Acceptance
by FyreBrande
Summary: Fourth part in the still-ongoing adventures of Rahna Tabris. Will contain Witch Hunt through Maker knows how far. World and most characters belong to BioWare. I get nothing out of this except enjoyment. Now complete.
1. Witch Hunt

1\. Witch Hunt

_'Do not follow me.'_

Morigan's warning echoes in my head as I stare at the stars. Part of me is absolutely unremorseful that I'm not acceding to her wishes, but the small sliver that remembers wistful golden eyes and a declaration of sisterhood is still wondering if this is the right thing to do.

But my curious nature won out, as always. It took a few months of hearing the rumors-a dark haired woman spotted in the Kocari Wilds, the Witch returned to her lair-but I finally decided I couldn't stand it any longer and set off. The one concession I made to our former friendship: I'm alone, save Fade. He wanted to come, and it was the only way to get Jowan and Nate to promise they wouldn't follow me. Between my blades and Fade's teeth, we'll be safe enough. I only had to swear it three times before Jowan relented, which to me is progress. Part of me is still convinced Nathaniel's following in the shadows, but if he is, I'll never know.

There's a rustle of blankets across the campsite, and my glance instinctively darts toward the noise. But the Dalish warrior we picked up in the Wilds is still sleeping, her swords tucked under her pillow for easy access. Ariane was the only person Fade and I found in Flemeth's old hut. Since we have a common goal-finding Morrigan-and Ariane had a lead, we decided to team up. Now, as the night wanes on and stars twinkle overhead, I try to work out why Morrigan would steal a book on long-destroyed artifacts from a Dalish clan, never mind how she knew they had it in the first place.

Fade snuffles and whines in his sleep, head bumping against my leg. I absently scratch between his ears as I ponder the lead Ariane shared. An apostate escapee from Kinloch Hold brought them the book, she said, so maybe there's more information at the Circle. I haven't been back to the tower since the Blight. Not a good place to go when I'm traveling with a blood mage, which makes me happy I talked him into staying back at the Vigil. _Wonder how the rebuilding process is going_, I muse, staring up at the stars. _It's been three years. Wonder if you can even tell anything happened..._ I guess I'll find out soon enough.

"I really hope this pans out," I whisper to the night sky.

**oOo**

All told, it only takes a few days to reach the Circle tower. We spend the time getting to know each other a little. Ariane is hesitant to share specifics with someone who isn't Dalish, which I understand. Given the fact most of my story and exploits are common knowledge-regardless of my opinion about _that_-I'm decidedly less shy. She could learn my entire story from one of the tavern keepers along the road if she wanted. I'd rather her hear it right. And, like her, I stick to the basics. No delving into my love life or anything like that. By the time we reach Kinloch Hold, I have a good enough picture of the talented-if slightly prickly-warrior to feel confident she can be trusted. Besides, Fade likes her. She can't be too bad.

To my surprise, it's not Greagoir who greets us when we enter the tower, but rather a younger man. "Hello, welcome to Ferelden's Circle of Magi. I would request that you please keep your hound under control. Some of the younger apprentices are easily startled."

"Well, we wouldn't want that," I chuckle, glancing at Fade, who does look like he's already plotting something. "Behave, boy."

The templar cracks a smile, and then notices Ariane. "A Dalish elf?"

"She can be trusted," I assure him.

Ariane bristles. "What's that supposed to mean? Most Dalish are common thieves?"

_Considering how your clan came by the eluvian book your Keeper wants back, I wouldn't get mad about that assumption... _"I'm not saying that. I'm saying you, as an individual he has never met before, can be trusted. We just need to do some research," I promise the templar.

"As you say," he nods. "The Circle is glad to have you as a guest, Warden-Commander. As you can see, much has changed since the last time you were here."

"I did notice that, yes," I reply with a smile. No corpses or bloodstains scattering the floors, a distinct absence of wounded and exhausted templars, and hopefully an equal absence of abominations. "So, where's Greagoir?"

"He is in Denerim, attending to some important business. My name is Hadley," he introduces himself, "I lead the templars in his absence."

"Pleasure to meet you, Hadley." I nod in greeting. "We just need the library."

"Of course. If there's a particular book you're looking for, you can start in the index section." Hadley gestures over his shoulder. "And as the Warden-Commander, you and your guests are free to roam the first floor without an escort. Let me know if you need anything."

"Thank you, I will." We head down the curving hallway toward the library, and I can't help but marvel at how right Hadley was. I know it's been three years since I was here, which is plenty of time, but I'm still shocked at how _normal _it looks now. Floors scrubbed clean, doors repaired, the few apprentices we pass look carefree and happy. Two of the girls put their heads together and whisper in awe when they recognize me. From the little bit I'm able to hear of their hushed conversation, it's some tall tale involving me and the pirate from the Pearl who got me started as a duelist. It's completely false, of course, but I've learned the hard way trying to quash these rumors only convinces people they must be true. _Sorry, ladies, the only thing I've 'taken on' between the sheets is a blond, goofy, ex-not-quite-templar._ But that's not nearly so scandalous as a threesome with a lady pirate, so I keep my mouth shut. Let them have their stories.

It's all I can do to keep my mouth from falling open when we walk into the library, and I stop so abruptly Ariane almost runs into me. The last time I was here, this room was gloomy and rank, strewn with templar corpses and lit only by what managed to make it through the windows. Bookshelves were fallen, charred remnants of their contents piled among the wreckage, and abominations lay in wait for more victims. Now, it's completely repaired. You'd never know anything like Uldred's rebellion ever happened. The bookshelves are up and filled with volumes on every topic an apprentice could wish to study, the soft, warm glow of lamps casting a golden light on everything, and there are a dozen or so mages reading, conversing, studying in the various alcoves as we make our way through.

The index is kept in a room just past the main library, and just before you go up the stairs to the next level. It doesn't take long to figure out where what we want. "_Catalog of Elven Relics _sounds promising, dontcha think?" I ask Ariane.

"Very promising," she agrees.

"Okay, it's in the Mysterious Artifacts section, which should be right back out the door, in that first alcove." The book is also easy to find, conveniently shelved low enough I don't even need to track down a ladder or a tall person to reach it for me. That, however is as far as easy take us. The book is in some ancient writing I don't even recognize. I snort in frustration and show it to Ariane.

She looks discouraged until her eyes light on a particular passage of text. "Wait, I recognize a character on this page!" She taps the parchment. "I think it's part of the word 'Eluvian'."

I raise an eyebrow. "So is this like the book you lost?"

"I... think so? The binding is the same style, but the script is different." She smiles hopefully. "This is a library, isn't it? Maybe we can find another book to help us translate."

It's a good idea, and probably the only thing that'll actually work, so back we go to the index. I have to leaf through a few of the index volumes before I find what I'm looking for, grinning as I listen to Ariane actually carry on a conversation with my dog, trying to talk him into scaring some poor apprentice. "The translation book is in the History section," I announce, cutting short whatever she was plotting. So we trek across the library to the History section, which is back near the door out to the dormitories. The book on translating elven languages is on a high enough shelf, I have to stand on a lower one to be able to reach it. Translation in hand, we return to the original section, pull out the book we need, and hold the two next to each other to get started.

We've barely set in when there's a startled yelp, tangled with a surprised growl from Fade, behind me. "Oh, for- Who let a dog in here?! And you, what're you doing? Be careful!"

I look up to see a human, clad in the sunshine-yellow robes of a Harrowed mage, staring at the two of us in horror. "What?"

"Do you have any idea how _old_ that book is?! You're bending it too much! You'll crack the spine, and then all the pages will fall out!" He takes a deep breath. "Oooh, just thinking about is making me dizzy..."

"So, you're familiar with this book, then?" I probe, laying it on the table.

"I've used it once or twice. I hardly have it memorized," the mage shrugs. "Why?" His gaze falls on the section we were trying to read before his interruption. "Eluvians, hmm? No one's ever actually found one, you know."

"Wait, you know what they are?" Ariane demands eagerly.

"It's old elvish for seeing glass," he replies. "Mirror."

"And how do you know _that_?" she presses.

"Cross referencing, educated guesses, typical process of elimination. Finally lucked into the answer in a Tevinter scroll." He almost lovingly smooths the pages of the text. "See, an Eluvian isn't just any mirror. It's special."

_Special would be putting it lightly._ I raise an eyebrow in curiosity. This guy strikes me as a scholarly type. Maybe he knows more about them then Jowan."Go on."

He's just warming to his subject, and I probably couldn't make him stop if I wanted to. "When the Imperium sacked Arlathan, see, they took these mirrors to try and unlock their secrets. Never did manage to use them for anything more than long-distance communication."

_Nuts. I knew that already._ "Anything you read mention them being used for, say... teleportation or travel?"

His eyes narrow. "Just one legend in the Tevinter scroll, said something about the elves using them to travel long distances. Why?"

"Just curious," I shrug.

"Wait a minute..." Ariane begins slowly. "Not too long ago, my people crossed paths with another Dalish clan who'd lost two of their best hunters to some strange mirror in the woods. It made them deathly ill, and then one night, they just...vanished."

The mage frowns. "I've never heard anything about Eluvians making people ill. What happened to the mirror?"

"Shattered," the Dalish warrior replies with a shrug. "Destroyed."

"What? Why?" he gasps.

"It had been corrupted by the darkspawn. They did it to protect others," she explains defensively.

"Hmm, even broken it could be used to find the others..." he murmurs, then shakes his head. "No, no, Finn, don't get ahead of yourself... You need to be sure."

"What? What do you know?" Ariane presses.

The mage-Finn, I guess-just laughs and rubs his hands together gleefully. "Oh, this is exciting! We have to get to the repository! Hadley has the key, come on!"

With little choice in the matter, Ariane and I fall in step behind him as he speed-walks back toward the front door and the Knight-Captain who hold the-literal and figurative-key to our progress.

A/N:WE'RE BACK! Sorry for the massive delay, it made sense to put off resuming Rahna's adventures until after I'd beaten Inquisition at least once. So now that I have one playthrough completed(Solasmancer, if you're curious), and a few more half done, I made myself get to work on this. In 'researching'-playing Witch Hunt and reading the wiki- I realized the DLC is supposed to be two years after the Blight, not two years after Awakening, which I had forgotten, so I'm tweaking the timeline a bit. Also, remember Rahna knows a little about Eluvians thanks to the Aeonar breakout back in Always, that's why her conversation with Finn(who I am looking forward to writing SO MUCH YOU HAVE NO IDEA) was different. ...I think that's everything.


	2. Things Are Never Easy

2\. Things Are Never Easy

We, of course, run into a snag pretty much straight out the gate: Hadley-very politely-refuses to hand over the key to the repository door. Ariane is bristling, so I speak up quickly to bypass another exchange like the one when we arrived. "What's wrong?"

"The sentinels are behaving erratically, so we've locked the repository for everyone's safety. It's not necessary for the daily function of Circle life, so we're leaving it until we can spare the men."

"Anything I can do?" I offer. _Always something to be killed, and always me around to do it..._ "I'm quite good at fighting and killing things."

He laughs. "I'm sure you are, my lady. But I'd hate to ask you to risk your necks. What's so important down there, anyway?"

I look over at the mage. "Finn? What're we after down there?"

"The statue," he explains to Hadley. "It knows things about Tevinter, and I need to speak to it."

"Why?" Hadley presses.

"I'm, uh, assisting these lovely ladies with research about an elven artifact. The most recent information we could find was on a Tevinter scroll," Finn elaborates. "I think the statue might know more."

"Ah. Very well." The templar nods, handing over the key. "I know you can be trusted, Finn. Just try to keep the mess to a minimum, hmm?"

"Of course, good ser. Wouldn't dream of doing otherwise," Finn assures him as he passes me the key.

"You know talking to inanimate objects is a sign of insanity, right?" Ariane needles as we head down the stairs.

Finn just smirks. "Not when it talks back."

She stares at him like he grew an extra head. "You... think the statue _talks_ to you?"

"It's complicated," he retorts. "She wasn't always a statue. You'll see."

I roll my eyes at them as I slide the key into the lock. It turns easily, the large, carved door swinging open on well-oiled hinges. I'm beginning to feel ever-so-vaguely like I'm chaperoning another Anders and Velanna snipefest, just slightly more tame. "Which way?"

"Through that door, then straight, then... left," Finn replies, pointing at the imposing wooden door to the left of the stairs. "Easy as pie."

It's not. There's a weird cloud of reddish mist hanging in the center of the room through the second door. It looks awfully-ominously-similar to the Veil tears in the Blackmarsh. Only those were green.

"Warden, look out!" Ariane shoves me aside, swords rising to block a strike from the animated suit of armor that's attempting to slice me in half.

I yelp, drawing my own weapons by instinct as Fade tackles another suit of armor. "These wouldn't be the sentinels, would they, Finn?!"

"Erm... Yes. Yes they would." He winces apologetically.

"This is not what I call erratic behavior!" I grouse, batting aside another strike from the nearest sentinel. "More like homicidal!"

"It must be the tear in the Veil!" Finn calls across the room. "If we can get rid of that, they'll most likely calm down!"

"Most likely?!" Ariane protests, fighting one to a standstill against the wall.

"D'you have any better ideas?" he retorts, staff flaring with the light of a spell.

"Well then, how do we get rid of them?" the warrior huffs.

"Cause enough damage, and they'll go away," I fill her in. _Hopefully. Long as these work the same as the ones in the marsh..._

Fortunately, they do. Also fortunately, Finn was right; as soon as the Veil tear is gone, the sentinels return to stand along the walls.

"Right, then..." I glance around the room, breathing hard. "What is this place, anyway?"

"It's a storage room," Finn explains. "Or, well, it was. They used to keep the apprentices' phylacteries down here, 'til a few years ago."

"What happened a few years ago?" Ariane probes as we take in the empty, dusty shelves.

He shrugs. "Escape attempt. Made the templars realize this might not be the safest place to keep them."

I smirk behind his back as we file up the stairs to the repository. _If it was who I think it was, wasn't just an _**_attempt_****.** Makes me even more glad I talked Jowan into staying behind. I don't think the templars would be too happy to see him. Not that they could do anything about it, him being a Warden and all, but in the interest of not ruffling feathers, it's good that he's not here. A fact I'm going to be forthright in pointing out to him when I get back.

"Alright, here we go." Finn interrupts my train of thought, approaching a statue of a woman holding a spear. "Hello? Hello, can you hear me?"

"The prison is breached! I sense the encroaching darkness!" Its voice trembles with unrestrained fear.

Ariane's jaw drops, and she _stares_. "Wow. It does talk."

"Eleni?" Finn tries again.

"The... the shadow will consume all..." the statue replies in a quavering yet still musical tone.

"Something is causing it distress," Finn sighs, waving a hand through the red wisps that surround the statue. "Probably the tears in the Veil. It'll be useless to us until the Veil's mended."

_Maker, it's never easy, is it?_ I gripe with a sardonic chuckle. "Well... let's get to work, then, shall we?"

"Yes. I want to get this over with..." the mage agrees.

Fade chooses that exact moment to emerge from a far corner of the room with something held delicately in his jaws. He lopes up to Ariane and deposits it at her feet, then sits back on his haunches awaiting praise.

"Oh, look, Finn, he fetched me a flower!" She bends and scoops up the well-preserved violet. "How thoughtful! It's so pretty! Slobbery, but pretty."

Finn eyes her skeptically. "Should just ask him to fetch us a Morrigan. Would make this a lot easier. And there'd be less fighting involved."

"Oh, is poor baby not used to fighting?" Ariane cooes teasingly, smirking at him as she tucks the flower in a belt pouch.

"Ariane, I am a _healer_," he points out. "And I've never left the tower. The extent of my experience with 'fighting' is grabbing for the last sticky bun at the same time as three other apprentices."

"You've never left the tower?"

"What's the point?" he asks. "Long as you play nice and don't rile the templars, it's safer here than out in the world. Not all of us are chronic escapists, and there's nothing out there that I particularly want to see."

"That's a good point," I concede. "I just... the only mages I've known were Dalish, apostates, or Circle escapees. So it's weird for me to encounter a mage who's happy here."

"Well, we do exist," Finn shrugs.

"Yes, we see that. Now, can we get on with this?" Ariane prods.

"Right, sorry. C'mon, Fade." With my mabari by my side, I lead the way into the winding hallways that twist below the Circle tower.

**oOo**

The biggest headache in this whole mess proves to be the ghostly sentinels, the mage ones. Regular sentinels are just a lurchy, awkward suit of armor. They pack a wallop, but they swing their swords so slow, they're usually easy to avoid. The ghosty ones, however, are overly fond of paralyzing spells, and I narrowly avoid decapitation enough times I decide I'm definitely glossing over this part of this escapade when I tell the story back at the Vigil. No need to worry _certain people._

After the last of the Veil tears has been mended, we make our way back to the statue to try again. "Hello?"

This time the voice that resonates from the stone is far calmer. "I am the essence and spirit of Eleni Zinovia, once consort-"

"Advisor to Archon Valerius, blah blah, fall of the house. Yes, we've been through that," Finn interrupts.

"Ah, Finn. Greetings." It sounds almost fond.

"I take it you two know each other," I tease.

"We've conversed before, on the Imperium," the mage explains. "It's hard to get answers out of it-requires parsing all the grandiose mumbo-jumbo." He turns back to the statue, enunciating clearly, as if talking to a child. "We know where a broken Eluvian lies. Can it still be used to find the others?"

"Scry," the statues affirms. "The broken glass, dagger-sharp, will be your key."

"You mean the broken glass from the mirror?" I probe, wanting to be absolutely clear before we leave.

"Yes. The lights of Arlathan will illuminate the scryer's path. The archons possessed them, but they were misused, befouled, and lost, like so much the Imperium touched. Some were saved, carried by fugitives from the elven city. Their sorrow awoke the Stone, and her children sheltered them. They found sanctuary in the deep halls of Cad'halash, now called Cadash. There the Light of Arlathan lie, shielded from unworthy eyes."

Ariane gapes at it. "The children of the Stone? I had not realized the durgen'len once aided my people when they fled."

"Deep halls of Cad'halash..." Finn mutters under his breath. "Must mean a dwarven thaig."

"Goodbye, Finn," the statue says. "We will not speak again." Instructions relayed, it falls silent.

"Will not speak again?" he repeats, panicked. "What's that supposed to mean?! I'm going to die, aren't I?"

"Not if we can help it," Ariane reassures him, tone perfectly balanced between teasing and comfort. "We're going to need you for the scrying thing, aren't we?"

"True," he concedes, somewhat mollified. "I guess we should go inform Hadley everything is back to normal down here, and then you can show us where this broken Eluvian is?"

She nods as we head for the door. "The other clan warned us where it lay so we could avoid it. I can get us there. But what about those lights she mentioned? What's important about those?"

Finn sighs, pinches the bridge of his nose, probably trying to figure how to explain this to someone who's not a mage. "The Eluvians are all connected. You can use one of them to find the others, if they still work. But since the one you know of is broken, corrupted, we need something to... amplify the magic. That's where the Lights of Arlathan come in."

"And finding an Eluvian will help us find Morrigan, since she's so interested in them," I mumble under my breath.

"What was that, Warden?" Ariane asks, eyebrow quirking upward.

"Just wondering how good our odds are convincing Hadley to let Finn leave the tower," I substitute.

"Oh, pretty good," Finn assures. "I don't cause trouble, and I'm on good terms with most of the templars. You shouldn't have much of a problem."

_"_You _want _to come? And leave the warm safety of your tower?" Ariane teases.

"Of course! It was thought all the Eluvians were destroyed. I can't pass up a chance to actually find a working one! I'd never forgive myself."

_This should be fun_, I think to myself as we climb the final set of stairs out of the repository.

**oOo**

Finn was right; it's very easy to talk Hadley into letting him come along. We just call it 'continuing research' and since the mage is apparently the farthest thing from a troublemaker, Hadley almost gladly grants permission.

"I'll explain to the Knight-Commander, should he return before you do," the templar assures us. He also insists on paying me for clearing things up in the repository, despite my protests.

I finally relent and take the sovereigns he offers. I'll donate them to the Amaranthine reconstruction effort or something. Soon as Finn's ready to leave, we're off for the Brecilian Forest.

A/N:Okay, here we go. Actually played around with the dialogue in this chapter, rather than just pulling straight from the game. And, yes, as always, I'm going to try and work in some party banters(specifically really want to use the ones involving Finn's full name *evil laughter* ).


	3. The Great Outdoors

The ride across the lake is quiet and cold. I think Lake Calenhad must _always_ feel like freshly melted ice. Finn burrows deeper into the folds of his cloak, muttering about the 'glorious outdoors' and how Dalish are crazy to live in the elements all year round.

Ariane responds by pushing back her hood and letting the breeze play with her hair, commenting to me how some shemlen are just so _delicate_ it boggles the mind.

The rest of the journey to shore is silent. There's still enough daylight left to make some progress, so I pass the Spoiled Princess with hardly a second glance.

"So, Ariane," Finn starts as we head up the hill, "does your name mean anything in elven?"

"Blessed Creators, why does everyone ask that of people from other cultures?" she huffs.

He looks taken aback by her vehemence. "Oh, I-I didn't mean..."

"What about you? Were you named after an honorable fish's appendage?" she asks sarcastically.

"Well, um, no. But Florian Phineas Horatio Aldebrandt, Esquire is a bit of a mouthful." He clears his throat sheepishly. "And I was tired of the other apprentices calling me, ah, Flora."

Ariane _stares_ likes she's wondering if he's for real, and I have to bite my lip _hard_ to keep from laughing.

"Finn's a good compromise, then," I finally manage, wondering what kind of parents saddle their kid with a name like _that_. "So, Ariane, how far is it to this mirror?"

"The other clan was pretty deep in the Brecilian Forest..." she pauses, slings her pack off to rest on a rock, and pulls out a map. "A week?" she guesses, then glances at Finn. "Maybe a little longer if we have to slow down for him?"

"I heard that!" Finn protests from behind us.

"Is it false?" Ariane retorts, looking satisfied when he just gives her a dark look.

"Well... probably not. But _still_."

"Still, what?"

"You could maybe say it with less... glee," he mutters.

"And where's the fun in that?" she giggles.

Finn just sighs and concentrates on walking, stubbornly doing his best to keep up with Ariane and me. For the most part, Ariane ignores him. She's more focused on playing fetch with my dog. Fade, of course, loves all the attention, and happily goes along with it. Each times he returns with the stick she rewards him with a small piece of jerky.

I watch this go on for a good ten minutes before commenting it. "You spoilin' my dog?"

She looks chagrined. "Maybe a little?"

I laugh. "Don't worry, it's fine. He hasn't been spoiled in a very long time. He deserves it today."

"Alright, then." She wrestles the stick away from him and tosses it off to the side. Fade goes bonding after it gleefully, happy barks trailing behind him. "You know, I have a dog."

I raise an eyebrow. "You do?"

"Mmhm. Not a mabari, of course. Just some five breed mutt we fished out of a river a couple years ago. She decided she liked me and started following me everywhere. So nI named her and started training her. If she was going to stay, she might as well be of some use."

I nod. I'm well acquainted with the Dalish habit of making everything useful thanks to Velanna and Jerin. "You miss her?"

Ariane nods. "Yes. That dog is my best friend. She's a good hunting dog, so I left her with my brother."

"Well, hopefully, this won't take too long, and you'll be reunited with her in no time- whoop!" I nearly trip over _my_ dog as he comes loping back with his stick. Ariane grabs my arm to help me keep my balance. "Thanks."

"Don't mention it," she shrugs, accepting the stick from Fade so she can throw it again.

The rest of the day's walking alternates between shallow, casual conversation and not-quite easy silence. More than once I catch Finn about to run into a tree because he's trying to read and walk at the same time. He always thanks me for the save and continues reading. Until after the fourth time, when I point out that reading while walking is slowing him-and by consequence _us_-down. He sheepishly stashes the book in his pack, muttering something about reading it when we make camp for the night.

"What're you readin' up on anyway?" I ask as we crest a hill.

"Scrying," Finn explains. "It's not a very often practiced art nowadays, so even most educated mages don't have more than a rudimentary grasp of the concept, and it's only been done a few times in the past few decades. If I'm going to be conducting a scrying ritual, I want to be sure of what I'm doing."

"Given that we'll be right there with you if something goes wrong, I appreciate that," I joke. "But we have several days' worth of travel ahead of us, you'll have plenty of time to read."

**oOo**

We only get a couple more hours' progress before it's time to stop and make camp. I can't help but grin as I set up my tent, listening to Ariane semi-patiently attempt to show Finn how to do it. It only takes him five tries before he gets the hang of it. By that point, I've set up my tent and Ariane's, piled some blankets on the ground for Fade, and started working on dinner.

"Thank you, Warden." Ariane sits next to me.

"Not a problem," I assure her, turning the skewers that hold our dinner so the meat cooks evenly. "You, um, had your hands full. I figured it was the least I could do."

She snorts, glances over at the mage-who's currently trying to brush mud stains off his robe, with limited success-and then back at me. "Oh, yes, the very least. He doesn't have a clue what he's doing."

"Well, you have to take into account he's probably never done anything like this before," I point out. "Unless they're chronic escapists, most mages live very sheltered lives."

"True," she nods. "But I know _children_ more savvy than him."

"Because they were _raised_ in it. You can't hold it against Finn that they don't offer _how to survive in the wild_ classes in the Circle. That would be like encouraging them to escape."

Ariane looks ready to try and counter my point, but keeps her mouth shut when Finn finally joins us.

"Get settled in?" I ask the mage.

"I think so, he nods, looking decidedly peevish.

"What's the matter, Finn? You don't seem that pleased to be out of the tower," Ariane comments innocently. "I thought most mages wanted to be free."

"Why? Just to be outside?" Finn scoffs, sitting down next to her. "D'you see this splotch here, on my robe? He points to the offending stain. "That's mud! There's no mud in the tower! I miss being cozy and dry..."

"Well, if I read the sky right, you'll be missing it even more in a couple hours," I inform him, wry grin tugging at my lips. "I'm pretty sure it's going to rain tonight. Maybe into tomorrow."

"Just _peachy_," Finn grouses, staring at the campfire. "Um, I'm new to the whole adventuring thing, but is dinner supposed to be smoking?" He points at the skewers, which are indeed smoking abundantly.

I swear under my breath as I rotate the sticks again. "Hope you two like well done..."

Ariane shrugs. "Food is food. As long as it's edible I'm happy."

Finn looks quite _un_happy with this development, but doesn't say anything, opting to hide behind his book rather than voice disappointment.

Fade, as always, locks in on the member of our little party that would be most inconvenienced by his attention and unceremoniously shoves his head in Finn's lap. Finn ignores him as long as he can before pushing the mabari away. Fade whines and immediately resumes his former position. The mage nudges him away again. "Shoo! Go fetch or something."

Ariane laughs. "You have to give him something, Finn. You can't just say fetch and expect him to retrieve random things."

"Well, why not?" he grumbles. "I once heard of a really smart mabari that would run off and fetch things. Like cake." He stares hard at Fade. "I think this one's broken."

It's my turn to laugh. "Actually... Fade? _Fade_." I wait until he looks at me and ask, "See anything interesting, boy?"

He barks enthusiastically and darts off into the nearby woods.

I grin. "You just have to know how to ask."

"I'll keep that in mind," Finn replies, giving me a dubious look. Which melts into astonishment when the mabari trundles back, a chewed and damp book clenches in his teeth.

"Good boy," I coo as Fade deposits his treasure at my feet. I toss him a chunk of extra meat. "Lay down and stop pestering Finn."

He _wuffs_ happily and obeys, gnawing at the meat.

"Well, that's impressive," the mage allows. "Will he do that for anyone?"

I shrug, giving the skewers a final twist before I pull them from the fire. "Dunno. Me an' Alistair are the only ones who ever tried, and there was strong incentive for him to cooperate with both of us."

I watch momentary confusion bleed away into understanding on both their faces, but neither _says_ anything, expressions going carefully blank as they trade a glance.

"Guys, it was two years ago. I miss him terribly, and I wouldn't say I'm over it, but I am... at peace with what happened." _Doesn't mean I don't want to have words with Morrigan, if we find her._

The solemn turn puts a damper on conversation and we all eat in silence before Finn and Ariane go to bed.

I sit on a fallen tree trunk and watch the surrounding darkness, wondering where the ache in my stomach came from.

A/N:In which we set off, Finn gripes about mud, and I get to use the first of the banters I really wanted to use. EXCELLENT. I know this chapter is sort of filler(and a tad short), but I wanting to build some sort of relationship between Rahna and Finn/Ariane, given that she'll be spending a decent bit of time with them. Granted, they'll never be as close as she is with Zev/Nate/Sigrun/etc but I want some level of camaraderie between the-for now-major characters. So we get traveling and banter. Next chapter will definitely have the eluvian, and maybe get to Cadash thaig. I have to go back and remember if Rahna did Shale's personal quest...


	4. Eluvian

4\. Eluvian

I turn out to be right about the rain. And in an extra wicked twist, it starts halfway through Finn's turn on watch. A fact he complains about the next day-persistently enough Ariane half-jokingly threatens to cut out his vocal cords.

"I'm sure your fellow mages would thank me," she teases when he protests.

"Alright, fine, I get it; no more complaining about the weather," he tosses back with an injured huff. "But you know what comes after rain, don't you?"

"Oh, by all means, enlighten me," Ariane smirks.

"Mosquitoes," Finn retorts, drawing the word out ominously. "Hungry for sweet, untested mage flesh."

She snorts. "That's only in the summer, you-" I clear my throat loudly- "sillyhead. It's too early in the year right now."

"Oh, well, it's still all muddy and _wet_," he grumbles. "my robes are never going to recover."

Ariane grins, clearly biting back a laugh. "And this is traveling on cared-for roads. Can't wait to drag Master Fussybritches into the woods."

I give a short laugh. "That will be, uh, fun."

"For who, me or you two hooligans?" Finn interjects.

"Oh, all of us," Ariane promises. "You'll get to see a whole bunch of plants and trees that only grow in the Brecilian Forest, and the Warden and I get to make bets on how many mudstains it'll take for you to truly flip out."

Finn looks ready to comment something less than complimentary, so I speak up quickly. "I'm sure once we find the mirror, the last thing we're going to care about is the local fauna, or counting mudstains on your robe. D'you feel like you've read up enough on scrying rituals to perform one?"

He nods. I'll probably keep reading whenever we stop to camp, just to make sure, but I'm confident I can conduct one properly."

"Good to know," I nod, grateful both that he's distracted. The last thing I need is him and Ariane sniping at each other our entire week of travel. With the current match of wits abated, the three of us walk in rarely-broken silence for a few hours.

**oOo**

"So let me get this straight," Ariane begins, breaking a forty five minute quiet streak. "Your name is Florian Phineas..."

"Horatio Aldebrandt, Esquire," Finn sighs. "Can't forget the Esquire. Father insisted. And have you _really_ been thinking about that all day?"

"I just... Did your parents hate you?" she asks, gaze darting sideways as she throws a stick for Fade.

"Quite the contrary," Finn rebuts, "They adore me. I'm sure my name is just the result of overwhelming love replacing good sense."

"Whatever lets you sleep at night..." Ariane mutters.

"Hm?"

"Nothing!"

**oOo**

The on and off bantering continues through the whole trip. It does get decidedly more congenial-friendly teasing instead of sniping-around the third day. I almost drop to my knees to thank the Maker, but decide against it. If I make a big deal about this, they may revert to old habits. So I play fetch with my dog and don't say a word. Just as Ariane predicted, it takes a week to get to the cavern that holds the mirror. Also just as she predicted, Finn is not happy regarding the number of mudstains on his robes as we make our way through the forest.

To my great surprise, there are actually _people_ in the subterranean ruin. Well, sort of. Elves who have fallen to the Blight and became ghouls. Needless to say, they aren't happy to see us. Given that they're armed and angry, we aren't thrilled to see them, either. Ariane does still murmur Dalish rites for the departed as one by one they fall.

The door Ariane says we need is, of course, locked. And not just locked but enchanted to only open with the key-which Finn only thinks to tell me _after_ I've bent my second-best lockpicks in the keyhole.

"That would've been nice to know," I grumble, glaring at the door. "Guess we better go find the key, huh?"

Fortunately, the tainted elves make that step easier for us. When they see us coming down the hallway they start hissing admonitions at each other to protect the key master. This tells me two things. First, that there's a person holding the key rather than it being buried under a rock or something, and second, that wherever they congregate the thickest is most likely where we need to go. So we follow the 'trail' of angry, armed, tainted elves through the halls until we find the key master-a horribly tainted elven mage with fire at his fingertips and the key hanging around his neck.

"Got a plan?" Ariane asks when I grab her arm to keep her from just charging in.

"Yeah." I survey the layout of the room. "Finn, you get crowd control-" I nod toward the trio of elves that guard the mage- "I'll help with that and distract old fire fingers there, and Ariane, you take him out while he's focused on me."

"Got it," she whispers, carefully drawing her swords to keep them from ringing and giving away our position. Finn nods understanding as well.

"Okay, then... go!" I rush directly at the mage, Fade only half a step behind me-which quickly turns into barreling past me-but he gets drawn off by one of the guards. The other two, I note as I roll under a gout of flame, are stationary. Stuck. And Finn is not wasting the opening his paralysis spell gave him. It turns out to be a very good thing he's so prompt in finishing them off. Even as Fade rids himself of the elf he was fighting and the mage slides limp and dead off Ariane's sword, I hear _our_ mage shriek. Honest to Andraste _shriek_. Considering it's because a spider twice the size of Fade almost landed on his head, I understand that reaction completely. Ariane and I are still going to give him grief about it, of course. But giant spiders were enough to make _Alistair_ scream like a girl-probably why Morrigan shifted into one as much as possible-so Finn can be allowed one high-pitched shriek. And this spider is a tough old thing. It's been corrupted, tainted by the mirror like everything else down here.

It hisses angrily and launches a ball of webbing at me, one that spreads too far for me to avoid it entirely. It definitely slows me down; having to fight the sticky strands. Fortunately, Ariane and Fade are right behind me, and they both charge past to deal with the spider and distract it from Finn. I cut away just enough of the webbing that it no longer restricts my movements and dive into the fray myself. A spider's legs are its biggest vulnerability, and we take full advantage of that fact. Well, Fade just charges straight at it, undeterred by the clumps of beady eyes. Ariane and I set about hacking at its legs. Even tough as it is, it can only withstand so much, and when it lunges at me, I hastily maneuver my sword into a position where the spider impales itself. I still have to crawl out from under the spasming corpse, but it's better than having a _live_ spider on top of me.

Ariane and Finn still look wary as I regain my feet, and they both maintain a defensive posture until I've pulled the key from around the slain mage's neck. Once we make it that far with nothing attacking us, they relax.

"Alright, let's try this again..." I mutter, smearing spider ichor off my armor with one hand. We head back to the door, and I breathe a quick prayer as I slide the key into the lock. It settles and turns easily, much to my relief. "Here we go..." I push the door open and we enter the chamber beyond.

**oOo**

Nothing from the descriptions we've read, or Finn's lectures on the subject could prepare me for the sight that greets my eyes. The mirror towers over us, twelve feet tall at least-not counting the raised pedestal on which it rests-flanked by carven-stone warriors and nestled in the root of some great three far above our heads.

"I can't believe this is one of the lost Eluvians," Finn breathes, staring in open-mouthed astonishment. "It's magnificent! ...And broken," he sighs, gaze turning forlorn as it roams over the shattered glass that still clings to the arching frame. "Mostly broken."

"So how big a piece do you need for a scrying ritual?" I prod, carefully mounting the steps and crouching by the pool of shattered glass.

"The size of my hand would be ideal," he replies, still staring at the carvings that cover the frame. "But I could work with anything that's at least half the size of my palm."

With these criteria to go on, we start gingerly sorting through the glass. Fortunately, it doesn't take too long-or too many injuries-to find a good sized piece. I carefully wrap it in an old shirt, for both its protection and mine, before stashing it in my pack, trying to ignore the stinging cut across the back of my fingers.

Finn notices the blood, however, and though he looks a touch woozy at the sight of it, insists I let him heal it before we move on. "We don't know what we're going to encounter going forward. The last thing we need is for that to start festering and get oozy."

"Fine, fine," I sigh, holding out my hand. He's a decent healer, but whether through lack of experience on his part or the cut going deeper than it looks, there's still a scar across my fingers when he's finished. "Good enough." I have so many scars, what's one more? _Enough to set Jowan worrying again_, part of me whispers, but I shove it away.

"Alright, we have the shard of the Eluvian, but we still need the Light of Arlathan," Finn muses, still staring regretfully at the broken mirror. "We should head to Cadash Thaig. You know, whenever you're ready," he adds hurriedly, I guess so it doesn't seem like he's trying to take over our... expedition.

"Might as well get this over with," I mutter as we head for the exit. I'm mentally calculating how long it'll take us to get there, and not particularly happy with the numbers I'm getting. Two weeks just to _get_ to Orzammar, and then up to _another_ week in the Deep Roads-I can already feel myself getting claustrophobic-to reach the thaig.

Oh, yeah. This is gonna be _fun_.

A/N: Alright, sorry for the delay. I was sick a couple weeks ago, and that really cut into my writing time. But all better now, and ready to keep this moving forward. Just as a heads up if there are new readers, if I ever miss a week without warning, you can always check my deviantart page(username's FyreQueen89), because I will post journals over there if I'm sick/something comes up that will interfere with posting.


	5. Old Wounds

Wounds

_I miss the sun. I smile wryly into the semi-darkness of the subterranean tunnel_. If my father knew what I was thinking..._He'd laugh, I'm sure. His little girl, who used to curse the big ball of light and heat every hot summer day, with words no child my age should have known, misses the sun. But I do. I miss the sun, the stars. Grass. Air that's not stuffy with heat and darkspawn spume._

_I push back a fresh wave of panic as the claustrophobia starts scrabbling at the edges of my mind again. Damn these tunnels. Damn Branka, and damn the dwarven political situation. That's the only reason I'm down here; to solve a deadlock so I can get my armies and go._

_There's a soft rustle of clothes against skin as someone sits next to me. "What're you doing, love?"_

_I scoot closer to Alistair, glad that I at least have him. "Trying to forget that we're a mile underground at the very least, so I don't go crazy."_

_"I thought you already were crazy," he teases, sliding his fingers in between mine and squeezing my hand._

_"Crazy for you, yes. The other kind of crazy, not quite yet," I shoot back, slapping my free hand against his chest with a laugh. "It'll probably happen eventually, though. Especially if I keep spending time with you."_

_He laughs and kisses the back of my hand. "I guess I rather deserved that, didn't I?"_

_"Absolutely." I nod emphatically, grinning at him. "Now stop distracting me; I'm supposed to be on watch for deepstalkers or darkspawn or any other nasty things that might try to eat us tonight." I pause. "Is it even night?"_

_Alistair shrugs. "I dunno. I've lost track of what day it is, to be honest, Rahna."_

_"Me, too," I admit. "I think we've been down here two weeks, but even that's just guesswork-"_

_"Almost three, Warden," a gruff, sleepy voice interrupts from behind me, words slurred by alcohol almost as much as weariness. "Sodding surfacers ain't got the stone sense of a two month old baby..."_

_I roll my eyes and fight a giggle. "Thanks for clearing that up for me, Oghren."_

_"My pleasure," the dwarf grumbles back, "Now, d'you and lover boy mind keepin' it down? Some of us're tryin' t' sleep here."_

_This time I do giggle. "Sorry. We'll try to whisper."_

_"Many thanks..." He's passed out again even as the words leave his lips._

_"We brought him... why?" Alistair asks in a whisper, raising an eyebrow at me._

_I lightly swat his arm. "It's his wife we're chasing down. If all our other leads fail, he supposedly knows how she thinks and can tell us what she'd do. For now, though, the Dead Trenches is a solid thread to follow." I sigh. "So long as I don't crazy from the thought of a mile of rock overhead. You know even crowds or narrow hallways can stir up my claustrophobia. This is a thousand time wor- mmph!" My fretting ends abruptly as Alistair gently cups one hand along my cheek and kisses me long and deep enough I'm gasping for air by the time he pulls back, his forehead still resting against mine as I drag in ragged breaths._

_"Wh-What was that f-for?" I whisper._

_"I don't know any better way to distract you," he whispers back, his thumb moving in small, caressing circles on my cheek._

_"Oh." I can hear the husky note in my voice, and wonder if he can, too._

_"Is it working?" he murmurs, brushing another, lighter, kiss against my lips._  
_  
"Mm-hm," I manage, nodding as my hands slide up his chest to curve around the back of his neck when he kisses me again. "Mhmmm... Alistair..." My head is spinning by this point, my thoughts addled enough I'm not going to try to untangle them. All that matters is Alistair. We part briefly to snatch a breath before coming together again, this kiss more passionate than the others. By the time it ends, I'm straddling his lap, his back pressed against the tunnel wall and his fingers tangled in my hair._

_"Rahna..." he mumbles between breathless kisses, a soft groan following my name, "We're not alone, remember, love..."_

_"I don't sodding care," I whisper fiercely, nibbling on his lip a bit before I pull back this time._

_"That much is obvious, but did you ever think this display might bother us?" Morrigan's acidic question is plainly intended to make us blush, but she doesn't succeed._

_"Morrigan, if it bothers you that much, would you like to take the end of my watch so Alistair and I can continue this.._. _distraction in my tent?" I shoot back, clamping down on the moan that rises from my gut when Alistair take advantage of my attention being on the witch to kiss the sensitive spot behind my ear._ SweetholyMakerabove...  
_  
She just snorts, but I hear Oghren grumble before the dwarf pokes his head out of his tent, hair sticking out in a dozen directions. "Sod it all, woman... I'll do it. Can't sleep anyway, listenin' t' you two goin' at it like a pair of brontos in heat..."_

_While I don't appreciate the comparison, I keep my mouth shut and just drag Alistair toward my tent. "Come on, ser templar. I find myself in need of more distraction..."_

_He gives me that sheepish, lopsided grin that I adore more than I can put into words and kisses the back of my neck as the tent flap rustles closed behind us. "As my lady wishes."  
_  
That's what I like to hear..._I smirk as I pull him into another greedy kiss and let him distract me from everything else for just a while._

_I sleep much better that night compared to the rest of the time we've been down here. When the nightmares drag me from sleep, feeling like there's no air in my lungs, the warmth of Alistair's body pressed against mine calms me just because he's there. He is my rock, and I know it. So even as fragments of monster-filled dreams whisper to my mind, shadows of fear creeping in, I snuggle closer to him and refuse to let them have a foothold._

_It works, and I'm considerably more chipper the next day; which draw a sharp comment from Morrigan, a sly grin from Oghren, and a soft, knowing smile from Wynne. I ignore all of them as we eat breakfast and set off on our final push toward the Dead Trenches. Oghren leads, Alistair and I just behind him, and the two mages in the back. The darkspawn are noticeably thicker in the Trenches; perhaps because of the archdemon, which we see from not-too-great a distance as it marshals its troops from a cracked and crumbling bridge. It's a fight to cross the bridge, a fight for every inch of progress past it. But it's a fight I take on without hesitation, trusting the people at my back._

**oOo**

I was expecting claustrophobia. I was expecting flashbacks. What I wasn't expecting was them hitting  
before we even made it into the Deep Roads. We reached Orzammar late enough last night that all the merchants were closing up and we couldn't resupply. So I got to introduce Ariane and Finn to the Rusty Nug, the only inn Orzammar has with human sized beds.

Finn, of course, wants to know why it's call the Rusty Nug. "And how does a nug rust, anyway?"

I shrug. "Beats me. I'm pretty sure the owner named it while drunk and just picked two random words."

"That... does make sense," the mage concedes.

After I checked us in, we all retired to our rooms to prepare for tomorrow. My night is restless; the mere _thought _of the Deep Roads enough to set off my claustrophobia. The claustrophobia in turn triggers vivid flashbacks. By the time it's morning and the vendors are opening, I've gotten a whopping three hours of sleep, none of it deep enough to be much good, and most of the interruption poked and prodded at the still-tender scar on my heart that is Alistair.

And no amount of reminding myself I've moved on makes it hurt less. I love Jowan, I really, truly do, but there are so many memories down here with Alistair... it's just reopening a lot of old wounds. And I don't like the twisty knot it's giving me in my gut.

I must not do a good a job hiding my off-kilter state as I think I do, because as we gather the supplies we'll need, Ariane rests a hand on my arm. "Are you alright? You've been quiet all morning."

"'M fine," I assure her, toying with the end of my braid. "Just had some weird dreams last night, and the claustrophobia's already set in with a vengeance."

She raises an eyebrow. "Are you going to be alright? Is it going to get worse?"

"Probably to both," I shrug. "But I've been to the Deep Roads before, I'm sure I can manage to do it again." It's very hard to ignore the little voice reminding me I don't have a _distraction_ this time. "You do realize how careful you're going to have to be, right?" I ask, the question aimed at mage and warrior both. "Fade and I are both immune to the taint, but you two will have to be very careful, especially if we run into darkspawn. It only takes one small cut that gets infected by their blood and you're gone."

"I know," they promise in unison.

"Trust me, we'll be careful," Finn adds as extra assurance. "I for one want to die of ripe old age, not darkspawn taint."

"Well, then, if we're prepared, let's get this over with." I sling my full to bursting pack on my back and head for the tunnel that leads to the Deep Roads, quietly dreading the next couple weeks.

**oOo**

It's every bit as bad as I was anticipating. The claustrophobia hits hard and fast and stays with me every step of the way through the tunnels. _Is this worth it?_ dances at the back of my mind on a daily basis. _Is __**Morrigan**__ worth it?_ It gets harder and harder to insist that yes, it is very much worth it. I have questions for Morrigan, the deep, gnawing kind that bother you until you have answers. And besides, we've made it this far, and I've never been one to back down from a challenge. Even is all said involves is not passing out mid-sentence and forcing myself to eat despite the nausea.

Fortunately, I'm lousy at hiding how much of a struggle this is for me, so Finn and Ariane keep up an almost punishing pace in order to shave off some time. All it winds up saving us is a day, but that's a day less we have to spend down here, so I'll take it. One other good thing is the lack of darkspawn. For whatever reason, we hardly encounter any. A little weird, maybe, but the Deep Roads run for miles, so I'm not going to get too upset this section isn't so bad right now.

"Eugh!" Finn complains behind me, glaring at the tunnel wall as he wipes his hand against his robes. "You know, I'm not sure I like the Deep Rods. Fewer darkspawn than expected, but it's slimy. and it feels like we're being watched."

I shake my head at him. "You aren't supposed to _like_ the Deep Roads. No one does. Wait a minute..." I glance at the map in my hand compare distances, and then move toward a cobwebbed side tunnel.

"Why're you stopping?" Finn demands. "Is this Cadash thaig?"

"If this map's right, it is. What now, oh scholarly one?" I grin at him, trying to distract myself from the pressing anxiety and nausea.

"Right, I've... er, been going through the notes I made, and, ah, I came across a footnote. Apparently, the elves had a way of magically concealing relies of great value or significance, thus shielding them from unworthy eyes. And, well, given what the Tevinters did, I'd say they count as unworthy."

"You don't say," Ariane mutters sarcastically.

Finn stares at her. "I literally just did."

"So the Lights of Arlathan are under this enchantment?" I ask quickly to keep this from devolving into a sniping match.

"That's my hypothesis," the mage nods. "But they might just be buried in the ground, too." He sucks his teeth a moment in thought. "You know, that's actually very likely, now that I think about it... It appears Cadash thaig is built on the ruins of Cad'halash. The Lights could be _miles_ below us."

Ariane makes a face. "I liked the other the theory more."

"Yes, well, um, if the elves _did_ conceal the relics with magic, only the blood of their kin will reveal them," Finn points out, fidgeting nervously, as if anticipating unpleasantness.

"Alright, so...?" Ariane hints, raising an eyebrow.

He clears his throat, straightens, and makes himself meet her eyes. "Ariane, we need your blood."

A/N:So that flashback wound up longer than expected. I had part of it written already, as the start of a oneshot, but I never finished that, so I just decided to use it for this. I feel so bad for Rahna whenever she has to go into the Deep Roads, because her claustrophobia is so bad. That's not a good phobia for a Grey Warden. Fortunately, they should only be down here for a chapter more, maybe two.


	6. Distracting

6\. Distracting

After a moment of speechless staring. Ariane spits something in elvish that sounds decidedly uncomplimentary, followed by an incredulous, "_Excuse me_?"

"Just a few drops, that's all," Finn clarifies defensively, backing up a step.

"Would my blood work?" I interject.

Finn shakes his head. "The darkspawn taint will have corrupted it. It needs to be pure for the ritual to work."

That phrase strikes an uncomfortable chord inside me. "Finn, is this blood magic?"

"Um..." he hesitates before settling on an explanation. "Blood doesn't _power_ the spell, it's just a component. It's certainly a grey area," he concedes with a shrug.. "So let's just keep this between the three of us, shall we?"

Fade lets out a disapproving bark.

"_Four_ of us," the mage corrects before turning back to Ariane. "You share the same blood as the Arlathan elves, so you're the only one this might recognize."

"Oh, fine," she sighs, pulling off a gauntlet and extending her hand toward him. "But only because hearing that makes me feel all tingly. A few drops."

Finn gingerly takes her wrist, cupping his hand under hers to hold it steady. "I'll be gentle," he promises, taking the dagger I offer him with a grateful nod.

I always keep my blades sharp, so it doesn't take much for the dagger to bite into Ariane's finger. Despite Finn living up to his promise-he's very gentle-she still flinches.

"Keep your hand there," Finn instructs as he release his grip, blood standing bright against her skin. "My spell will reveal vortices of magic. If you stand in them, it should allow us to see the energy being drawn to the relics, which will lead us to them." He murmurs the spell, hands moving steadily through the necessary motions. A glowing sphere forms between him and Ariane, shimmering briefly before it vanishes. "Alright, there we go." He takes her hand again, casts a healing spell on the bleeding finger.

"That's it?" Ariane questions, eyebrow rising as she looks at the mage.

"That's it," he confirms. "Once we reach the influence of the Lights of Arlathan, your blood will unveil them. But we have to be pretty close."

"Alright, this won't be weird at all," the warrior mutters. "Finding relics of my people using my blood to sniff them out. No, nothing unusual about that at all." She stuffs her hand back into her gauntlet and heads across the first bridge.

I glance down at Fade. "You ready for this, boy?"

He joyfully _wuffs_ an affirmative and bounds after Ariane.

**oOo**

We're ambushed by shrieks and deepstalkers before we're even across the first bridge. There aren't too many of them, even combined, so it doesn't take much to fight our way through them.

"Oh, there's one!" Finn points to a hazy white glow that emanates from the ground at the base of the bridge. "You just stand in the vortex, and you'll be able to see the magical energy being drawn toward the lights."

_I've done weirder things,_ I remind myself with a shrug as I step into the light. The world bleeds into soft-edged blue and purple hues, making it easy to notice the wisp like lights floating through the air. They're all heading for the same spot; an alcove carved into the side of a house.

"That way," I point as I step out of the glow. We almost lose Finn as we cover the short distance. He's _entranced_ by the carvings that cover the walls, the columns, the sconces with their still-burning torches.

"Hey, fussybritches, this way!" Ariane calls, a chiding laugh in her voice. Finn starts and scurries to catch up with us. "Enjoying the view?"

"Yes, well..." he coughs sheepishly. "It's just that I'd always thought dwarves not having magic mean they were, um, dull. But this place is _amazing_. How d'you think they kept the torches burning so long? Special fuel? An enchantment? Magical sconces?"

"Finn, _slow down_," I laugh. "Breathe. Focus. We're looking for the Lights of Arlathan. I think there's one in that alcove. How do we make them visible?"

"Right, errm..." He speaks the words of a spell and a pulse of energy ripples out. A small lantern appears in mid-air, right in the middle of the alcove.

"Well, there we go. Proof that it works," I comment reaching for the intricately wrought lantern. No sooner have I touched it than it drops into my grasp-just as a shimmering figure clad in Dalish armor materializes behind up.

"Oh, _guardian! __**That's **_what that word was!" Finn concludes, grip tightening on his staff even as Ariane charges past to engage with the spirit. It isn't _that_ difficult to beat; not with four on one odds.

"I wish we could talk to these ancient, question them, instead of killing them,: the warrior sighs as she sheathes her swords.

"That would be much better," Finn agrees, glancing at the lantern in my hand. "Let me see that... Interesting. The Lights of Arlathan are actually old lanterns. I didn't realize the statue was capable of being literal. Well, on to the next one."

There's just enough difficulty to this stage of things-deepstalkers, pockets of darkspawn, the elven guardians-that it quite handily distracts me from my claustrophobia. As does constantly having to reel Finn back in. The scholar in him keeps getting distracted by carvings or monuments or something, so Ariane and I keep dragging him back to the task at hand.

The warrior finally hits her limit when Finn's attention slips to a rune-covered plaque mid-fight. After dodging the misfired spell, she has to take out a trio of hurlocks single-handed, Fade and I preoccupied with fending off the alpha. "That does it," Ariane fumes, as I help her pop her dislocated shoulder back into joint. "I don't care how interesting it is down here, get distracted like that again and I swear I will slap you as hard as I can!"

Appropriately chastised, Finn pays much more diligent attention, and there are no more similar mishaps. Once we've obtained four of the Lights, the mage consults his notes and nods, as if confirming something he was already mostly sure of.

"Alright, we have the shard of the Eluvian, and enough of the Lights of Arlathan. Now all we need to do is scry for an unbroken mirror. I saw a suitable place for the ritual not far from here. Just back there, in fact." He points to a small clearing.

"Well, then, what are we waiting for?" I demand, leading the way. When we reach the spot, the mage kneels and gestures for me to hand him the lanterns I'm carrying. He arranges them in a circle and stands in the middle, holding the shard gingerly.

"Alright, you'll need to prepare yourselves," Finn cautions. "The ritual may attract unwanted attention. You'll have to protect me."

Ariane and I glance at each other as we draw our weapons and he begins the ritual, both of us wondering what kind of attention he means. The answer isn't long in coming., Only a few seconds after Finn starts the ritual, several shades materialize out of the ground.

_Ah. Makes sense._ I concede to myself. We're working with strong and not entirely understood magic here, it figures that it would attract this kind of attention. No matter. Ariane, Fade, and I each pick a target and take it down; maintaining a loose barrier between the shades and Finn. It gets gets tricky. Every time we defeat a shade, another rises to replace it.

Finally, however, Finn's spell reaches its crescendo and flares brilliant white, driving off the last of the shades.

"Well, that's done-" The mage's face goes white when he spots a tear halfway down the skirt of his robe from a shade I was just a tad too slow dispatching. "Oh, look. A rip. Am-Am I bleeding?! I'm suddenly feeling lightheaded..." He grabs at a nearby statue as his legs wobble.

Ariane grins. "What happened to _Ariane, give us your blood, who cares if it hurts?_" she asks playfully.

Finn shakes his head and straightens. "First, I never said _who cares if it hurts_-"

"It was implied," she interjects.

"Not intentionally," he fires back. "And this is _my_ blood. It's different. At least I managed to pinpoint another Eluvian," he rushes on when she looks ready to give sarcastic commentary. "It's in the Dragonbone Wastes."

"The _**Dragonebone Wastes?!**__"_ I repeat, part of me wanting to scream. All this trekking around, the almost-week in the Deep Roads, only to find what I'm seeking lies less than three days from the Vigil. _You have got to be kidding me..._

"Yes," Finn confirms, looking at me strangely. "The Tevinters probably moved it there to see if the dragon bones could enhance the Eluvian's power. Shall we?" he gestures toward a nearby exit back to the Deep Roads.

"We shall," I grumble stormily. _I hope Morrigan appreciates the lengths I'm going to for her..._

Probably not. But a girl can dream.

A/N: See? Told you, just one chapter in the Deep Roads, to minimize Rahna's struggle with claustrophobia. I'm glad the Witch Hunt arc isn't dragging out, cuz much as I'm enjoying writing Finn and Ariane bickering like five year olds on a road trip, and as fun as Rahna's conversation with Morrigan is going to be, I really want to get her back to the Vigil and get on with some of the other (original) stuff I'm planning to do with her and the rest of the Vigil gang. :3


	7. Cultists, Dragons & Creatures of Legend

7\. Cultists, Dragons, and Creatures of Legend

The journey to the Dragonbone Wastes is largely uneventful-barring my joyful and not entirely joking celebration when we emerge from Orzammar. There is no relief greater than to see the sky after a week of nothing but rock. The gate guards mutter something about surfacers, but I ignore it. The weather's nice, the roads are clear, and since Ariane and I aren't shy about making a plain show that we're armed, bandits leave us alone.

I glance forlornly at the distant silhouette of the Vigil as we pass within a few hours' travel of the place I've come to call home. Soon. Just a couple more days to wrap this up and I'll be back.

"You come from there?" Ariane asks, nodding at the fortress.

"Mmhm." I walk a silver between my fingers. "That's my garrison."

"You must have many friends there to look so homesick," she comments.

"I do," I confirm simply. _Not to mention a certain mage who's __**just a little**__ more than a friend..._

"So, these Wastes, how much further are they?" Finn cuts in in. "Because I'm pretty sure I'm getting a blister. Or maybe several."

"I _told_ you to make sure everything dried out after you stepped in that puddle," Ariane sighs. "But you _didn't_, and this is the consequence."

"Yes, yes, you were right," he waves her off. "All I'm asking is if we'll be stopping for the night soon, or if I should sit on this boulder here and do something about my poor feet."

I look up at the sun, calculate how much progress we'll be able to make, and then glance back at the mage. "We'll be going a couple hours yet. Take care of your blisters, but don't take too long."

"Oh, I won't," he assures me. And he doesn't. A quick and easy healing spell for each foot, and trading to _dry _shoes, and we're off once more. I'm a little skeptical of the wisdom of using magic to heal something so little, but Finn assures me the spell isn't taxing, and it's not going to negatively effect his usefulness.

It's nice enough not having to slow down for him that I deem his decision worth it. We get in our couple more hours traveling, then stop to camp for the night. The Vigil's disappeared from view by that point, but I still blow a kiss in the general direction of the fortress, my thoughts on the one person there who's more than a friend.

_I'll be home soon, love. Promise._

**oOo**

We cover the remaining distance to the Dragonbone Wastes quickly. The weather stays nice, which helps. And we're all very motivated. Finn can't stop talking about how amazing it'll be to find an actual, working Eluvian, Ariane's eager to see if she can get her clan's book back, and I, of course, want to find Morrigan.

And so, come evening, we stand at the mouth of a path edge in dragon skeletons, and I thank the Maker I can't sense any darkspawn. No Children. Any we didn't kill on my last visit to this charming place-which feels a lifetime ago-must've fled once The Architect and The Mother were both dead. That doesn't mean this is easy, however. Heaven forbid _anything_ in my life be easy. We've barely started down the path when we're attacked by a group of men and women who are poorly armed and not even armored at all. They go down easy.

"Cultists," I groan, recognizing the symbol etched into a necklace one of the women is wearing. "_Dragon _cultists."

"If they're all like this lot, they shouldn't be more than a nuisance," Ariane shrugs.

"They're not," I inform her. "They have Reavers, heavily armored warriors who fight harder the more heavily wounded they are, and if this group is anything like the last bunch I faced, they'll have young dragons, maybe a few drakes. Don't let your guard down. Not for a moment."

"Understood," she nods.

Sure enough, at the point where the path cuts though a valley between two hills, we come up against a group that includes two Reavers, a drake, a mage, and several dragonlings. Ariane curses under her breath, Finn gapes, and I pray for strength as we steel ourselves for the coming fight.

"Fade, with me," I murmur, and he barks happily as he follows me up the hill toward the mage. "Guard," I instruct, trusting him to deal with the pair of dragonlings that followed us up as I charge the mage. I remember enough to zigzag, but reach him quickly all the same. I dodge the ball of lightning he hurls at me, duck around behind him, and slit his throat with my dagger. He goes down with a choking gurgle and I return o Fade, dispatching the cultists who have joined the dragonlings while I was otherwise occupied.

Fade yelps in pain at the same instant I hear Ariane shriek. Being closer to Fade, I trust Finn to help Ariane and lunge for the young dragon that just bit my dog, burying sword and dagger both in the base of its neck.

"You alright, boy?" I ask, rubbing his ears, and Fade whines as he tries to twist around to lick his wounded shoulder. I choose to take that as meaning he's basically fine, and rush to help Ariane. I'm just a hair too late; she and Finn are finishing off the drake even as I reach ground level.

"That's the last one," the warrior pants, turning to face me. I wince at the deep, nasty gash that cuts along her cheekbone. "That bad, huh?"

"You should probably let me take a look at that..." Finn confirms.

She gingerly touches the gash. "Creators, no wonder it hurts..." A sideways glance at the dead drake. "Why in the world would anyone want to _worship_ those things?"

Finn shrugs, channeling magic to heal her face. "Dragons are big, powerful, and they breathe fire! Some people are easily impressed."

"Well, not me," she mutters, holding still while his spell does its work.

"Finn, can you get Fade, too?" I request. "One of the dragonlings bit him, and I don't want it getting infected or anything."

"Of course." It only take a moment for him to have the mabari good as new, and we continue on. We're only hassled by cultists a couple more times as we progress, so by the time we reach the familiar archway, we're still in pretty decent shape.

Which proves to be a good thing, because when we enter the wide open space beyond the arch, an angry, animalistic screech echoes through the air.

Ariane gasps when we locate the spindly legged silhouette perched atop the surrounding rocks. "It can't be..."

"Can't be what?" I hiss as the creature makes its way closer to the ground.

"A varterral. Elven legends, said to be rock and tree, wind and rain, given form and breath by the gods to protect their people." She stares. "I didn't think they were real..."

"Legendary elven protecters, hmm? Then why's it look like it wants to eat you?!" Finn demands.

Sure enough, the varterral is zeroing in on us like prey, screeching angrily as it launches itself into the air.

"Move!" I shove Finn into motion as I start running, and the four of us scatter. One of the giant pincer-legs still almost pins me, striking the ground so close I feel the exploding gravel ricochet off my armor. "Ariane, any ideas?!"

"Nothing beyond _don't die_, but that's trite and goes without saying, doesn't it?" she hollers back.

The varterral lets out another scream and leaps away, spitting poison or acid or something at us as it goes. We all scatter again, and I watch as Finn attempts to paralyze the beast. His spell isn't strong enough to do that, but it does slow the varterral enough that Ariane and I actually get a chance to damage it. Fade, however, can't do much, thanks to the creature's tough hide. Even our weapons are having a hard time causing damage. I wish fruitlessly that I still had Vigilance. That I hadn't lost it to the Crows back in Antiva. It would be a welcome help right about now. But I did lose it to the Crows, and I don't have it now, so I'll make do without it. This'll just take longer is all.

Slowly but surely, we chip away at this beast from elven legend, wearing it down, damaging its limbs until it teeters on just two of them. And then Finn casts an ice spell on one, which Ariane promptly strikes with enough force to shatter. The screeching varterral falls, high-pitched shrieks echoing and grating until Ariane silences it with a final swing of her sword.

It takes a minute for us to catch our breath, but fortunately none of us are injured beyond scrapes and bruises. Ariane's armor is pitted in places by whatever that thing kept spitting, but physically we're all fine. Once we've caught our breath and Finn has his mana back, we head into the ruined tower.

**oOo**

To my _vast_ relief, there isn't nearly the resistance I found last time I was here. In fact, there's none at all, unless the dozens of steps count. We make our way down the winding staircases, through the Childer tunnel-which still smells _awful_-past The Mother's skeletal remains, and down a hidden path Finn spots behind her.

Standing at the end, in front of a huge mirror that glows with a purple sheen, is Morrigan.

A/N: Sorry for breaking it there. My reasoning is part crazy week, part wanting a little more time to plot out the flow of the impending conversation. In Rahna's game, I had Morrigan's friendship all the way to 100 before she made her offer, so they both sort of view their parting as a betrayal of sorts. I'll explain further in the next chapter's a/n. This is not going to be an easy conversation, from either side. But it's one they need to have, so... /cracks knuckles NEXT WEEK


	8. Regrets

8\. Regrets

_"Do not be alarmed. 'Tis only I... I have a plan, you see. A way out. A loop in your hole." Morrigan's eyes flicker in the firelight as she turns and walks toward me. "I know what happens when the archdemon dies. That a Grey Warden must be sacrificed, that it may well be you."_

_"And you found a loophole in __**that**__?" I ask, eyebrow arched in blatant skepticism._

"_Indeed. I offer a way out for all three of you, that there need not_ _**be**__ a sacrifice."_

_My gaze flits toward the hall, where Alistair lingered to talk with Riordan. "What kind of way out? Running away? Alistair would never do that, and neither would I."_

_"No." She shakes her head, pauses. "A ritual. Performed on the eve of battle, in the dark of night."_

"_What sort of ritual?" I press, suspicious of the way she keeps stalling with details._

"_Old magic, from before the Circle." She hesitates again, swallowing her words and rephrasing._ "_**Some**__ of the more narrow minded might deem it blood magic, but that is only because they do not, __**cannot**__ understand it."_

_"So what, exactly, do you want?" I step further into the room to keep this private._

_"For the moment? Simply hear me out, my friend."_

_So I do. Even though my mind is made up before she's halfway done presenting her offer. "No."_

_Morrigan scowls. "No?!"_

_I let out a short, harsh laugh. "D'you honestly think Alistair will agree to this? To impregnating you with a _**_demon baby_**_? I can't-and _**_won't_**_-ask him to do that!"_

_"'Tis not-" she sighs and shifts to a new angle. "If you care for him as you seem to, you _**_must_**_. Should Riordan fall, do you think Alistair will hesitate? Would _**_you_**_?"_

_"Morrigan, I- Why are you even _**_offering _**_this?" I demand, fully aware she's right; neither of us would hesitate._

_"'Tis what my mother wanted, why she sent me with you in the first place. Though now I offer in not as a furthering of her ends, but because I cannot bear to watch you walk willingly toward what may be your demise. If you will not reconsider-" I shake my head- "Then here is where our ways part. Fare you well, my friend." She moves toward the door, biting off one last parting shot. "I hope you do not regret your choice..."_

**oOo**

I stand frozen at the head of the path, staring at the Eluvian and the witch who waits in front of it. The memories are overwhelming. _Wistful golden eyes, lips twisting in a slight smile as she calls me 'Sister'. A warm amber smile as calloused hands help me out of my armor, their owner kissing the back of my neck because he knows it turns me on like nobody's business._

"I think... she's expecting you," Ariane prompts, breaking my daze. I nod absently, walking forward in stiff-legged silence. "Remember to ask her about our book!" the Dalish warrior stage-whispers behind me.

My hands start shaking before I've covered even half of the distance, though whether from nerves, adrenaline, or something else entirely I'm not sure. Fade, however, has no qualms about barreling down the path with a joyful bark and greeting Morrigan with the requisite dancing, face-bathing, and tail-wagging. She seems happy enough to see him again, which is a good sign.

As I draw closer, however, she holds up a hand in warning. "Not one step more, or I am gone." She backs toward the shimmering Eluvian. "I have gone to great lengths to find and activate this portal. One false step on your part, and I shall be beyond your reach for good."

"I'm not here to to attack you!" I protest.

"I did not think you were," she replies sadly.

"I just want to talk," I explain. "Get some answers." _And closure on maybe the single biggest choice I made in my life..._

"Answers," the witch laughs. "We all want answers. I offered you a deal, you threw it in my face. What remains to be said?" Her eyes narrow. "Unless you have come to regret your decision?"

"I-" I grit my teeth against surging memories thick with emotion. _Not like it can be changed now..._"I did. Off and on for months after Denerim. For pragmatic reasons, for emotional, intensely personal and selfish ones, yes, I would suffer pangs of regret. There were nights that the loneliness mocked me to the point I _begged_ the Maker to turn back time and let me choose differently. But there was a question, one that nagged at the back of my mind on the bad nights, one I never figured a good answer to. And that one question was enough to keep me satisfied I made the right call: Why did you want the archdemon's soul?"

Something flits through her eyes before Morrigan crosses her arms. "Does it matter? You denied me, and survived even so. Well done."

The dry sarcasm grates on wounds I'd long thought healed. "Yes, I survived. Barely. Because _Alistair_ died in my place! Because the man I loved with every fiber of my being couldn't _bear_ the thought of living without me, and so made _me_ live without _him_!" Fire and blood and _sanest thing I've ever done _fill my mind.

"'Twas not my doing," Morrigan retorts. "I offered you a plan that would benefit us both, but you denied me, no doubt imagining some sinister plot." She shakes her head, looking almost sad. "My plans are not half so villainous as Chantry fear-mongering would assume. Whether you believe it or not, I offered because I... I wished to see you live. I _cared_."

"_Cared_?!" I repeat incredulously. "Then why did you betray me?"

"I did not betray you," she snaps, spine rigid and eyes flaring with indignation. "I left, just as I said I would. If any betraying was done, 'twas by _you_, not me."

"Betr- you _abandoned _me when I needed you! Friends don't do that!" I growl, hardly able to believe she actually _said_ that.

"No, you abandoned _me_!" She's bristling, just as angry as I am. "What I did was not done lightly! I needed you, and thought to help in return. But you refused me, and that was the end of it. So do not speak to me of betrayal!" She steps backwards, as if to leave in a huff.

"Wait!" My hand shoots out in an instinctive gesture I know is useless, but she does pause. "I just have one more question, something that's been bothering me for years now. Do you... have the ability to influence dreams?"

"Do I- _What_?!" She looks confused more than angry, which is a good thing.

"After we killed the archdemon, I had some strange dreams, I explain, raking my fingers through my hair. "You were there, sort of, acting as a guide down a 'what could have been' tangent."

"No, I possess no such ability," Morrigan frowns. "Who or whatever you saw, 'twas not I. Which begs the question; who was it?"

_And why did it choose to look like you? _I feel a chill dance up my spine. "I haven't had one in over a year, anyway. I only brought it up because I was curious."

She smiles slightly. "As always, my friend. Before I go, allow me to provide you a warning. 'Tis Flemeth you should beware of, not me. Hunt her, if you hunt anyone."

"Pretty sure I killed her for you already," I remind the witch. "Can't hunt what's dead."

She gives a dark smile. "And you think her truly _dead_? Alas, Warden, my mother is full of surprises. I thought I knew what she had planned. I thought what she craved was immortality. And yet I was wrong. So very wrong." Morrigan actually looks worried as she continues, "She is no blood mage, no abomination. She is not even truly human. You may have denied me the ritual, but that does not change what is to come."

"What are you talking about? What's going to happen?" I demand.

She gives an enigmatic smile. "Change is coming to the world, Warden. Many fear the change, and will fight it with every fiber of their being. But sometimes change is what they need most. Sometimes change is what sets them free."

Understanding hits me. "Is that what you want? To be free?"

"What I want..." She sighs, eyes sad. "What I want is unimportant now. I can tarry no longer. The time has come for me to go."

"Will I ever see you again?" I can't help asking as she turns to face the mirror.

"Not if you are fortunate," Morrigan replies, so quiet I barely hear her. She rests one hand against the surface of the mirror, then pauses, glancing back over her shoulder. "One last thing. I left you a gift." She nods towards the remains of a campsite. "The Dalish book is there, undamaged, and something you will find of great interest. Goodbye, my friend."

And with that, she's gone. Vanished through the Eluvian, which goes still and dead behind her.

**oOo**

I stare at the mirror for a few seconds after it's gone still before turning to approach the campsite. True to her word, the book Ariane is so desperate to retrieve lies there atop a second tome even thicker than some of Jowan's spellbooks. I flip open the "gift", but can't make heads or tails of half the terms on the pages, even though it's written in the King's Tongue. I page further back, but the handwriting changes-as does the language. A good chunk of this book is written in Tevene. I give up with a sigh. I'll see if Jowan can make anything out of it when I get back to the Vigil. I gather both book and leave. Ariane and Finn meet me halfway back up the path.

"Do you have it?" the warrior demands hopefully.

"Right here," I nod, handing her the green-bound volume. "Now let's go home."

A/N: Annnd there we go. Officially done with all the Origins canon DLC(I haven't played Golems of Amgarrek and don't plan to), so from here on out, everything plotwise will be all mine. :3 And boy, do I have some plans for my baby girl. And Jowan. And everybody. But for now, I shall leave you with this, and warn that I won't be posting a new chapter next week. Between the Jaws of Hakkon DLC for DAI, getting together with a friend, and Pillars of Eternity releasing this week(I've been waiting two years for this game, and it comes out on THURSDAYYYYYYY! :D wheeeeee I is excite), I'm just not gonna have time to write. But I shall return, and shall send Rahna and Co on more wonderful(read:dangerous and most likely angst-inducing) adventures.


	9. Ghosts

9\. Ghosts

I talk Finn and Ariane in to detouring to the Vigil before they continue on. Ariane is reluctant; she wants to return the book to her clan. But I point out it's a chance to resupply, make sure she can make it back to her clan. All it takes for Finn to agree are the words _Sleep in a real bed._ He's almost as eager to get back to the Circle as Ariane is to return to her people. But a chance to sleep somewhere more comfortable than the ground is impossible for him, at least, to refuse.

Properly motivated by promises of uninterrupted sleep and warm meals, we make very good time to my fortress. The guards see us coming and have the gate open by the time we reach it. I've barely made it through the archway, however, before I'm scooped up in a hug by a certain dark haired mage who apparently missed me a lot.

"Jowan!" My protest is muffled by his neck, my arms trapped at my sides as he hugs me tight.

"I missed you," he whispers, and I smile against his shirt.

"I missed you, too," I admit. "Now put me down so I can hug you proper." I maneuver one wrist so I can poke him in the ribs. He yelps and drops me the inch or two to the ground. I hug him tight before he can start griping, and _feel_ the chuckle vibrate through his chest. I give him an extra squeeze and then-reluctantly-step back because if I put off introductions any longer it'll be rude.

But when I turn around, Finn is staring, head cocked, eyes narrowed for a beat more before they widen in surprise. "You... They... The templars said you were dead."

Jowan and I trade knowing, amused smirks as I lean back until my shoulders rest against his chest.

"And I'm perfectly fine with them thinking that," he shrugs.

"They don't just _think_ it," Finn mutters, still looking like he's seen a ghost. "Barrett swore it. Solemn oath to the Knight-Commander that you were dead." He shakes his head. "D'you have any idea the fuss you'd cause if they _knew_?"

"Quite a lot, I expect," Jowan replies, snarky edge to his voice even as he rubs the back of his neck. "Considering Greagoir was calling for my execution the last time I saw him."

"Someone feel like filling me in, please?" Ariane chirps, brushing hair back out of her face.

"Sorry," I grimace apologetically. "Ariane, Jowan. Jowan, Ariane. Jowan's an apostate who fled the Circle because the Knight-Commander wanted- Well, first they were going to make him Tranquil, but then it got changed to straight up execution."

"Why?" she frowns.

"Blood magic was the popular rumor," Finn pipes up. "But that _is_ a sensational fallback, so I was never sure-"

"It was true," Jowan cuts him off, hands sliding over his scars until I catch one and interlace my fingers with his. "I only ever dabbled, but I did use blood magic."

"Oh." Finn looks surprised.

"_Anyway_," I begin, smoothly taking charge of the story again, "He fell in with me and a friend of mine, we faked his death, and long story short, he became a Grey Warden." I look up at Finn, my grip on Jowan's hand tight over scars. "Don't tell them, when you get back. Please."

Finn raises an eyebrow, looks Jowan up and down. His gaze lingers on our clasped hands. "Not like they can do anything to a Warden anyway."

I sigh in relief. "Thank you."

"So, d'you have any ghosts from my past tucked in a corner or a closet somewhere?" Ariane jokes.

I open my mouth to deny it with a smart comment, but then remember something she said back at the Circle. "That clan yours encountered, the one that lost hunters to the corrupted Eluvian, which one was that?"

"Sabrae..." she replies slowly, eyeing me with suspicion. "Creators, don't tell me..."

I just smile.

"Elgar'nan! You _must_ be joking!" She shakes her head in surprise.

"Nope. Now, it's just one of them," I clarify with some bemusement. "Jerin Mahariel. The other one died."

"Still, their Keeper figured they were both dead. Where...?"

I laugh and gesture for one of the guards to come over. "Leo, would you be so kind as to escort Ariane to Warden Mahariel's room?"

"Yes, Commander." He bows and turns to Ariane. "If you would follow me, m'lady?"

Eyebrow quirked and still looking like she doesn't more than half believe this is happening, Ariane follows him.

I turn back to Finn, biting back a laugh at the way he keep glancing at Jowan, like he can't believe he's actually _real_. _Bringing them here was good for entertainment value, if nothing else..._ "Let's head inside."

"Huh? Oh, sure," Finn mumbles as he follows me and Jowan inside.

"I think you broke him," I whisper to Jowan.

He snorts a barely-contained laugh. "Behave."

"But that's less fun," I pout.

"_Rahna_. Be nice to the man."

"Oh, fine." This is going to be _very_ fun.

**oOo**

Her hand felt good in his. Part of him wanted to never let go. But the part that wanted to talk to Finn without Rahna around to play protective girlfriend was stronger. So Jowan reluctantly loosened his grip and volunteered to show Finn to one of the guest rooms.

"You sure?" Rahna frowned.

"Yeah." He gave her a teasing smile. "It'll give you a chance to catch up with Varel."

She snorted. "To let him strangle me, ya mean?"

"He wouldn't do that." It was a struggle to keep a straight face. "Besides, as murder methods go, poison strikes me as much more fitting for an arl. So just don't drink anything he offers you, and you should be good."

Her eyes narrowed. "I hate you. So much."

"No, you don't." He stole a kiss. "Go."

Rahna huffs a frustrated sigh through her nose. "Fine. IF he kills me, it's your fault, and Sig gets all my stuff."

Still, he caught the tail end of a grin as she turned away.

"So, I'm assuming you two are... involved," Finn commented dryly, following Jowan down the hallway.

"What gave it away, the kiss, or the leaping to my defense?"

"Considering I know at least one other person who would defend you just as vehemently with no romantic motivation necessary, I'll go with the kiss. Or the way you two were acting like your hands were glued together for a while there." They were both quiet for a moment, before something occurred to Finn. "Speaking of Miri, she's a Grey Warden too, isn't she?"

It was Jowan's turn to arch an eyebrow in surprise. "Yes. How did you know that?"

"Never underestimate the tower's gossip mill," Finn smiled thinly. "I don't suppose she's here too, by any chance?"

_Ah._ Jowan shook his head. "No, she's... somewhere in the Free Marches. She's happy, though. Well, happy as anyone can be in the Wardens," he corrected himself, turning down another hallway. "She never caught on, y'know. That you were sweet on her."

Finn actually flinched. "It was an ill-advised, hormone-driven childhood crush on one of the few people who was smarter than I was, so... good."

_Mm-hm. That's why you remembered a three year old rumor about her and thought to __**ask**__. _But Jowan heard the 'leave it' in the other mage's voice and changed the subject. "Anyone in the tower even remember me anymore?"

Finn coughed, lips twitching slightly. "Well, there was the typical 'See what apostasy gets you' speech. They do love their examples..." He hesitated.

Jowan raised an eyebrow as he pushed open a door. "And? That pause makes me think there's more."

Finn rubbed the back of his neck. "Um, you... uh, you name's become slang in the tower."

The eyebrow went even higher. "Do I want to know what for?"

"Couple different things, actually," the Circle mage admitted, stepping into the room and leaning his staff against the wall. "If you use it as a noun, it means _a dangerous plan with little or no chance of success_, whereas the verb form is to bugger something up despite the best of intentions." He coughed sheepishly again. "Technically, the first one's a bit of a misnomer."

Jowan laughed. It was really his only course of action, aside from going off to hide and brood over how much of a screw-up he'd been. "Can't wait to see Miri again. She'll never believe I'm famous. Or, well, infamous."

Finn shot him a surprised look. "You're taking it well."

"What can I say," Jowan shrugged. "They both fit. I do have this nasty habit of messing things up despite my best intentions, whether it's trusting the wrong people or not thinking things through. And my 'plan' to escape the tower _was_ dangerous with only minimal chances of actually succeeding."

"But it _did_ succeed," Finn pointed out.

"I got very, very lucky and very, very desperate at the same time," Jowan brushed it off. "Wound up making the two people I cared about most suffer for my stupidity, which I'll never stop regretting." He sighed, shook off the memories. "Anyway, this is your room, but feel free to wander if y'like once you're settled in. Just don't get lost."

"That happens a lot?"

"Only with Rahna. She's so bad with directions, she gets lost in her own fortress," Jowan replied with amusement. "And speaking of Rahna, I should probably make sure she survived her conversation with Varel..." With a nod of farewell, he exited and headed off in search of the elf.

**oOo**

All joking with Jowan aside, I'm feeling more guilty about the potential stress I dumped on Varel with the arl title than anything the man might do to me. But arlessa duties on top of Commander of the Grey ones was just too much for one person, and I can't do anything about being a Warden. Plus, my top choices for who'd I'd pass the Commander title to have all expressed extreme displeasure with the idea. Sigrun straight up threatened to leave if I passed it to her.

Besides, the amount of advising Varel did while I was arlessa, it was pretty much just a formality. He still wasn't overjoyed.

I rap my knuckles against the doorframe of his office. "Paperwork killed you yet?"

Varel's head snaps up and he glowers. "Not for want of trying. Are you certain this... promotion wasn't punishment of some kind, Commander?"

I laugh. "I'm sure. So, how're we doin'?"

"Rather well," he concedes, motioning for me to have a seat. "Few bandit gangs starting back up, but nothing the guards can't handle."

"Nate still in the city?" I ask, grinning because I know what the answer will be.

"Of course. He should be back any day, though."

We share a knowing look as I settle in the chair and tent my fingers. "Well, then, catch me up on anything else I should know about..."

And over the next half hour or so, that's exactly what he does.

A/N:I went back and forth so many times on whether or not to have Finn and Ariane come back to the Vigil, it's somewhat ridiculous. I even start writing the chapter with them going their own way, but it felt wrong, so I restarted it this way. I do have to admit a huge part of why was the idea of Finn and Jowan interacting. And _that_ was every bit as glorious as I could've hoped for. Though I didn't plan for Finn to have crush on Miri. It just... happened. And I liked it, so I left it.

Also, yes, Rahna stepped down from being arl and passed that to Varel. Pretty much just for the reasons in the chapter; too much responsibility for her to handle. She'd been delegating for months and still feeling overwhelmed(and knows Wardens are really supposed to hold political positions...), so she sort of went "Happy [insert holiday], Varel, you're arl now" :D He grumbles, but he's also good at it. And he likes being able to help the people of the arling. But it really boils down to me going BECAUSE I CAN, THAT'S WHY.

Mmm... last thing, everyone remembers why Nate's making *cough* frequent trips to the city, right? :3 It's about 30% visiting Delilah and his nephew, and 70% Vi Henley(these are Delilah Howe approved percentages, btw. No one ships Nate &amp; Vi like Delilah. NO ONE. Not even me).


	10. Missed You

10\. Missed You

After finishing with Varel, I make my usual 'rounds' to check in on the other Wardens, at least the ones who are here. Aside from Nathaniel, Declan's out patrolling with Sigrun and a couple of the new Wardens Weisshaupt sent us. Apparently, the First Warden is concerned about me commanding a sub-par garrison or something. So he sent an additional four-person team. Just in case. I guess we're still close enough to the Blight for stragglers to be a _concern_, but I'm not sure I needed a whole new team. Still, he's the boss, so all I could do was shrug and welcome them. They're all pleasant enough people, and they get along well with the rest of us, I just wonder if there's another garrison that got cheated out of something it needed when they were sent here.

My rounds don't take long; just quickly popping into rooms to let people know I'm back and make sure everything is okay with all of them. I'm only mildly surprised when Jerin's not in his room, and even _that_ only lasts until I check the library. He and Velanna and Ariane are all grouped around a desk, chattering in elvish as they discuss a familiar and very broken-in journal. I smile to myself, because of _course_ the book of stories came up, Jerin finds a way to work in into almost _any_ conversation, he's so _proud_ of what Velanna's done with it. And Ariane definitely seems appreciative, so I leave them to their conversation and continue on.

After I've talked to, or at least seen, all my Wardens, I head to the infirmary to see if I can find Mal. Neither he nor Brandel were in his room, so the infirmary is the most likely next place to find him. Sure enough, he's there, curly brown hair tied back from his face as he shreds elfroot. Brandel is, as always, curled up on top of Mal's feet.

Elf and mabari both raise their heads at the sound of my footsteps. "Welcome back," Mal greets me, grin creasing his face.

I've long since given up trying to figure out how he tells people apart based off of their footsteps, so I just thank him. "You doin' alright?"

"Aye. Y' weren't gone _tha'_ long, Rahna. And th' extent a' my troubles is still this lout-" he nudges Brandel with one ankle-"thinkin' he's still small enough tae not crush m' feet."

The mabari whines and licks Mal's leg, making the mage chuckle.

"Ah, I still love ya, y' daft beast." He reaches down and scratches between Brandel's ears. "I just wish you would lay elsewhere." Brandel just huffs at that and curls more tightly atop the mage's feet.

"Doesn't look like he has any intention of changin' his ways," I laugh apologetically.

"Aye, you're probably right." Mal's grin is back, if a touch rueful, crinkling the edges of clouded eyes. "Though he's a little young for old dogs and new tricks to apply."

"True. There may be hope for him yet. But I won't distract you any longer."

"Ah, you're not a distraction," he assures me.

"Enh, I do have other things that need doing, though, so I'll be on my way." I back out of the doorway. "You two have fun now."

Mal laughs. "We'll try. Good luck with the rest a' your day, Rahna."

"Thanks."

**oOo**

By the time I've finished all my 'Commanderly' duties, I don't feel mentally up to eating dinner in the main hall with everyone else. There's a slight twinge of bad hostess guilt as I collect my share of the meal from Cook, but I _cannot_ eat in the loud and chattery dining hall tonight. I trust both my Wardens and the Vigil soldiers to make Finn and Ariane feel welcome.

And so, food in hand, I retreat to my room. The people I'm in the mood to talk to know where to find me. However, I can't say I mind when I get almost all the way through my meal before I'm interrupted by the rap of knuckles against my door. "You can come in," I mumble though my last bite of shepherd's pie.

Jowan enters, closes the door behind him and leans against it. "Missed you at dinner."

I swallow my food and tease, "More than you did over the past three weeks?"

He snorts and crosses the room to join me on the window seat. "I know part of your reason for going after your friend alone was to help with keeping us from becoming one of those clingy couple who have to keep each other within arm's reach, but I feel like that, um, may have backfired just a little."

"Oh, yeah?" I set my empty dishes on the floor and hug my knees into my chest.

"Mm-hm. 'Cause now I never want to let you out of my sight again. Or at least not for a very long time."

I rest my chin on my knees. "Why? None of us even got seriously injured-which is a minor miracle with me involved." I grin at him. "No brushes with death."

"I'm so relieved," he deadpans, scooting closer. "I just... missed having you around is all. Life's really boring without you."

"Aw, thanks. Even with Sigrun here?" I shuffle closer to him.

"Even with Sigrun here," he confirms, nudging me with his shoulder.

I chuckle. "See this is the part where, in one of said dwarf's trashy romance novels, we would confess our undying love, blah blah blah. Since we've already _done_ that part, can we skip straight to the kiss? Cuz I missed you somethin' awful, too."

Jowan shakes his head, laughing hard enough he can barely get the words out. "You are too much, Rahna."

"It's part of my charm," I grin. "Just kiss me."

"Yes'm," he snarks, one hand curving around the back of my neck as he obeys.

I lightly swat his shoulder before my fingers move to tangle in his hair. "Mmm... you know I love you, right?"

"Thought we were skipping the confession," he teases, forehead resting against mine.

"Yes, skip. As in, reordering so the kiss comes first," I shoot back, shifting to tuck my legs under me.

"Ah. Well, in that case, I love you, too."

"I know," I whisper impishly before stealing another kiss. One that winds up far deeper and longer than I intended-not that I'm complaining-and before I'm entirely aware what's happening, I've moved from sitting next to Jowan to sitting in his lap. And then straddling him, both of us with fingers dug into each other's hair. We're a pair of right messes when we finally separate, flushed and disheveled and breathing hard as I rest my forehead against his. "Jowan?"

"Mm?" He sounds dazed and equally breathless, which makes me grin.

"If this is gonna go where I think it is-" _Where certain parts of me definitely __**want**__ it to_-"wouldn't the bed be more comfortable?"

Jowan's eyes instantly sharpen into focus and he turns an even deeper shade of red. "I-I wasn't trying to- I mean, we can i-if you want, but..." He stops himself, worries his bottom lip. "Do you?"

In answer, I straighten, peel off my shirt in one-mostly-smooth motion, and lob it to the far corners of the room before kissing him again, teasing his lower lip with my teeth as I pull back and whisper, "Maker, _yes_. ...If it's what you want."

He nods, pushing himself into a more upright position without breaking the kiss for more than a fraction of a second.

The distance between the window seat and the bed is giggle-inducing awkward, because we don't particularly want to stop kissing, so between the height difference and trying to remove the rest of our clothes, we nearly trip over each other multiple times.

"Sorry," Jowan mumbles when we finally tumble onto the bed.

"Nothin' t' be sorry about," I assure him, grinning as I press close for yet another kiss. I leave the rest unspoken._I always did like a man who could make me laugh._..

**oOo**

I wake the following morning to Jowan pressed close against my back, and grin into my pillow. _So it wasn't just a very good dream._

The mage mumbles something in his sleep and the arm draped around my shoulders tightens its grip. I rub my fingers up and down his forearm, tracing the one scar I've never asked about and he's never really explained. But I don't need an abundance of details to know that any situation where someone got close enough to a _mage_ to cause a wound like that must've been _**bad**__._ So I'm pretty sure I don't want all the details. It was bad, bad enough he doesn't want to talk about it, and I'm going to leave it at that.

I glance toward the window, estimate the time by how bright it looks, and conclude with extreme reluctance that I should probably get up. "I'd rather just stay here forever," I whisper to the sheets. But I can't. I know I can't. Even without the arlessa side of my duties to worry about anymore, being Commander of the Grey gives me enough to do than an early start is a good idea.

And so I wriggle out from under Jowan's arm and the sheets, shiver a little at the morning chill, and pull on the first article of clothing I can get my hands on-Jowan's shirt. It hangs almost to my knees and the sleeves are entirely too long, but it's _comfortable_. So I pull on my smalls underneath and head down to the kitchen, praying it's still early enough that no one else will be up.

**oOo**

To my immense relief, I don't encounter a living soul outside of the lone cook's assistant who apparently drew the short straw and is starting breakfast preparations. I nod good morning as I prepare two cups of tea, complete with biscuits to nibble on as I dig into the pile of letters waiting on my desk. _But first..._ I detour back to my room, find pants, and leave one of the cups of tea for Jowan. All I get when I nudge him is a mumbled, "Rahna, j'st lemme sleep...", so I grin, tuck a note under the saucer, and pray it's still warm when he wakes up.

**oOo**

Fortunately, most of the letters are just reports, whether from other bases or my own Wardens from their patrols, and none really demand action. I finish far sooner than anticipated, and take my breakfast up to the wall to eat, as equal part reward and keeping an eye out for the people who are still out of the keep.

Despite the fact it's exactly what I'm looking for, I'm still mildly surprised when I catch sight of a lone figure returning from the city. Nathaniel's been taking serious advantage of the relative peace over the last several months and visiting the city for increasingly longer periods of time. Even though Varel told me he'd be back any day, I was anticipating it being more like a week before we saw hide or hair of our resident archer.

So, of course, I intercept him just after he passes through the gate. "Welcome back."

He gives me a wry smile. "I could say the same to you, Rahna."

"Very true," I laugh. "So how are things going in the city?"

Nate sighs, but indulges my curiosity as we walk toward the keep. "Rather well, actually. Delilah and Albert have the new store built, so now they're focusing on stocking it, Eli is healthy, though both my sister and Violet spoil him rotten. Vi's working in Albert's store for now, she said yes, and since they've almost finished rebuilding the houses-"

"Wait a minute, what was that last one?" I demand, stopping in my tracks and grabbing his arm so he stops too.

Nathaniel's already grinning. "She'll have her own place to live soon, because they've-"

"Nathaniel Howe, I _meant_ the one before that, and _you know it_," I growl, crossing my arms.

"Ahh. _She said yes_, you mean?" He's toying with me, and I could strangle him for it.

"Yes, that. Yes to _what_?!" I think I know the answer, but I want to hear it from him.

He just grins even wider-which I wouldn't think possible-and flips open the empty ring box from his belt pouch.

A/N:So, yeah, a lot happened in_ that_ chapter. And there's some big changes coming... XD Someday, I would love to write a 'Courtship of Violet Henley' type thing and go more into the details of her and Nathaniel's romance, because the cute little snippets that find their way into Rahna's story really are just the tip of the iceberg. They both favor the 'Flirting disguised as polite conversation' trick, and neither one's shy about how they feel. (Delilah has many stories she could tell :3)

And then there's Rahna and Jowan. I've been plotting that scene and where best to insert it for far longer than I should probably admit. But, as always, I had to wait for the characters to be ready. (Fortunately, the only deadlines you have to worry about with fanfic are the self-imposed kind)


	11. Technically

11\. Technically

I stare at the grinning archer for a long moment, trying to decide which of the burning questions to ask first, and finally settle on one as Nathaniel's grin starts to shift into a smirk. "So...if she said yes, why do you have the ring box?"

He chuckles as he tucks it back in its former hiding place. "I jokingly commented that no one was going to believe I'd finally 'taken the leap', as it were, and Violet handed me the box and said _'Here. Some proof'_. I'll take it back to her, of course. The next time I visit."

"So you two... talked through everything important?" I ask, remembering the reservations he'd had about pursuing a relationship with Vi Henley. Or just a relationship, in general.

He nods. "Everything we could that was relevant. And the fact that there were some things we _couldn't_."

"And you're both okay with all that...?" I press gently as we resume walking.

"Mm-hm. Rahna, I wouldn't even have asked if I had the slightest doubts she meant it," Nathaniel promises.

"Just lookin' out for you." I grin and lightly slug his arm. "So... you're _engaged_. How did Delilah react?"

Nate laughs. "Exactly the way you would expect her to. Hugs, kisses, shrieks of joy... she actually woke Eli and had to leave the room for a few minutes to rock him back to sleep. But she was _very_ excited."

My grin widens. "Can't blame her. Congratulations."

"Thank you," he nods, then hesitates. "Rahna, would you mind sitting on this news for a while? I would really like to get cleaned up, maybe sleep in my own bed for a couple of hours, before I share it with everyone."

"Of course," I nod. "I won't breathe a word. It's _your_ news; I would wouldn't dream of stealing your thunder."

"I appreciate it. So, you know where to find me if a crisis should arise that simply _demands_ my attention, otherwise-"

"Do not disturb," I finish for him. "Get some rest, Nate."

"Yes, ser." He mock-salutes with a tired smile and heads down the hallway to his room.

I watch him go, knowing I'll have no trouble keeping his secret. I want to see the look on Sigrun's face when she hears _I_ won this pot.

In the meantime, I peek in my room again and grin at the sight of Jowan, still dead to the world and mumbling in his sleep. I stand there for a minute, watching him, and mentally debate whether I should try to wake him up or not. The morning _is_ getting on, but we didn't actually go to sleep until pretty late last night.

_Can't hurt to try,_ the optimistic part of my brain encourages. _Just poke him a bit, and see if he moves. If not, no harm done._

So I saunter across the room until I'm standing next to the bed. "Jowan..." I flick his hair out of the way so I can run a finger in zigzags down his spine.

The muscles shiver under my light touch, but otherwise I don't get a response. So I gently tickle the bottom of the foot poking out from underneath the blankets, which earns me some mumbled comment or plea as he yanks it back under the covers.

Okay. He's still really tired. I make an executive decision to let him sleep, and decide to go walk circles around the walltop to burn off some of my excess energy.

**oOo**

It's on my third or fourth loop of the wall-I haven't really been keeping track-that I spot the returning Wardens. I head down to ground level so I can greet them. From what I can see at this distance, they're all tired, but there's no indication anything went horribly wrong, which pulls a sigh of relief from me. This is really not the sort of day I want soured with bad news.

"You're back!" Sigrun greets me cheerily, wrapping me in a hug that could crack ribs. "Find your friend?"

I grin and work an arm free so I can hug her back. "Yes, I did. And we... aired our grievances, talked things over. There are some wounds I don't think will ever fully heal, but things are better."

"Good." She nods emphatically as she lets go and steps back. "Wait..." Blue eyes narrow suspiciously. "That's not your shirt... That's a _man's_ shirt..."

I try to shrug her off, suddenly very aware of the shoulder seams rubbing against my upper arms. "You know I use some of Alistair's old shirts to sleep in. I was just too lazy to find one of my own this morning." Technically, both of those sentences are true. Technically.

Unfortunately for me, Sigrun is not buying _technically_. "Yeah, but you cut off the sleeves from all of those. So you weren't constantly rolling them up." She gives me a knowing, triumphant grin. "And I seem to recall Jowan wearing it when we left..."

I frown in confusion. "How short a patrol was this? He was-" I snap my mouth shut. _...Wearing it yesterday. _ That little _minx_. If Zev were here, he'd be _applauding_ her.

The Legionnaire's grin widens as the other walk through the gate. "So that _is_ Jowan's shirt?"

I sigh, knowing when I'm beat. "Yes..."

"Does this mean what I think it means?"

"Depends," I dodge. "What do you think it means?"

"C'mon, boss." Sigrun shoots me a look. "That a certain mage gave you a welcome home you're not likely to forget anytime soon. That you two _finally_ knocked boots. Y'know, all the things I've been teasing you about for _months_, that you've always denied. 'Til now."

"I... Yes, it means what you think it means."

"Ha, I _knew_ it!" she crows, and wheels to face Declan. "Pay up, Pretty Boy."

I shake my head as I watch the warrior pass over a small handful of silvers to the grinning dwarf. "You two are unbelievable. Is nothing sacred?"

Sigrun snorts, raising an eyebrow at me as she pockets her winnings. "Says the woman who start the pool on when Nathaniel is gonna propose to the Henley girl."

_Started and __**won**__,_ _thank you very much,_ I correct mentally, but I promised Nate, so I don't say the words aloud. "You got me there," I shrug, turning to Declan. "So, how'd the patrol go?"

"Didn't really see anything worth worryin' abou'," the warrior replies with a shrug. "Arrik spotted a couple tunnels, but they looked pretty well out a' use, an' none a' us could sense any darkspawn, so I don't think they'll be a problem."

"I still think we should keep an eye on them," the aforementioned elf mutters, tugging a little at his dirty blond hair. "We may not have sensed darkspawn, but they still gave me a bad feeling..."

"Oh, aye, we will," Declan agrees. "I've learned to trust rogue instincts. I just meant I don't see th' darkspawn bein' a problem again. At least no' for a while."

"And the rest of you agree?" I look at the other three.

"Yep," Sigrun nods. "We get anything outta those holes, it'll be deepstalkers or bandits who're stupid enough to think they'd make a great base for sneak attacks. Y'know, something like that."

Arrik's also nodding in agreement. "We're not likely to get darkspawn out of the, Commander. Just common, everyday sorts of threats." He smirks a little. "Bandits, wildlife, the usual."

I turn to the last-and, as usual, silent-member of the team. "What about you, Sable? Do you think Declan is right?"

The mage nods, brushing hair out of her face.

"Alright, then. Team leader, I'll need a report on my desk by tomorrow-" I shoot Declan a grin, knowing how much he _loves_ paperwork- "but it can be just basics. For record-keeping posterity. And you can get some rest first."

"Generous a' you," he deadpans, watching Sigrun and Arrik race for the main keep.

"I'm a giver," I retort playfully, lightly punching his arm. When he holds back until Sable's gone inside, too, _that's_ when I look at him quizzically. "Something wrong?"

"Aye," he nods, letting out a slow, heavy sigh. "Sable. Her nightmares are gettin' worse again. An' no' th' Warden ones."

"Oh, _bugger," _I huff out a sigh of my own. "Just while you were on your patrol, or before that?"

"B'fore. Tarin's been tryin' tae help her, but there's only so much he can do."

"Alright..." I click my tongue as I play with a loose lock of hair, trying to work out the best way to handle this. "Last time wasn't much over a week, right?"

"You want tae just wait them out?" Declan stares at me like I'm crazy. "With how badly they affect her?"

"No, just tryin' to figure where we are in the progression," I assure him, glad to see him getting protective of the new Wardens just like he is with everyone else.

"Gettin' pretty close tae th' _screamin' banshee_ stage, actually, if last time is any guide."

"Maker. Tell 'Rin to keep trying. Maybe he'll have better luck this time."

Declan nods, but we share a look that says _And maybe pigs will sprout wings_ as he heads inside.

**oOo**

Satisfied that all my Wardens are back where they belong, I return to my room This time, when I walk through the door, Jowan's awake, but still sitting in bed, blankets pooling in his lap as he drinks his tea. Which, somehow, has steam rising from the top.

"There is _no sodding way_ that is still warm," I comment as I cross to the bed and lean against one of the posts.

Jowan grins at me and wiggles the fingers on one hand. "Fire spells are wonderfully useful if you know what you're doing. And isn't that my shirt?"

"Yep," I confirm. "It was easier to find than mine this morning, so I borrowed it. And I haven't given it back yet 'cause it's really comfy."

"There's a reason it's one of my favorites, Rahna," he points out, grinning.

"Obviously." I tuck my thumbs under the belt I cinched over the shirt. "You ever planning to get out of bed?"

"I was actually. Soon as I found my clothes," the mage teases, with a pointed look at my outfit.

"So we found your shirt..." I play along, circling the bed and bending to scoop up the next thing off the floor. "...and here's your pants. Time to get up."

Jowan laughs, setting aside his tea as he acquiesces. "Rahna, I really will need my shirt."

I give him a once-over as he stands there in just his trousers and bare feet, hair still loosed from its ponytail, and all I can think is, _No, y'don't._ But I know how self-conscious he can be about his scars, so all I say is "You _sure_?"

"Yes, I'm sure, you little minx," he grins as he pulls his hair back. "I don't get it back from you now, I may never see it again."

"Drat, you're on to me," I mock-pout as I undo my belt and strip off the shirt to hand back to him, claiming a kiss in payment.

"Mmm... Rahna?" Jowan whispers roughly as I drop back flat-footed.

"Yeah?"

"Now _you_ need a shirt, or we're gonna wind up right back in that bed..."

I laugh and tug him down for one last quick kiss before crossing to my armoire and pulling out a dark red shirt to wriggle into hastily. Good as that idea may sound to me, it's a no-go thanks to the whole Commander thing. So instead I head back downstairs with Jowan right behind me. Facing the rest of my day with him for moral support will have to do.

But I'm okay with that.

A/N:So, few more details on a few more things, got all the Wardens who belong at the Vigil back home. We'll have to wait til next week to say goodbye to Finn and Ariane(no, I didn't forget about them xD), better meet the new Wardens, and see Sigrun's reaction to Nate's news. THAT is going to be GLORIOUS. I can't wait.


	12. The Scenic Route

12\. The Scenic Route

We run into Sigrun in the hallway. She takes one look at Jowan back in his shirt and me changed into a different one and just _grins_.

"Oh_, __**no**__,_" Jowan groans once the dwarf is out of earshot. "She knows, doesn't she?"

"Uh-huh," I nod. "Took her roughly two seconds upon seeing me in your shirt."

"See? Y' shouldn't have borrowed it. Now she's going to tease, and drop innuendo, and-"

"-basically behave like Zevran?" I supply.

He groans again, louder this time. "Maker, _no_."

"Sorry, love. We're the juiciest subject for gossip right now. Just hafta deal with it," I laugh, squeezing his hand as we head for the dining hall. _Only 'til Nate distracts them..._ I know I thought I could keep this secret of his , but it keeps popping into my brain every three seconds. Not letting it slip is going to be agony. _You promised one of your __**best friends**__ you could keep you mouth shut,_ I scold myself. _So do it_.

"You alright?"

"Huh?" I look up at Jowan.

"You went quiet for a minute," he elaborates. "And you don't usually do that mid-conversation."

"Oh, yeah, I'm fine. Just wishing Declan would flirt back with one of the militia girls, or Lucy would hit on somebody, or _something_, because I very much doubt that Sig managed to keep this new knowledge to herself, and I don't want to be the center of attention any more than you do."

"Well, we'll just have to grin and bear it, I guess," he sighs. "Until someone outdoes us, at least. Hope it's soon."

"Heh, ditto," I chuckle, fighting a smirk.

**oOo**

Jowan raises an eyebrow when I snag a share of food right along with him. "You haven't eaten yet? Seriously?"

"No, I did," I shrug, licking honey off my fingers. "It's the pesky Warden appetite. I'm _always_ hungry. How come it didn't hit you this hard?"

He laughs at my grumbling. "Rahna, you didn't know me back at the Circle. Trust me, it hit plenty hard. Just 'cause I don't gobble up everything on my plate..." he teases.

I glare and bump him with my hip. "You callin' me a pig?"

"Oh, never, _boss_, I wouldn't dare," he deadpans as we head toward a table.

"I am going to hurt you," I huff, shifting course slightly so we join Ariane and Finn at their table instead.

"Mm, sure you will," Jowan smirks, knowing I rarely follow through on such threats.

Just for that, I bop him lightly on the head before I sit down. "Respect the boss."

"Yes, boss," he teases, and I barely resist the urge to kick him under the table. I did sort of walk into that.

"Well, you two certainly seem to be in a good mood this morning," Finn comments, one brow raised.

I cling desperately to my composure as I nod. "I did, thanks. Sorry for pretty much vanishing after we arrived yesterday. A commander's work is never done and all that. Did you two manage to occupy yourselves...?"

Ariane nods eagerly. "Oh, yes. Jerin and Velanna showed me the book she's been working on, with all the Dalish legends in talked about some of the minor variations between our clan's versions, and I promised Jerin I'd tell Marethari he's alive and mostly well next time our clans cross paths. He's totally smitten, but well."

"How 'bout you, Finn? Didja find the library?" I grin and press closer to Jowan as a silent thank you when he tears his sweet roll in two and gives me the bigger part.

"As a matter of fact I did," Finn replies. "But then I encountered some of your guardsmen and got... rather distracted listening to their stories."

"Oh, really_?"_ I raise an eyebrow as I take a bite of my breakfast. "Who'd you find?"

"Your, er, guard-captain and a pair of his friends, Alec and... Esther, I believe her name was."

"Ah, say no more," I laugh. Between Cor being here for both darkspawn attacks, Alec's stories of driving off the monsters when he was but a shepherd, and Esther's tales from patrolling the roads, the three of them together make for very interesting company. "So, which did they tell? Cor helpin' to save Varel's life? Alec fending off darkspawn with just a flaming pitchfork? Or Esther's encounter with the Sons of Korth?"

"Those all sound fascinating, but I actually didn't hear any of them," Finn admits. "Alec told one involving himself, his sister, and chasing off a bear, and then Esther had a doozy from before she joined your militia."

"The elven ruins her adventuring company found? That's a popular one," I nod. "I take it you enjoyed their stories?"

"Quite a bit," Ariane interjects dryly. "So much that he doesn't want to go back to the Circle anymore."

_"__**What?!**__"_ _Both_ my eyebrows arch, and I can sense Jowan's surprise as well.

"That's not what I-" Finn sighs heavily. "All I did was ask if we could maybe take a more... scenic route on our return trip. It's not like I want to form an adventuring company of our own or anything."

"Considering you _faint_ at the sight of your own blood, probably a good thing," Ariane ribs, grinning at him.

"Well, that was uncalled for," he grouses, but I can see the smile tugging at his lips.

"Whatever you two decided to do, I hope you have a safe trip," I offer around a mouthful of food.

"So do I," mage and Dalish concur at the same time.

The rest of our conversation devolves into typical mealtime chatter, but I can see the glint in Finn's eyes. He's really looking forward to The Scenic Route. Esther must've done a very good job telling her story.

**oOo**

Finn and Ariane leave an hour or so after breakfast, the Dalish warrior hold a map with three different scenic routes marked on it. I know she wants to get the book back to her clan, but even she's admitted it's safe with her and not something her people need for daily life or anything. And Finn keeps all but begging her to take their time. At this rate, he'll annoy her into agreement if nothing else.

"Ten silvers says he never makes it back to the tower," Jowan chuckles, wrapping an arm around my shoulders as I lean back against him.

I laugh, reaching up to link my fingers between his. "That's a rather confident wager for someone who didn't see the man's reaction to _mud_. Or mosquitoes. Or sweat."

"Maybe, but it's a rather cautious one for someone who grew up with him and can tell something's different now," he counters as we watch the two figures shrink in the distance, already not on the most direct path to Kinloch Hold.

"Touché," I concede, giggling. "and in that light, I don't think I'll be taking that bet."

"Drat. Overplayed my hand."

I grin and squeeze his hand. "Not like it would easy to verify, anyway. I'm sure we can find better things to bet on than whether Florian Phineas Horatio Aldebrante, _esquire_ makes it back to the Circle."

"You remembered the 'esquire', good job," Jowan teases, turning us to head back inside.

"I was afraid his father would appear out of thin air to berate me," I gibe, smirking.

"Heh. From the few occasions his parents managed to bribe or negotiate their way into visiting, that's actually not an unfounded concern. His mother was always... flighty, but his _father_..." he clears his throat. "Very imposing."

"Imposing? Is that what seven year old you thought of the man?" I rib.

"Nah. Seven year old me thought Finn was lucky his parents cared enough to visit, even if his father was scary. Miri didn't enlighten me to 'imposing' 'til I was about ten," Jowan shoots back. "She was also the only apprentice who remember the 'esquire' most of the time."

"Guess it comes with being scholarly."

Jowan opens his mouth to protest my teasing jab, but is interrupted by the approach of another imposing figure; the burly blond Senior Warden who was leading the new squad when they arrived.

"Good morning, Commander," the warrior greets me with a bow, chevalier formality still clinging to him after half a decade in the Wardens.

"And to you, Vhiané," I nod in return. "Did you need something?"

"A sparring partner, actually," Vhiané admits with a sheepish smile. "I need more practice fighting rogues. And both Sigrun and Arrik are... catching up on lost sleep, no?"

I mull it over for a second before I nod. I have nothing that needs immediate doing. "I'll meet you in the practice yard as soon as I get armored up. I need to brush up on fighting warriors who are an actual challenge. Recently it's been all ghouls and darkspawn and cultists. Don't wanna lose my edge."

"That would indeed be tragic," he concurs with a laugh. "I will see you there."

I look up at Jowan as the warrior takes his leave. "Wanna help me with my armor?"

"I can think of worse things to do with my times," he teases, after pretending to think about it.

"Oh, you..." I reach up and tug him down for a kiss, which-considering we don't break our stride-ends with tripping over our own feet and landing in a tangled heap on the ground.

It was a good kiss, though, so in my mind, it's worth the bruised elbow. Though I _am_ sorry for how hard said elbow rammed into Jowan's thigh. He promises it's no big deal, just a little sore, but I still feel bad when he limps the rest of the way back to my room.

However, it _does _give me an excuse to keep his arm around my shoulders, so it's not a total loss.

A/N:Firstly, Vhiané is pronounced Vee-en-ee(I named him after the younger brother of an exchange student who stayed with my family a few years ago). Secondly, yes, I do have my reasons for having Finn get semi-bit by the adventuring bug. Reasons that relate to an either leaked or preview page from The World of Thedas vol. 2 I saw. But that's all I'm saying, in case people don't want spoilers. :3


	13. Little Bit Rusty

13\. Little Bit Rusty

I was serious about needing practice against warriors, I just didn't realize how true it was until I stepped into the practice yard with Vhiané and got my ass handed to me not once but _twice_. Fortunately, Vhiané is a gracious victor-again, due to his noble upbringing and time as a chevalier-and doesn't gloat. He simply helps me up, compliments me on being a formidable opponent, and offers to escort me to the infirmary when I noticeably falter climbing out through the fence.

I take him up on it. I'm pretty sure it's just bruises and sore muscles, but I've thought that before and found out it's actually hairline fractures or internal bleeding. Besides, I don't like walking around with clenched teeth any more than the next person. I'm only mildly surprised to find Mal is the one manning the infirmary, only because I'm so used to my horrible timing meaning Jowan's the one to patch me up. Brandel raises his head and whines at our approach before settling back down with his chin protectively atop the elven mage's feet.

"Where's Tarin? I thought this was supposed to be his shift," I comment, wincing as Vhiané helps me ease onto the edge of the table before taking his leave.

Mal shrugs. "Aye, it was. Sable was havin' trouble with her nightmares again an' he asked if we could switch so he could help her. Or try to."

"That poor woman," I sigh, and regret it immediately. "Ow!"

"What's wrong?" His brow wrinkles in concern.

"Vhiané trounced me," I inform him through gritted teeth. "Apparently, I'm a little bit rusty fighting warriors who are actually. Damn darkspawn have made me soft." I shift gingerly and reach for the straps on my armor, hissing slightly in pain as I undo them. "I'm pretty sure-ah!-that it's all just bruises and the like, but I figure-ouch-better safe than sorry, I should have someone check for me."

"An' a very wise decision tha' is, too." Mal stands, carefully easing his feet out from under Brandel's head, and shuffles over to where I'm perched. He rests a hand against my back, warmth of his skin sinking through my lightweight undershirt, and sends a pulse of magic coursing through me. It tingles and I jolt. "Sorry," he winces. "Only way for me tae see what's wrong."

"No, no, you're fine," I assure him. "It just... felt kinda weird."

"Well, I should be able tae take care a' you off just th' one. So no more weird." He smiles.

"So, how does that work, exactly?" I ask, mostly for conversation's sake. To keep me distracted from how much I ache.

"Th' magic travels differently through damaged tissue. So it lets me know where there are injuries," Mal explains, dead stare fixed somewhere over my shoulder as his fingers trace along my ribs. "Nothin' feels or sounds broken tae me. I think you were right; just bruises. But there's some nasty ones. He pauses for a moment, concentrating, and I feel a soft wave of numbness creep over various aches and pains. "That'll help for a little while, but I would recommend a warm bath. It'll do even more for ya than magic can."

"Thank you." I climb down from the table and gather my armor. "That helped a lot."

"Och, I'm glad," Mal replies, ducking his head shyly. "I'm just a wee bit rusty on the application side of healing magic."

"Really?" I raise an eyebrow. "You'd never know. You did a good job."

"Thank yeh." He shrugs, tucks a loose lock of hair behind his ear. "Last time I tried tae heal someone, didn't do much good."

"And who was that?"

He offers a grim smile and gestures toward his eyes. "Me."

"Oh." I bite my lip. "Well, you did a lot of good for me, Mal. If that helps at all."

"It does," he nods.

"I'm gonna go take that warm bath now," I mumble as I take my leave.

"Best a' luck with th' rest a' your day," Mal calls after me, and I can't help but smile.

**oOo**

The bath feels like heaven. Especially since it takes me long enough to get it ready that whatever Mal did has worn off and I _ache_. All over. I soak for as long as the water stays warm and then climb out, trailing water across the floor as I retrieve fresh clothes. Ones that won't smell like sweat.

I've finished dressing and moved on to brushing out my hair when there's a knock at the door. "You can come in."

"Sorry to disturb you, Commander," the dark skinned man apologizes as he enters.

I wave it off with the hand holding my brush. "Tarin, I'm the commander. I'm always available, it's in the job description. Plus, I really don't mind."

Tarin smiles sheepishly, rubbing a hand over his shaved scalp. "Old habits, Commander."

"What can I do for you?" I inquire, loosely braiding my hair and leaving it to hang over my shoulder. "It's about Sable, isn't it?"

"Yes," he nods. "I want to try again." We both know what he means.

"No." I shake my head firmly. "You don't have a good grasp on what you're doing, no training in how to use it properly. Last time it nearly killed both of you. I can't let you run that risk again. For both your sakes."

"Commander, she's my friend!" he protests. "I've _tried_ everything else. Literally _everything else._ This is the only thing that might help her."

"Sorry, Tarin. I can't allow it." I hate denying him the only thing that may help ease Sable's nightmares-watching her suffer kills him and I know it-but the risk it'll just make things worse or outright kill them is too great.

Tarin sighs, cracks his knuckles. "There's nothing I can say to change your mind?"

"'Fraid not," I reply, shrugging apologetically. "Unless it's something like informing me you found a book on the topic in the library and feel much more confident in your abilities."

"I... understand, Commander." He nods reluctantly and turns to leave.

"'Rin?" I call, waiting for him to pause before continuing. "I really am sorry. I know what it feels like to not be able to help people you care about."

His lips twitch like there's something he wants to say, but all he does is nod once more as he leaves the room.

I groan and rest my head in my hands, hating that we don't know enough for me to feel comfortable letting him do this for her. Because I do remember the tightness in my chest when I was too slow to truly save Shianni, the ache of watching Alistair finish off the archdemon, the frantic , desperate helplessness watching Jowan face off with a Pride Demon or Melita slicing open Zev's face. And I hate it. So to be the one who puts someone else in that same position _hurts_. I sigh and pinch the bridge of my nose in hopes of dulling my encroaching headache. I think I need to take a page from Jowan's book and go brood.

**oOo**

So that's what I do. And it takes an hour for me to be found.

"How many places did you look before ya checked up here?" I ask Jowan as he sits next to me.

"Three. Your room, your office, and the stable." He scoots close and slips his hand into mine. "So, what's got you upset enough to sit on the wall and brood? I thought that was my thing."

I half-smile at the gentle teasing. "Tarin."

"Ah. He wants to try again?"

"Mm-hm. And I know what that level of helplessness feels like, so I hate telling him no, but-"

"You did anyway," Jowan finishes for me.

I nod, absently rubbing my thumb against the back of his hand. "If we knew more about this whole dreaming thing..."

"I know. But _you_ know Dreamers, actual Dreamers-especially outside of Tevinter-are a rarity," he points out.

"Yeah, I do. I still don't feel right letting him take the risk with so little practice and knowledge. 'Specially after last time."

Jowan sighs. "That's a valid concern. But, Rahna, _why_ don't you want to let him risk it?"

I frown in confusion. "Whaddya mean?"

"Are you worried about it killing them, are you worried about the threat of possession, about potentially losing two of you Wardens...?" He raises an eyebrows.

"All of the above," I concede after a moment of thought. "I had enough trouble killing abominations that I _hadn't_ known before they were possessed, just knowing they _were_ people at some point. To have to kill a turned friend?" I shudder. "The very thought gives me nightmares and you know it."

"Mm-hm. As for the risk... Why are you the only one allowed to take risks for the people you care about? You're always apologizing when Sigrun or Nathaniel or I help you and wind up in danger, yet throw yourself into things like Aeonar without a second's hesitation. How is Tarin taking this chance for Sable different than you coming to Aeonar to help me?"

I'm honestly speechless for a minute. "If a demon finds him and he can't resist..."

"So we have Declan supervise. The man was a templar, Rahna. He knows what to look for. And I can watch, too. Between the two of us, it should be much less risky."

I bite my lip. "You really think I should let him do it?"

"Yes," Jowan replies confidently, squeezing my hand as he nods. "Tarin's tried literally everything else, we can minimize the danger, and yes, I think you should."

"I like seeing you so confident," I comment, resting my head on his shoulder. "I'll think about it. That's the best I can give you for now."

He kisses the top of my head. "Good enough for me."

A/N:Alrighty, so now we've met all the new Wardens. To sum up, Vhiané is a warrior(I think sword/shield, but still making up my mind xDD), Arrik is a daggers!rogue, Sable and Tarin are mages; Sable focuses on creations magic(so she's heals/buffs/glyphs etc), Tarin's specialty is entropy, plus he's a Somniari/Dreamer(yes, like Feynriel). The only one I have a face ref for is Tarin(BJ Britt). Next chapter should involve everybody else finding out this secret Rahna's been sitting on for Nate, and reactions shall abound. :33

Also, writing Rahna's conversation with Mal now has me picturing him curled up in the corner of his cell at Aeonar, hands cupped over his eyes as he tries to fix himself but _can't_. *cries over my elf mage feels*


	14. Pay Up

14\. Pay Up

Fortunately for me, a more immediate-not to mention immeasurably more light-hearted-matter presents itself as soon as Jowan and I walk inside. Namely, all the sleepyhead returnees are awake. Nathaniel, Sigrun, and Declan sit gathered around a table, half eaten late breakfast scattered before them.

Sigrun catches sight of us and waves. "Hey, boss, c'mere!"

It takes everything in me not to grin knowingly as we join them. "What's up, Sig?"

"Nate says he has news that he only wants to share once. Meaning, tell all of us at the same time, I guess. So he refused to breathe a word 'til we had you guys. I was just gettin' ready to go look for ya, cuz the suspense is killin' me."

"Well, that would be bad," I tease, sliding into a seat.

"That's what I said," Declan laughs. "Though no' gettin' pranked anymore would be a nice change a' pace."

Sigrun elbows him in the ribs. "I'd miss you, too, Pretty Boy. Now, Nate, Commander an' Jowan are here, so spill. What's your news?"

Nathaniel blows out a breath and sets the ring box in the middle of the table. It's fairly obvious what it is, so every pair of eyes locks on the archer. Except mine. I already know what he's going to say, so _my_ gaze is on Sigrun.

"Finally gonna pop the question?" the dwarf teases, reaching out and snatching the ornate box off the table. "So how fancy did you-" She stops abruptly upon swinging the lid open. "Y'know, _Nathaniel_, I may be a tad rusty on human customs, but I could _swear_ when you propose you're supposed to have an... actual... ring..." She looks up at the smirking archer and slides the box across the table at him. "You nug-humping _ass_, you asked her already, didn't you?"

Nathaniel chuckles as he reclaims the box. "I did."

"And since there's not a ring in there, I'm assumin' she said yes?"

"She did."

Sigrun snorts in disbelief, eyes round as saucers. "Then what in the Stone are you doin' back here? Why aren't you with Vi?"

He grins, spinning the box in slow, lazy circles on the table. "I did have some time with her. But I am a Warden, and I belong here." His grin widens. "Also, how was I supposed to pass up seeing the look on your face?"

She sputters indignantly for a moment as the others congratulate Nathaniel, then catches sight of the smirk I'm trying to rein in. "You _knew_?!"

"Only since this morning," I shrug. "You know I'm an early riser. I caught his as he came back and asked how things went in the city. It's been almost a form of torture, not letting it slip, but it was Nate's news, and I'm incredibly stubborn, so I just willed myself to keep my mouth shut."

"Bet that was hard," Jowan whispers teasingly in my ear, and I fake-glower and smack the back of his head. "Ow!"

I smile sweetly at him and turn back to Sigrun. I finally, _finally_ get to be the one to say it. "Hey, Sig? Pay up."

Her expression warns that I will likely face prank-style consequences for my glee, but I don't even care. It's worth it.

**oOo**

The rest of my day is actually rather profoundly boring. Paperwork, paperwork, narrowly avoiding the first of many revenge-pranks, paperwork. However, boring as it may be, it _is_ mentally exhausting, so by the time I go to bed, I'm too tired to do more than curl up next to Jowan and fall asleep.

The next day is... routine. However, it's not boring, because my Wardens all decide today's a good day to practice against each other. So I get to watch Jerin attempt to best Nate at archery, fail again, and salve his wounded pride by beating Oghren and Arrik in two on one combat. Then, as if that wasn't present enough, Sigrun and Declan go next, which basically means a match full of near misses and snarky insults bandied back and forth as they fight to a draw. The amount of trash talk between the two of them is _glorious_, and by the time they exit the training yard, my sides ache from laughing.

Oghren pops back in, his expression stormy.

"You ready for another fight already?" I ask, surprised.

"Commander, I'm always ready for a fight," he growls. "'Sides, I'm not stoppin' when some floofy woodland _princess_ beat me."

"Need a win t' be able to sleep tonight?" I grin, watching Jerin smirk and bow.

"Exactly."

The fire in his eyes makes me feel sorry for the unlucky bastard-Vhiané, in other words-who has to fight him like this. Sure enough, the fight's not a long one, and ends with Vhiané on his back, an axe haft resting along his collarbone. The former chevalier is good-natured about his loss, laughing as he climbs back to his feet. Some of the guardsmen are eagerly awaiting their turns, and a pair of them are climbing in through the fence even as Oghren and Vhiané leave.

"So, what's next for you today, Commander?" Vhiané asked, breathing hard. "Now that you've watched us knock the stuffings out of each other for an hour or so?"

"Oh, there's probably more paperwork magically appeared on my desk," I laugh ruefully. "And I have a few... hard calls to ponder."

"Meaning you'll be vanishing to somewhere only Jowan can find for a couple hours?" the blond chuckles, rolling his shoulders.

"Something like that, yes," I reply with a nod. "But first, the paperwork."

Vhiané gives me a sympathetic smile. "Best of luck with that."

"Thanks, I'll need it," I joke as we head our separate ways.

**oOo**

Sure enough, there's more paperwork on the desk when I walk into my office. Part of me wonders where all it _comes_ from, but this _is_ the only Warden garrison for the entirety of Ferelden. People as far flung as Honnleath or Gwaren are still going to be sending news of potential darkspawn sightings or related troubles here.

With no real reason or excuse to put this off, I settle in slouching down in my chair to get comfortable, and reach for the first letter in the pile.

It, like most of the ones that follow, is simply a farmer who spotted a patch of forest land that looked Blighted. Or found a carcass of some animal with traces of the Blight. The biggest problem with these sorts of letters is knowing which ones are a present enough threat they require a Warden to investigate further and which are simple cases I can just write back for local militia to burn it out.

There's one or two letters from Weisshaupt, which I'm fairly sure are either requests for updates or notifying me of some change the First Warden wants to make to my garrison. Honestly, we're humming along like a well-greased cart wheel, I may wring his neck myself if he's 'rearranging' and tries to shift any of my Wardens away from the Vigil. Of course, I'm more personally attached to some than others, but we have our teams worked out, and everyone gets along for the most part. It's a good set up, and a good crew, and I'm not letting it break up. Not for anything.

Fortunately for me and my stubborn streak, my first guess is right; the first letter is simply a request for a report on the state of Ferelden now that we're roughly two years past the Blight. The second is a clarification of the territory I'm responsible for-all of Ferelden, including Orzammar, should the dwarves ever feel the need or desire to bring something to our attention. I'm okay with this.

To my surprise, one of the letters on the bottom is actually addressed to Jowan. Whoever sorted this batch of letters probably saw the griffon seal and didn't even bother to check _who _it was addressed to. I smile to myself, because I recognize the slender, careful script handwriting and know getting this letter will make his day. Needing a break from paperwork anyway, I push away and up from my desk, tucking the letter in my pocket as I head off in search of my mage.

**oOo**

I finally find him in the infirmary, staring at the wall like he's bored out of his mind. He brightens noticeably when I walk through the door.

"Hey, Rahna. Come to make my day more exciting? 'Cause so far, the most interesting thing that's happened is Declan coming by for help getting his shoulder back in the socket," he chuckles ruefully.

_Knew I heard something pop._ I keep the thought to myself. "Yeah, but probably not the way you're expecting." I hand over the letter, and amend, "unless you were expecting a letter from Miri."

Jowan's eyebrows rise as he accepts the tri-folded parchment. "No. She doesn't write that often. Kind of like you with your family," he teases as he breaks the seal.

I stick my tongue out at him. "Between what counts as 'Grey Warden secrets' and how busy all of them are, there isn't much point."

"Sure, sure, make your excuses."

I roll my eyes but smile at his teasing. "If you need me, I'll be in one of my spots, deliberating some of the harder choices on my plate."

Jowan nods, knowing exactly which one I mean, and turns his attention to Miri's letter.

When he tracks me down several hours later, I have at least managed to make a decision. "Tarin can help Sable."

A/N: Sorry about the break; I had a very busy week with no time to write a couple weeks ago, which is why there was no chapter last Tuesday. I gotta say, I'm both looking forward to playing with Tarin's Dreamer abilities and mildly terrified, because I don't want to screw up, lore-wise. But we'll see what happens with that next week. OR maybe the following week... depending on what the characters give me for the upcoming chapters.


	15. Best Friends

15\. Best Friends

Tarin is, of course, overjoyed that I've changed my mind. He readily agrees to my conditions; Declan and Jowan watching, time limit before we wake him up, and if it seems to be getting too dangerous, they'll stop him immediately. Sable already has enough trouble with her nightmares, we don't need to make them worse or add a possessed best friend for her to feel guilty about.

"Not that I lack confidence in your abilities or anything," I assure him. "I just know how tricky and powerful demons can be."

"I understand, Commander." He's practically _bouncing_ he's excited.

"Tarin." I wait until he looks at me. "Good luck, and be careful."

"I will," he nods, expression solemn but eyes shining. He doesn't care how dangerous this is, I realize as I watch him leave. He doesn't care about the risks that are inherently higher with Dreamer abilities just by nature of what they _are_. He just cares that he can help Sable, or at least try this one last thing.

Maker above, I hope the risk is worth it.

**oOo**

Between the two of them, Declan and Jowan come up with a very thorough list of signs something's gone wrong, the things that could go wrong, and how to deal with those things should the worst happen. Tarin agrees with everything on their list, from complications through solutions. He looks a little nervous as the reality of what _might_ happen sets in, but still is determined to help.

"We've been best friends for almost a decade, Commander. I'm not going to give up helping her out of fear of what might happen to me."

I smile at that. "She's lucky to have you."

"The luck goes both ways," he corrects me softly. "She's helped me before, too."

"One question for you," I begin as we head down the hallway. "Does she know you're doing this? Or are you just gonna show up in her dreams and somehow convince her you're real?"

"We've talked about it as a last resort option," Tarin replies. "But as far as telling her specifically that you said yes, or even were thinking about it? No, I haven't. I know Sable, Commander. She'll tell me not to risk it just because she's having some bad dreams. Never mind that these dreams are bad enough she she wakes up screaming, never mind that I'm sincerely beginning to worry about a demon taking advantage of her, never mind _any_ of the danger she's in. She's more worried about me." He gives a small, soft laugh. "But I guess that comes with being best friends; I worry about her more than myself, and she worries more about me."

"That is usually the way of it," I agree, opening a door and letting him enter first. "I'm like that with all my best friends."

"You have more than one?" Tarin laughs.

"Yep. Even if we leave aside that Jowan was a 'best friend' before we realized we loved each other, I can't label a 'best' between Zev, Sig, and Nate," I shrug sheepishly. "I'd go to the same lengths for all three, I tease all three equally, and they tease me back. Nathaniel may be more subtle and 'choose your battles' about it than Sig, and Zev may be half a world away right now, but all of them could qualify as my best friend so I refuse to pick a favorite."

"And that wouldn't have _anything _to do with the fact two of them are trained assassins, would it?" Jowan teases from the corner of the room.

"Oh, absolutely _nothing_," I deadpan. "You all set?"

He nods. "Declan will be here here any minute with Sable."

Tarin frowns. "You're bringing her in here?"

"Yes." Jowan runs his fingers through his hair as he explains, "It'll be easier to watch for clues things are going wrong if you're both in the same room. Less spreading ourselves thin and eliminates the need for a go-between running back and forth to check on things." He raises an eyebrow as it dawns on him. "You haven't told her you're doing this."

"She'd be... less than receptive to me taking such a risk for her. Especially springing it on her like I'm going to have to do now."

"Better she knows it's you and not some demon come after her, though, aye?" Declan poins out as he enters the room, Sable following close behind him.

She shoots Tarin a questioning look.

"The Commander said I could, you know, Dream. To help you," he says, hands fiddling with his robes in nervous anticipation of her reaction.

Sable makes a few rapid, almost angry, gestures and Tarin sighs.

"I know the risks," he replies. "I just happen to think you're worth facing them."

She half-smiles, brushes hair out of her eyes, and nods her thanks, then makes one last questioning gesture with her hands.

"Yes, I'm sure," Tarin promises, before glancing at Declan and Jowan. "Let's do this. Before _somebody_ tries to change my mind." He pokes Sable in the ribs and shoots her a teasing smile.

She just rolls her eyes and very deliberately kicks off her shoes. She climbs into one of the room's beds and snuggles in under the covers. Now all we can do is wait.

**oOo**

Once Sable is asleep, Tarin settles on the bed next to hers. "Wish me luck," he says, and I pretend not to notice the flicker of doubt that dashes briefly trough his eyes.

"You won't need it," I assure him. "Just stay wary, and focused on helping Sable, and you'll be fine." I still can't help but wish, as he lays back and closes his eyes, that we knew more about Dreamers. Aside from legends of Tevinter somniari slaying enemies through their dreams alone, and warnings of how _bad_ a Dreamer abomination would be, there's not much to be found on the ability. Which means Tarin's been forced to learn through trial and error what he can and can't do. Being the cautious soul that he is, this little adventure is the farthest he's ever pushed, to my knowledge. That's the main reason I was so reluctant to let him do this; we have no idea what's going to happen. No previous experience to draw on, no inkling of what he'll find or will have to do to accomplish his goal. It's nerve-wracking. I plunk down next to Jowan, my hands unconsciously twisting together with the nerves until he reaches over and links his fingers between mine, holding my hand still and gently rubbing circles on the back with his thumb.

I shoot him a grateful smile. "I hope I made the right call."

"You did," he assures me, eyes fixed on Tarin's face to watch for a sign something's gone wrong. I squeeze his hand, grateful for this hint he trusts his own judgment again. After Melita's betrayal, his self doubt was back in spades. But he seems to have regained his confidence.

"Wonder what he'll find..." I murmur.

"My hope is for somethin' easy tae chase off," Declan chips in. "A lone despair demon at worst, but ideally just old, bad memories that he can seal off."

"That would be ideal," I agree. "Easy fix, minimal danger for them both, and then she'll never have trouble again."

The words have barely left my mouth when Sable whimpers, Tarin flinches, and a sinking feeling in my gut chides that it's never, _ever_ that easy.

A/N:Sorry this is a tad shorter than usual. I'm thinking about doing the next chapter from Tarin's POV, interspersed with Rahna, and it made sense to cut here in that case. A note about Sable; yes, she is essentially mute. The how of that-and why I say 'essentially'-may come up in future chapters, so I don't want to spoil it in an A/N. You'll see.


	16. Belly Of the Beast

16\. Belly of the Beast

_The Fade looked vastly different when you could see all of its pieces. Like seeing a quilter's pattern laid out before being sewn together, or leaning in close enough to see the brushstrokes in a painting. Even with experience and training, what little he had of both, it was a disconcerting sensation. One Tarin tried to banish by focusing on the advice the Commander had given him. _Stay focused. Be wary._It helped a little bit._

_The Fade seemed to settle as he did, and the mage concentrated on his surroundings. Tall trees, long grass, the rush of running water. Tarin spun a quarter-turn to his right and flinched at the sight of the old weathered house, perched on stilts that jutted out over the river. Of all the places for him to enter, all the things to greet him, it would be _here_. He backed away slowly, quietly, until he stood near the trees. A figure, a woman, hair in braids and face painted with blue and green, appeared in the doorway of the house. "Tarin?" she called._

_He turned and ran, banishing the illusion of home with the wave of a hand. He'd made his choice and could never go back. Sable. He was here for Sable. It troubled him slightly that _that _memory was the first thing he saw. It made him wonder if some spirit didn't want him helping his friend. To present such a temptation so early... if he hadn't known this wasn't real, hadn't seen the flickering edges that didn't quite meet between house and stilts and water, he might've believed it. And if he'd believed it, he would've stayed._

_For a spirit or demon to know that and try to exploit it immediately was _terrifying_. He needed to find Sable, help her, and get them both out. Fast. The only problem with that, of course, was that the Fade was a maze at the best of times, so finding her would probably be anything but fast. Even with his ability to create shortcuts._

_**oOo**_

_There was no concept of time in the Fade, so he had no way to tell how long he'd been searching when he finally found a corner that looked promising. In a sickening way, it made sense; dreams for Sable were a place of terror, so of course she'd hide. But the cave mouth yawning ahead of him looked even more ominous than the shades that surrounded it, and it broke his heart that _this _was where Sable came on the rare nights Warden dreams didn't plague her._

_"Sable?" His voice echoed down the cave. "Are you in there? It's Tarin."_

_There was no answer, but something about the cave felt promising, or at least a good place to start looking. So Tarin snapped his fingers to summon fire and walked into the belly of the beast, half expecting to be attacked by demons every step of the way._

"Idiot girl, try harder! It must look effortless!"

"I _am_ trying!_"_

_He flinched at the harsh words that seemed to emanate from the wall, his attention sharpening in focus when he heard a whimper from up ahead. "Sable?"_

_"No, no! Get back! Stay away!" the voice drifted from further in, almost incoherent with fear._

_He broke into a run, robes snagging on rocky outcroppings that jutted from the wall. "Sable?!" The cave curved sharply, then split in opposite directions. The spikes of rock grew sharper and more numerous as they faded into the distance of both options. He reached out and brushed a hand against one wicked spire, concentrating. The rocky teeth trembled for a moment, then one whole wall's worth disintegrated._

"Come on, girl. You know how this works."

"No, I don't want-"

"Who do you think you are to deny me, _bitch_?"_A smack echoed following the words._

_He'd chosen correctly, but Tarin's stomach twisted at what he was hearing. _Not this one. Maker, tell me she doesn't relive this one so often..._But as he continued down the tunnel, the far reaches of the cave shifted; natural, lumpy rock walls giving way to the polished and precise granite of a mad-made structure meant to resist escape and unbidden entry with equal success, and he realized she did. It made something in him scream in rage, and tempted him to, just once, use his Dreamer abilities like the magisters of ancient Tevinter had: to kill._

_A few steps more and he was undeniably standing in a Circle's hallways. He wasn't sure which one; Sable never talked about where she was from, but the heraldry hanging on the walls and the patrolling templars were all the clues he needed. The quiet sobbing from the nearby antechamber was the final piece to the puzzle. Not caring what the other denizens of this dream thought of his behavior, Tarin deliberately strode through the doorway and grabbed the shoulder of the templar who loomed over a kneeling Sable. "Get away from her!"_

_Before he could do anything to... encourage the templar to comply with his demand, the helmeted figure snarled and backhanded him across the face. Harder than should have been humanly possible. "...Ssshe'sss __**mine**__!" hissed out from the visor slits. "Alwayssss hass been, alwaysss will be... Who are you, little man, to try and change that?" The templar flung out a hand in a sharp motion and Tarin flew backwards towards a wall. A wall that vanished just before he crashed into it, allowing the mage to halt his flight._

"_I'm just a friend," he shot back, firmly planting his feet. "Someone on her side who can change the rules." With a snap of his fingers, an extra section of wall shot rapidly out, slamming into the templar and knocking it away from Sable._

_A low, hissing growl burst forth as the armored figure regained its feet, only to freeze in the grip of a paralysis spell. "Pathetic. You really think you can sssave her from me?"_

_"No." Tarin shrugged. "People have to fight their own demons." He glanced over at Sable, still kneeling on the floor, one hand rubbing where the templar had struck her. "But there's no reason I can't help. Sable!"_

_Her head jerked up, eyes rimmed red and full of fear._

_"Think about where you are. Where you _really _are!" Straight up telling her this wasn't real would defeat the purpose of letting her conquer her own fears, but he did need her to realize something was off._

_She frowned, fingers twining her long hair in a loose braid._

_Part of him smiled, recognizing the habit, but he pressed further. "What's your title? What are you?"_

_"A... mage," she began hesitantly. "Decent at healing and glyphs, but far below mediocre at everything el-"_

_"No," he cut her off. " __**Think**__, Sable. What __**are**__ you? Not just a mage, definitely not a failure. What Are. You?"_

_She was silent for a long moment before understanding dawned in dark brown eyes. "I'm... I'm a... Grey Warden."_

_"Yes." A glance at the templar, to make sure the spell hadn't worn off yet._

_She followed his gaze. "Then he's not real."_

_"Real in that he's from your past, yes. Real in that he has any power over you beyond the fear the memory stirs? No."_

_Sable stood, wobbled slightly, hands trembling as she eyed the templar. "So what do I do?"_

_"Forgive him, kill him, make it hurt. This is your past, your nightmare. For it to stop plaguing you, it has to end on your terms. I'm just here as the nudge to get you moving, and watch your back if you need it."_

_"Wouldn't have it any other way- Look out!"_

_The templar, finally free of the paralysis that bound it, bull-rushed the dark skinned mage, sword drawn. "You will not take her from me!"_

_Tarin spun out of the way, but the blade still cut into his shoulder. He swore in his birth tongue, gesturing sharply with his good arm so there was once more a sizable gap between him and their opponent. "No more games! Face us as you are!"_

_It laughed. "Ssso be it. You really think you can ssstare down fear itssself, man of the marshesss?" Silver and red armor melted away, replaced by leathery black skin, tentacles dangling from its face, and spiny, clawlike protrusions jutting from its back. "I am her father, her mother, the __**good**__ Ssser Elrich, and a half dozen more, all at the sssame time. What can one friend do againssst that?"_

_He smiled thinly. "For starters, distract you."_

_The demon hissed and whirled too late, just as Sable finished casting her spell. Starting at the tips of gnarled fingers and slowly working upwards, the demon began turning to stone. One hurried spell was, however, only partly sufficient. One arm, part of its torso; just enough to make it mad. Snarling in rage, the demon charged once more, snatching Tarin up by the throat and pinning him against the wall. "That wasss... unwissse of you, __**mage**__." It pressed harder, glancing viciously over at Sable. "Try anything elssse, __**girl**__, and he dies first."_

A/N:So, yeah. *cough* *insert copious apologies for the cliffhanger here* I really, honestly did not intend for this to take more than one chapter. But then the Fear Demon(which is a bitch to describe btw) showed up and decided to complicate matters. So, next week, the thrilling conclusion and explanations for some things. Ooh, also, I figured out Sable's face ref while working on this chapter-Rosario Dawson


	17. Facing Your Fear

17\. Facing Your Fear

_Concentrating was a hard thing to do with a Fear Demon's claws dug into his neck. Tarin gasped and choked, watched Sable freeze as the demon pressed harder, pinning him to the wall. He met her gaze and smiled inwardly. The frightened girl who'd cowered before the templar now looked more like an avenging goddess. Fury burned deep behind her eyes, and this second glance made it more than obvious her hesitation was more to figure a way of neutralizing the demon before it could make good on its threat._

_If the dark spots dancing in front of his eyes were any indication, she needed to hurry. In sheer desperation, Tarin slapped one hand hard on the wall behind him, and the stone dissolved. The loss of the surface it had been pushing against caused the demon to lurch forward, its grip loosening due to the surprise. Not enough for him to escape, not yet, but enough for him to breathe._

_Deep breath. Hands gripped the demon's arm as it lifted him once again, holding him aloft like a trophy._

_"What do you fear, marshhhh dweller?" the demon hissed, its feature blurring in preparation for a new guise. "Your passst? The sssecret horrorsss that dwell ssso deep in Kocari no man living hasss truly sseen them?" It grinned wickedly. "The monssster under the bed?"_

_"I know your tricks," Tarin managed contemptuously. "They won't work on me."_

_And Fear did seem taken aback when it didn't change, didn't slip into the face of someone or something he linked to a terrifying memory._

_"Besides," the mage panted. "I'm a Grey Warden. There's only one thing that truly scares me." He winced as the claws dug in deeper, then chuckled. "And you're really, truly stupid to fall for the same thing twice."_

_The demon flinched as something struck it from behind. This time, with plenty of breathing room to build from, Sable's petrification spell was powerful enough to immobilize Fear entirely. As it felt the spell taking effect, the demon hissed in rage and threw Tarin aside, whirling to face Sable instead. "_You ungrateful little **bitch**. After everything we've done for you._"_

_Sable didn't even flinch at the changed voice or shifting countenance, biting off a hard, scoffing reply. "Try harder, demon."_

_Fear let out a howling bellow of rage, but was cut off midway as the petrifying spell took full effect, leaving a statue of a monster standing amid the rubble. The dark haired mage smiled grimly and swept her hand in a circular motion before flinging it forward, a boulder the size of her head congealing and flying from her fingertips. Demon and boulder alike shattered upon impact. As the dust settled, she straightened, a rare self-congratulatory half-smile tugging at her lips as she looked for Tarin._

_He watched her face change when she found him, dropping from unmitigated glee at her accomplishment and the freedom it brought, to horror at his predicament. "Tarin!"_

_He coughed, even the motion from that sending pain tearing out from where the rock spike had impaled through his shoulder. "I really need to... be more mindful of my surrounding next time I rile a demon..."_

_Sable rolled her eyes and managed a quavering smile as she knelt next to him. "I'd've thought the constant lecturing would have sunk in by now."_

_"Nngh... You know me, I just get entirely too-ahh-focused." Tarin brought up his good hand and wrapped it around the protruding, bloody end of the spike, jaw tightening as he concentrated. It took longer than usual, but after a few seconds, the rock crumbled and vanished. "Your turn, healer extraordinaire."_

_She snorted a small laugh at the teasing. "What, you can't just magic it whole again with your super special Dreamer abilities?"_

_"Normally, yes, but in case you didn't notice, there's a _hole_through my shoulder. Makes it a little hard to concentrate for long. So since-ow-I have you, why try?"_

_"Ah. Well, you know the rule of thumb; keeping talking so I know you're alive." Sable rested her hands against the front and back of the wound._

_"Yes, ma'am. Have I ever mentioned that it's still really weird how talkative you are in here?"_

_She nodded, hands shifting slightly as they began to glow. "A couple times. And my story's the same now as then. It doesn't hurt in here. Probably because I'm actually dreaming, so scars and their effects didn't come with me."_

_"We're-nngh-a fascinating treatise on the differing levels of presence a mage can have in the Fade just waiting to be written..." Tarin bit his lip, wincing slightly, as flesh knit back together. "You're... like you are because you're dreaming, and this is how you want to be, and I have... well, the categorizing of all my bad decisions and wrong judgment calls still plain as day-" He glanced at the scars that clawed up the inside of his left arm- "because I'm __**more here**__, for lack of a better term."_

_Sable snorted, dropping her hands as the wound vanished. "It's a treatise that'll never get written, seeing as no one could ever keep up with us to write it."_

_He laughed. "Excellent point. And thank you." He rolled his shoulder a few times. "Good as new."_

_"'Course it is. This is the Fade. It's easier to fix things that aren't truly damaged. Just 'cause you're 'more here' doesn't mean even serious injuries are actually injuries."_

_Tarin raised an eyebrow. "Bet you five silver I still have a new scar when we wake up."_

_"That's right, we do have to do that, don't we?" Sable sighed._

_"Unless you like the idea of being dead, yeah, we do." He rubbed her arm sympathetically, then offered her his hand. "D'we have a wager?"_

_"Void, yes." She took his hand, shook it firmly once, then dragged him to his feet. "Oh, and just so I get to actually __**say**__ it, thank you."_

_He shrugged. "You did most of the work. Killed the demon, saved me, hopefully rid yourself of those awful nightmares..."_

_"Hopefully," she agreed. "But you gave me the nudge I needed, and for that I'm eternally grateful." She sighed. "Now, let's get this over with..."_

_"Sable?" Tarin gave her an apologetic half-smile. "It was nice talking to you." He squeezed her hand and willed himself awake._

**oOo**

It's been nerve-wracking sitting here and doing nothing. Declan and Jowan have been watching the sleeping mages like a pair of hawks, but there's not really anything for me to do, other than cross my fingers and pray. Sable did stop whimpering a few minutes in, but the way Tarin keeps mumbling and flinching has all three of us worried. Enough so that there were a couple points Declan suggested we might need to wake them up. But we don't. Mostly thanks to Jowan, who stubbornly insists Tarin knows what he's doing, and pulling them out now might do more harm than good.

So we sit and wait some more. Until the moment Tarin gasps and jolts awake, pushing himself upright almost immediately. Even as he blinks sleep from his eyes, he tugs aside the collar of his robes with one hand, looks at his shoulder, and grins.

"Tarin? How'd it go?" I ask cautiously.

"It was a Fear demon," he replies around a yawn. "Powerful son of a bitch, too. But it's gone now. She should be safe." He glances over at Sable as she stirs, stretching and blinking with the laziness of a cat in the sun. "Mostly because she took it down herself."

I chuckle, seeing the poetry. "So, literally facing her fear."

"Exactly. How you feeling, Sable?"

She gives a strained smile and wiggles a hand in a so-so motion before rising and leaving the room. I look back to Tarin, eyebrow raised.

"It's always tough for her, waking up," he explains. "Even when the Fade was a place of terror for her, at least there she can speak without it hurting. If nothing else, she misses that when she wakes up."

"Ah." I nod understanding. "That makes sense."

Tarin yawns again. "Mm, sorry. If you don't mind, I'm going to go get some real sleep now. That variety of Dreaming is rather tiring." His lips twitch in a slight smile at the joke.

"Of course. You did a good job, Tarin. Thank you."

We leave the room and all go our separate ways-except Jowan, who tags along we me as I head for my office. "Curious what crisis managed to arise while we were in there?"

He nods, smiling wryly. "They have a way of doing that with you, so can't blame me for being curious."

"No. No, I can't," I agree with a chuckle.

A/N:And there we go. Fear demon vanquished, Sable's bad dreams (hopefully)put to an end, and everybody made it out alive. And since it didn't come up in the chapter, a word of explanation: The reason Sable is essentially mute is some darkspawn tried to slit her throat not long after she joined the Wardens. It was touch and go for a while before she pulled through, and as a result of the damage, talking is excruciatingly painful. So she stopped doing it(which was very hard for her; she was a real chatty Cathy before).

There's most likely not going to be a chapter next week, by the way. See, today kicks off what is known in my family as Birthday Week. Me, my brothers, one sister, and my sister in law all have birthdays inside a week. So between celebrating, preparations, and last minute shopping, it'll just be easier for me if I don't have to worry about squeezing out another chapter in the process.


	18. Lull

18\. Lull

The weeks following Sable and Tarin's little Fade adventure are downright boring-so much so that when Nathaniel asks for leave to go spend more time with Vi, I'm saying yes before he's even finished asking.

"Thank you, Commander," the archer says with a grateful smile. "Much of the planning for... the wedding is better done with the two of us together, rather than via letter."

I grin. "Still having trouble believin' it's real?"

Nate shrugs, running one hand through his hair. "It's not- Pragmatically speaking, falling in love as a Warden is a bad idea. Especially with someone who isn't a Warden. I could get reassigned halfway across Thedas tomorrow, and I'd have to go. I _can't_ tell her everything, and after watching my father's secretive nature _destroy_ his relationship with my mother, that is the last thing I want."

"Nathaniel Howe, I can't believe I have to remind you of this, but you are _not_ your father. Him voluntarily hiding everything from his wife is different than you not being allowed to tell Vi the process involved in the Joining or that... darkspawn were spotted in Cumberland or something." I resist the temptation to stand on my chair so I can glare at him eye to eye. "She is willingly walking into marriage knowing you won't be able to tell her everything, and it's not because you don't trust her. It's an... occupational hazard. But did you have a larger point that I derailed?"

"Just that despite knowing, practically speaking, it's unwise to fall in love as a Warden, I went and did it anyway."

"Join the club," I laugh wryly. "I've done it _twice_, Jowan's done it, Jerin and Velanna, Gabriel and Miri, Void, _Oghren_ is married. Granted, he and Felsi get hitched before he joined the Wardens, but he's still trying to make it work." Somewhere in the pile of outgoing mail on my desk is his latest missive to his wife and daughter. "My point, Nate, is this: love doesn't care if it's inconvenient. It just shows up, fuses your soul together with someone else's and leaves you to deal with the consequences, both good and bad. In a way, you're lucky Vi's not a Warden. If we were to get a letter reassigning you halfway across Thedas tomorrow, she could potentially go with you. It probably wouldn't be easy, and would be uprooting her life-" my mind flashes to Nida, and her 'love can only take you so far'- "But it _is_ an option. If Jerin or Velanna or I were to get reassigned halfway across Thedas tomorrow, our significant other couldn't come with us. Unless they were miraculously assigned to the same place," I amend. "I know it's hard, but you two love each other, and know what you're getting into, so you'll make it work."

"Will we?" he sighs. "You can find the good, the silver lining, in everything, Rahna. I'm not like that."

"Vi is," I remind him. "I know you're worried, Nate, but you two will be fine. Now get goin', before something happens an' I hafta rescind my permission."

"Yes, Commander," he laughs, smiling as he departs.

**oOo**

The boring holds for another couple days after Nate leaves, and then I get a letter from Honnleath. They'd been having a small problem with leftover darkspawn corruption infecting some of the farming land and animals. Since it didn't seem like an active threat, I'd given them instructions on how to burn the corrupted land and carcasses.

But there appears to have been a problem: the mayor sent some of their best men to handle the burnings and to mark off the land so people will avoid it for a time. It all went well-until the corruption returned, to different farms, a few days later. And at least two of the men involved began to talk about hearing strange music no one else could. A couple days after _that_, those men started talking nonsense and developing dry, scaly patches of grey skin. Fortunately, the mayor recognized the signs of Taint infection and had the men '_put out of their misery'_ before they went completely mindless and started attacking people, but he's still wondering if I can spare some Wardens to come deal with this trouble. It's too much for them.

I write back that of _course_ I can send some Wardens; this problem sounds more serious than I first thought, but then discard the letter. I'll be leaving in the morning with the Wardens he requested; a letter would hardly travel any faster. I just have to decide who to take with me.

**oOo**

Taking into account who I'll be leaving at the Vigil and wanting to leave them an even split, the team that leaves in the morning for Honnleath consists of me, Jowan, Velanna, and Jerin. The two Dalish are used to traveling, and being cooped up in the Vigil for months is slowly driving them crazy. I'm a little worried what reception Dalish Wardens will receive-especially Dalish as prickly and proud as Velanna and Jerin, but both of them point out their clans camped in that area in the past. They know the woods and terrain better than anyone.

"Certainly better than any _shemlen_ could," Jerin scoffs.

"True as that may be, you prob'ly shouldn't _say_ it like that while we're there," I point out. "These people are desperate and asked for our help. Let's try to avoid belittling them, hm?"

"Fine, fine, Tabris, whatever you say," he grumbles, waving me off.

"No, _Mahariel_, I'm serious." I turn and walk backward so I can make eye contact with him. "Pride in your abilities is all well and good, but _no_ disparaging remarks about these people, got it?"

"Yes, Commander. I understand, Commander. I won't, Commander." A wry smile tugs one corner of his mouth. "That good enough?"

I laugh. "For now. Just remember; shems they may be, but you're sworn to protect them from darkspawn all the same."

"No' as if I got a say in th' matter," he mumbles.

"Would you rather I'd let you die?" I point out sweetly. Jowan squeezes my hand in silent warning not to push too hard.

"Cours no'." He kicks a pebble into the surrounding underbrush. "Just sayin' since it wasn't a choice of my own free will, it's takin' a little longer t' adjust."

I can understand that, so I turn to face the right direction with a shrug as we continue on. My mind wanders-I trust Jowan to nudge me back to reality if I'm about to walk into anything-and I let it run wild trying to figure out what's going on in Honnleath. It's been long enough since the Blight the darkspawn should be gone.

'Should' being the operative word in that sentence. And I'm coming up blank on other options for now. But it's going to take at _least_ a week to get there.

Plenty of time to theorize.

A/N:Firstly, sorry this is on the shorter end of thing(I usually aim for 1k-1500 words, and I think this is around 1100). I had stuff come up this week that took some of my writing time. Second, I was feeling guilty for ignoring some of my characters/not giving them enough attention, hence the Honnleath arc involving Jerin and Velanna. I was originally going to use Arrik instead of Jowan to give him some attention, too, but that would have meant Sigrun being the only rogue!Warden left at the Vigil, and I like being able to have one of each class in my teams. So Jowan got to come. He's much happier with this arrangement.

Hopefully that won't change over the course of this *cough* adventure.


	19. Information Gathering

19\. Information Gathering

Considering who's along on this trip, it's absolutely the opposite of a surprise when we pair off. For just about everything the entirety of our trek to Honnleath-at camp, conversing as we walk, sleeping, everything. Jerin and Velanna are almost done with the book of tales, and more than one night of our trip involves me and Jowan hiding smiles as we listen to them bicker over the minutia of their legends.

But every bickering match invariably ends the same way: Jerin caves to Velanna. This book is her project, her baby, and she'd been working on it for months before he arrived on the scene. Plus, he's head over heels in love, and people have done crazier things for love. It's still entertaining to watch.

All of us are fairly good spirits as we finally approach Honnleath. Velanna and Jerin because they found at least one Dalish legend where they agree on absolutely every detail, Jowan because I tweaked the watch rotation to ensure he got enough sleep, and me because we didn't get attacked by anything or anyone on our way out here. No bandits, no blighted animals, no darkspawn. And further, what Taint I can sense in the area is dull, vague. Not unlike the way it..._tingles _at the edge of the senses when there are Wardens nearby. And that gives me hope that Wardens, at least, can solve this quickly.

The mayor is, of course, overjoyed to see us, if surprised that I came myself. He's so visibly relieved to have the Commander of the Grey's personal attention that I can't bring myself to explain I'm mostly here because I was dying of boredom back at the Vigil.

"So, Mayor Valemont, where might we find the farms that suffered from the corruption?" I ask instead.

"Oh, they're all out to the south of the village," he explains, fingers tapping together nervously. "Near the woods."

Jerin and Velanna share a look.

"Something to share with the rest of us?" I hint.

"There are several caves in those woods, Commander," Velanna replies, digging through her pack until she finds a map of the area. "I can show you. Any one of them could conceal a tunnel, or even just leftover darkspawn scavenging for food."

"Alright, you can show me later. Maybe start marking off where you think these caves are? Mahariel, think you remember well enough to help her?"

"Aye," he nods, fingers drumming against the hilt of one sword.

I glance at the mayor. "D'you have somewhere they can spread out the map and get started on that as we talk?"

"Of course." With jerky, nervous movements, Valemont show them to a side table, hastily transferring bundles of papers to the floor. "There you go."

As the Dalish pair get the map situated and begin marking off potential cave locations, I press Valemont for more details. "So, when did the corruption first show up, and how?"

He purses his lips in thought. "Oh, roughly a month ago? Devlin's boys found the carcass of one of their sheep on the fringes of their pasture land. All of the wounds showed signs of darkspawn corruption."

"And how did they know what that looked like?" I press. The symptoms and signs of Blight are not something most farmers know, in my experience.

Valemont smiles tightly. "The people of this village lost enough family and friends to the 'spawn during the Blight, their taint is something even children recognize on sight."

"Ah." I clear my throat to cover my embarrassment at forgetting something so obvious. "So, then, walk me through the rest of the sightings and their locations. Let's see if we can find a pattern here."

"Of course, Warden-Commander." Valemont pulls a map of his own out from under some other papers and books on his desk. "In truth, I've been looking for a pattern myself, hoping for one that shows whatever's causing this going _away_ from us, maybe back to the Wilds, but no luck so far." He spreads out the map and shows me the places where corruption's been seen and when. "...the most recent was Hafter's Grove, near the edges of the MaClaren's wheat field-"

"Did you say Hafter's Grove?" Jerin demands, head snapping up.

"I did," the mayor confirms with a nod. "Why?"

"B'cause there's a cave in Hafter's Grove," the Dalish hunter replies, tapping a spot on the map.

"And one near Devlin's farm," Velanna chips in, peering at Valemont's map compared to hers and Jerin's. "That's something for us to check, Commander."

I nod in agreement. "Once you have all the caves you remember marked, make note of the corrupted areas and then you two go get eyes on 'em, see what the terrain is like and if there's any real connection between the caves and the corruption." I glance over at Jowan, who's been so quiet the whole conversation I almost forgot he was there. "We'll start talking to people."

"Don't trust us t' converse civilly with shems, Tabris?" Jerin asks, tone so bland I can't tell if he's serious or teasing.

"I just feel like it would be a waste of your expertise to not have you do the tracking," I reply lightly, tone harmless enough to handle whatever he might have been trying to infer. "Let's get started. We can meet back here in... two hours?"

"Three would be better, if you want us to check multiple sites," Velanna speaks up.

"Okay, three hours," I concede, and look to Mayor Valemont as Velanna and Jerin start marking up their map even further. "Where might we find Devlin?"

"Running the tavern," he replies.

My eyebrows arch. "In addition to the farm?"

"The boys run the farm, Devlin runs the tavern," the mayor explains. "They need all the money they can make."

I link my arm through Jowan's and give him a playful grin. "Well, I guess this means it's time for me to buy you a drink, love."

**oOo**

Honnleath isn't exactly large, so it's not far from the mayor's house to the tavern. And given the time of day, it isn't crowded. The few patrons that _are_ inside peer at me and Jowan with reddened eyes for a few minutes before turning back to their drinks. Except for one man, back in the corner, who continues staring the whole time as we walk up to the counter. It's disconcerting, but I try to ignore him as I catch the attention of the brunette behind the bar.

"What can I get you, Warden?" she asks, grinning at my ill-concealed surprise. "Word travels fast. And we don't get many elves 'round here, if y' don't mind my sayin'. Not hard to put the pieces together."

"Good point," I grin. "We're lookin' for Devlin. Wanted to ask some questions about the corruption out on the farm."

She smirks. "Well, you found me. Devlin Farrow, at your service, but feel free to call me Dev. Our esteemed mayor is the only one who insists on using the full name." She gives a sharp whistle, which prompts a young man-head and a half taller than her but with the same unruly brown hair-to appear out of a back room. "Micah, you at a point where you can step in for a few minutes? I need to talk to these folks about what happened out at the farm."

"Sure, Ma," he nods. "I should have ten or twenty minutes 'fore it even needs checking."

"Duly noted," she acknowledges, nodding in the direction of a table across the room. "Let's have a seat."

As we join her at the table, I can still feel the man staring at us and risk a peek over my shoulder. Sure enough, steely eyes lock with mine over the rim of his mug. I hastily look away, my hand flexing against Jowan's arm.

"What's wrong?" he whispers.

"Just... the man in the corner is staring," I tell him, knowing it probably sounds silly; I'm _the Hero of Ferelden_, of course people are going to stare. "It's weirding me out."

"You in those boots? I'd stare, too," he teases, kissing my temple. "And I'm completely sober."

"Behave yourself," I scold around a grin, lightly swatting his arm as we sit down.

"Oi, Brady, we've talked about this!" Devlin hollers across the room, having taken note of our 'audience'. "No starin' at the other customers! Sorry," she shrugs apologetically, scooting her chair in closer. "He does that from time to time when he gets _really_ drunk. So, what did you want to know?"

"The mayor told us basics; your boys found a dead sheep with signs of the taint. I was just wonderin' if you had any more details that might help us with figurin' this out."

"Right," she nods, playing with a loose lock of hair. "First, you need a little background. When my husband and I met, this was my father's place and he'd promised me I could have it someday. And I was lookin' forward to runnin' my own place. Carsen, Maker bless him, took my independent streak in stride. Said it was one of the things he loved about me, he'd handle the farm, I'd handle the tavern, and any children the Maker blessed us with could pick whether farmin' or tavern-keepin' better suited them." A wry smile tugs her lips. "We had five boys, Warden. Only Micah there liked the idea of tavern-keepin'. The others all like being outside too much. Though it turned out for the best; they've kept the farm runnin' smooth even without their father. Carsen was killed by darkspawn, protectin' our youngest two. James an' Owen are now _intimately _familiar with what taint looks like, as well as they are with the farmland. So when they said they found signs of it... I didn't want to believe them, but I couldn't afford not to. By the time mayor got a letter off to you, five more sheep were dead, and the corner of the wheatfield was tainted, too. I do alright with my tavern, Warden, but that farm's our real livelihood. I don't wanna live in fear that whoever's doin' this will get tired of hasslin' my neighbors and come back to me." She scratches her arm, looking mildly chagrined at how blunt she just was. "And now I sound like a horrible, selfish person."

"Mm-hm, because not wanting darkspawn corruption to taint everything you love and depend on is selfish," I deadpan. "The other Wardens who came with us are checking some of the sites where there were... incidents. We'll figure out what's behind this and get rid of it."

"I hope so," Devlin sighs, sounding relieved. "Feel free to come back any time you have more questions."

"Oh, trust me, I will," I assure her. "Thank you for your time. We'll let you get back to work."

We say farewell and the two of us head for the door.

The staring drunk, Brady, lurches to his feet and blocks the doorway just before we reach it, slurring, "I's... I know you from shomewhere..."

He's staring at Jowan.

"Sorry, no, I don't think we've ever met," the mage replies, shaking his head. "You must be mistaken."

"I _never_ fergit a face," Brady insists, still obstinately in the doorway. "Levyn, right?"

The two of us trade a look. _Maker, this is exactly the kind of complication we __**didn't**__ need._

A/N: Oh, look, a wild plot twist appears! 8D How _serious_ a plot twist, well, that's what next week is for, yes? *evil cackle*


	20. Circles

20\. Circles

"We're walkin' in circles."

"No, we're not!"

"Yes, we are, _vhenan_."

"Let me see that map again." Velanna snatched at the rolled parchment in Jerin's hand.

He relinquinshed it with a small smile and leaned against a tree while she examined it. "Y'know that's not goin' t' show our route, right? Only where things are."

"Hush," Velanna grumbled, waving one hand to shoo away his words like pesky flies. "There, see, the cave is west of the farm."

"We're not headin' west anymore, Velanna." He nodded at the sun's position. "We're goin' kind of _north_west if y' follow. And, we have been walkin' in circles." Jerin stepped to the side so she could _see_ the trunk of the tree he'd been leaning against. A fresh, rough carving of Andruil's Bow was plainly visible on the bark.

She just stared at it for a few seconds. "I..."

"Circles," he repeated, raising an eyebrow. _Do you get my point?_ "Maybe we should try me leadin' for a while."

"Fine," Velanna sighed, handing over the map with neither venom or protest. "I thought I'd be better at this by now."

Jerin sorted his words carefully, or tried to. "There's no shame in not bein' the best at everything, _emm'asha_. You have plenty of talents. Keepin' your bearin's just isn't one of 'em."

Velanna shot him a dirty look. "I will remind you, if it wasn't for my lack of bearings, I never would have found _you,_ and you'd be dead right now."

"So I would," the hunter agreed. "I owe y' my life an' I'll never forget that, but th' fact remains that I am the less likely to get lost of th' two of us." He stepped closer and rubbed her arm, pulling the mage into a hug.

Velanna stood stiff, as if toying with the idea of resisting, for a second or two, before letting him pull her in. She wrapped her arms around his waist. "Perhaps you're right. It does us no good to squander the time the commander gave us for the sake of my pride. Lead on."

Jerin slipped his arm from around her shoulders and clasped her hand instead as they began to walk. "What d'you think are the odds the caves are connected to the corruption problem?"

"Well, given that there are caves within half a mile of at least three of the reported sites, I think it's a pretty good chance," she replied. "But we won't know for sure until we look."

So look they did. Most of the corrupted patches on the farms, along with the animal carcasses, had already been burned to a crisp on their commander's orders. But it was still possible to check for any sign of tracks. Only at the the most recent site did they find any-which made sense-and Jerin set to following them, a worried frown creasing his brow. It only grew more pronounced when the tracks led straight to the cave buried in the heart of the grove.

The two elves crouched behind a small stand of trees and surveyed the cave entrance, waiting to see if there was any sign it was occupied. After several minutes passed with no sign of movement within, Jerin shifted and started creeping closer. When Velanna moved to follow, he stopped her with a raised hand.

"I am a hunter,_vhenan._ Let me hunt," he whispered, a grin quirking one side of his mouth. "You wait back here and make sure there's nothin' in there waitin' t' eat me alive."

"And if there is?" Velanna pointed out skeptically.

"You're good with fire. Light it up. Just... try not to hit _me_, aye?"

She rolled her eyes as he resumed course toward the cave. "Oh, I would _never_ hit you on _purpose_, _vhenan_," she muttered sarcastically as she watched his progress.

All their caution proved to be for naught, however; the cave was empty. As the pair stood in the cave mouth and surveyed the interior, it became very obvious that someone _was_ living here. There was a campfire, a ragged pile of blankets, and animal bones barely a day old. And the Song hung strongly enough in the air to make them both nauseous.

"Jerin..." Velanna managed, wobbling as the Taint's vertigo tugged at her senses.

He looked over at her, face pale under his vallaslin. "We need t' tell the commander. There's someone 'round here runnin' all over Mythal's creation with the Taint."

"Could be part of the problem Honnleath's having," the mage offered, backing out of the cave and dragging him with her. "Maybe we should talk to the Farrow boys again. This... whatever it is started there. Maybe they can give us some more answers."

"If you really think it'll help," Jerin shrugged, glancing at the sun. "We have one more hour b'fore we're supposed to meet the commander. So we could if y' want."

"I want," she nodded, looking at the woods surrounding them. "Which way to their farm?"

"That way," Jerin pointed, chuckling. "Pretty much just a straight line. If you think you can walk a straight line in here."

Velanna made a face and lightly smacked his arm. "That's what I have you for, _da'mi_."

**oOo**

The utter lack of obstacles made it an easy, almost _romantic_ stroll through the woods to get to Devlin's farm. The boy they'd talked to briefly earlier was out front, working to repair a harness that had broken.

"Greetings once more, Owen," Velanna hailed the towheaded farmer as they approached.

Surprise flickered in brown eyes as he looked up. "You're back. James an' I told you ev'rything we remember. What more d'ya need?"

"Our investigation led us to the cave in Hafter's Grove," Velanna began, barely restraining the reaction she _wanted_ to have to his dismissive tone. "Someone is living there, someone with the Taint. Are you _sure_ the sheep you lost were killed by something with claws? Rather than, maybe, a sick man with a knife?"

"Andraste's tits..." he sighed in frustration and set aside the harness. "I watched a darkspawn kill my father durin' the Blight, _Warden_. I know what it looks like when they kill somethin' or some_one_. Yes, I'm sure." He stared at her for a second, jaw tight, before his shoulders slumped and he sighed. "Sorry. I've been failin' spectacularly at fixin' that harness for the better part of the mornin'. I shouldn't take out my frustrations on you, though."

"I'd think makin' repairs would come with bein' a farmer," Jerin commented.

"It _does_," Owen returned, testy note creeping back into his voice. "Ezekiel's always been the one t' take care of these kinda repairs, though, but his wrist's broke right now."

"What happened?"

Owen shrugged. "He got spooked by somethin' in the woods and put his hand down to break his fall when he tripped. Won't give us more details, mostly 'cause Colin and James are already razzin' him somethin' awful."

The Wardens shared a look. "I think we need to talk to Ezekiel."

"Good bloody luck," Owen snorted. "He's been all reclusive and sulky since. Won't even come out to eat."

"We _definitely_ need to talk to Ezekiel," Velanna insisted.

When Owen waffled still, Jerin sighed and made an offer he could barely believe even as it left his lips. "If you try to convince him t' see us, I'll take a shot at fixin' th' harness for ya."

_That_ got his attention. "You know how to do leather repairs?"

"Aye. The halla-keeper in my clan was... a close friend. She showed me how t' do some of th' basics." _So we could spend time together._

"Right, well, you get to workin' on that and I'll show the lady up to Zeke's room."

"Deal," Velanna nodded hastily, no doubt expecting him to object the shem's brusque tone.

Jerin just grunted and plunked down on a stump, pulling the harness into his lap as they vanished into the farmhouse.

_Mythal, I hope this is worth it..._

A/N: So, I planned to resolve the cliffhanger from last week in this chapter, but Jerin and Velanna demanded some attention. Given how long I'd neglected them before this arc, I couldn't really say no. I also wanted to explore how their relationship has changed over time. Velanna is never going to be fluffy, but she gets pretty close when she's alone with Jerin. They're more playful bickering than fluffy banter I have Rahna and Jowan for that.

I know 'vhenan' is pretty well known to mean 'heart' in elvish, but 'da'mi' is 'little blade', which is another endearment, and one Velanna uses a lot, because being called 'little' irritates Jerin to no end. So she gets to be sweet but tease him at the same time. Win-win. And now I promise next week will be back to Rahna and Jowan. I've made them sqirm long enough now. ;P


	21. Fresh Starts

21\. Fresh Starts

For a few seconds, Jowan and I just _stare_ at the weaving drunk. I'm hoping he'll pass out and forget this conversation ever happened. Jowan, on the other hand, is white as a sheet. And we've been standing here long enough people are starting to stare, so I clear my throat.

"Maybe we should step outside for a moment?" I suggest. "Continue this conversation with less of an audience."

Brady blinks at the observers. "Go back t' yer drinksh," he scolds. "Thish ain't none a' yers business."

Only about half of them listen. So he drags his fingers through his hair and gives a resigned sigh. "Fine, fine. Outside we go... But not fer too long, or Dev'll think I'm runnin' out on m' tab."

"Does he look familiar?" I whisper to Jowan as we step out into daylight.

Jowan gives a helpless shrug. "Maybe? Vaguely? I helped enough people while I was going by Levyn I can't remember all of them."

I _have_ to smile to myself at that; even when being actively hunted by the Chantry, this man took serious risks helping people who needed it. Even though I know of at least two occasions it came back to bite him-once it almost got him killed.

But now Brady's looking at me pointedly, so I drag my attention back to the present and squeeze Jowan's hand reassuringly. "So, you know him from somewhere?"

"Not just somewhere," Brady corrects, looking a tad more sober. "The refugee caravan from the Hinterlands up ta Denerim. He kept us safe a buncha times." A bitter snort. "'Course, then the archdemon showed up tryna undo all your hard work. We barely made it out alive." He smiles then. "Jasen still talks 'bout wantin' ta be like you."

Jowan gives a small, dry laugh. "I'm flattered, but tell him to pick a better hero. Someone like her." He nudges my shoulder.

I roll my eyes and nudge back. "I think you work just fine as a hero, _sweetheart_." I glance back up at Brady. "So do you have anything in particular you wanted to talk to him about, or was this just an alcohol induced 'Hey how ya doin'?"

Brady chuckles, looking at Jowan. "Mighty protective lady y' have there."

"Comes with being what I am," he explains, flames briefly flickering across his palm. "And we've both lost enough in life we don't want to lose each other, too. But we are here on rather urgent Warden business, so she's right to question. Was there something important?"

A sheepish grin from the drunk. "More a' the latter, I s'ppose," he admits. "I just wanted t' let you know that my family, at least, still remembers the help you gave us an' we're grateful for the fresh start. If there's ever anything I can do fer ya while yer here just let me know. I work right up at th' mill; real easy ta find."

"We'll be sure to let you know if we need your help," Jowan promises.

Brady smiles almost boyishly before shuffling back toward the tavern door, muttering something about not wanting Devlin to think he's skipping out on paying for his drink.

"How 'bout that," I murmur, squeezing Jowan's hand as we start walking. "I'm not the only person who thinks you're a hero."

He makes a face at me. "We all know you're biased 'cause you like-"

"Love," I correct. "I love you."

"Fine," Jowan grins. "You're biased 'cause you love me. And Brady and Jasen... They don't know what I_was_." He glances down at the scar across his palm.

"Because that doesn't really matter," I counter."Yes, you did wrong things in the past, and no matter how good your motives were, you hurt people who trusted you. But that's not who you are now, and it isn't who you were when you were helping refugees. You _changed_, became better, and are absolutely a hero."

"A change I largely credit to you," he deflects. "I am who I am now because of you, Rahna."

I swallow the first few reactions I want to have, because there are children playing in the streets around us. "That's bull. You were helpin' refugees long before we bumped into each other at that tavern."

Jowan shakes his head, running his fingers through his hair as we skirt a puddle. "No, I mean before that. When... When you let me out, told me to run for it. That was my fresh start. And I figured if someone who didn't even know me saw enough good in me to give me that chance, I should honor it. So, yes, Rahna Tabris, even before I started tagging along with you and Zevran, you were making me a better person."

"I'm sneaky like that," I tease, stepping up on a fallen crate so I can kiss him without stretching too far.

"You are a tricky little minx," Jowan confirm in an undertone, completely ignoring the staring passers-by. "It's one of the many, _many_ things I love about you."

I lace my fingers together behind his neck and grin at him. "You'll have to regale me with the whole list sometime. Never hurts to hear good things about yourself."

He grins back playfully, resting his forehead against mine. "It'll be a long night," he whispers, stealing a kiss. "It's a very long list."

"Well, I have a laundry list of flaws, good to know there's enough virtue in the mix to balance it out," I joke, reluctantly pulling back and hopping down from the crate. Flirty banter with my man is all well and good-and I love it, don't get me wrong-but we _do_ have a job we're supposed to be doing._Business first, pleasure later_, I remind myself. "Do we have time to talk to people in town before we're supposed to meet Mahariel and Velanna?"

"Plenty," Jowan assures me. "At least two hours, probably closer to the full three."

"Alright, then." I survey the shops that line Honnleath's main street. "Let's get started."

A/N: I am so sorry this is going up so late. I totally spaced this morning, and then was out with my mom and sister, and then had to work... So, yeah, sorry it's late.


	22. Unexpected

22\. Unexpected

Whatever Velanna had been expecting as she followed Owen through the farmhouse, the Farrows' dwelling in general and Ezekiel's room in particular weren't it. The house was far neater than she had expected, knowing it was occupied by four men, at least one of whom was barely out of adolescence. It wasn't pristine, but neither was it a filthy cesspool like she'd worried it might be.

Ezekiel, at first, refused to open his door when Owen knocked, until his younger brother informed him one of the Grey Wardens wanted to talk to him. Upon hearing that, the door opened, though Ezekiel was nowhere in sight.

"Play nice, Zeke," Owen muttered as he turned and headed back to work.

Velanna stared at the open door for a moment as the heavy tread of Owen's feet faded down the stairs. She almost would have preferred it for the house to be dark and dank, with narrow, musty hallways. For Ezekiel's room to look like a trap or a cave. It would explain the unease building in her gut.

"You comin' in, Warden?" prompted a voice from behind the door. Softer, higher than she would have expected from a farmer, especially after talking to his brothers. But nothing about this family or their farm had been what she expected-well, other than Owen's bouts of surliness-so it probably shouldn't come as a surprise.

She stepped into the room and the door closed behind her. "Hello, Ezekiel."

There was a soft snort of laughter as he closed the door. "You're a woman. And an _elf_."

Velanna glared at him, despite how far she had to tip her head back to do it. "And yet, somehow, despite those _impediments,_ I manage to do my job just fine," she spat.

The lanky brunet held up one hand in an open-palmed gesture of peace and grinned at her. "Fiery, too. I meant no disrespect, Warden. Just... surprised Owen didn't show you to _his_ room rather than mine."

"I'm taken," Velanna retorted frostily. "And there's this." She raised one hand and let a ball of flame form briefly in her palm. "It would have been entertaining to watch him try, I suppose."

Ezekiel's grin widened. "Not surprised anymore. Little brother has a sense for who's worth tryin' an' who to let pass. I'm sure he picked up that you're all business and not worth the risk, and slotted you into the latter category. I've just... the only Wardens we've heard about were men. _Human_ men. And neither of those describe you, hence my shock. I apologize."

The elven mage raised an eyebrow. "And word of the Hero of Ferelden never reached this... _charming_ backwater? Last I checked, she is both female and an elf."

"And an exception to the rule," Ezekiel countered, not even flinching at her dig regarding his hometown. "At least from what I understand. But I doubt you wanted to talk to me to argue semantics regarding the Wardens. Come, sit, and ask me whatever questions you had in mind." He gestured with his heavily bandaged and splinted arm, winced, and then tapped the seat of a ragged armchair with his good hand.

Velanna sat. "We-my fellow Warden and I-were wondering what exactly caused, well, that." She gestured at his wrist. "It struck us as odd that you wouldn't talk to your brothers about it, and even more so that you've become so reclusive."

The farmer sighed, scratching at the bandages around his hand. "Colin and James callin' me all manner of variations on _fraidy cat_ and _girl_ does not inspire me to spend _more_ time around them, Warden. Or to give them the whole story."

"So there _is_ something you didn't tell them," she prompted.

Ezekiel hesitated, raked his good hand through tangled brown curls. "They wouldn't have believed me, anyway..."

Velanna raised an eyebrow. "The things I've seen during my time as a Warden, your odds are significantly better with me."

He chuckled. "That's good to know."

"So, what did you see?" She leaned forward, the ragged chair creaking under the shift in weight.

"I'm... not entirely sure," Ezekiel admitted. "I _think_ it was a man. The height and build were right for your average human, but the brief glimpse I got of the face..."

"Brief?" Velanna frowned.

"He-if it was a he-had a hood, pulled up and hiding his face. But when I startled him, it slipped down and I got a quick look before I fell and he bolted. I got the feeling he-or _it_\- was just as surprised as I was by our little... encounter."

The elf bit her lower lip, and then played a hunch. "Ezekiel, where was this?"

"Edges of Hafter's Grove, a few days back. Why?"

"We found a cave there that looked occupied, and bore signs of the darkspawn taint. In Hafter's Grove. If that's where you ran into this person or thing, anything, _anything_ you can tell me about them could help in tracking them down," she pressed.

Ezekiel shook his head, lips pursed. "I'm sorry, Warden, that's all I got." He nodded toward the bookshelves in the corner. "And I've been tryin' to figure what in the blazes it could be. I have several books on creatures, from the monstrous to the mundane, many with illustrations. I haven't found anything that looks even remotely close to what I saw." A small laugh. "That's the other reason I've been so reclusive; I've been _reading_. It may not be a common practice for my brothers, but they know I do it _frequently_. Nothing ominous there."

It was Velanna's turn to laugh. "I suppose the timing just seemed suspicious. You have a strange encounter in the woods, and then refuse to leave your room afterward? That sounds like something out of a frightening tale to me."

"Eh, good point. Especially right now, with everyone so on edge, I guess I see what you're gettin' at."

"I am glad to see there's nothing sinister at work," Velanna said as she stood. "Thank you for what you were able to tell me, and if you remember or discover anything more, please let us know."

She left with Ezekiel's promises to do so in her ears, and the warning twist still in her gut.

**oOo**

One thing I learn very quickly, as Jowan and I work our way down the main street, is that no one aside from the farmers has ventured very far from the clustered buildings that make up this town since the corruption started appearing. While this is a wise move, as it kept the corruption from infecting any more people and spreading, it also means anyone who doesn't own a farm is less than no help. Most of them are extremely apologetic about this and promise to let us know if they learn anything. Some are defensive when I start probing, and I get kicked out of a couple places-once strictly for the "crime" of being an elf. The proprietor doesn't even let me ask any questions, ignores me when I inform her I'm a Grey Warden, just unceremoniously bundles me back out into the street.

So Jowan deals with her instead, and I take the jackhole who clammed up when he learned Jowan's a mage. The results are still the same-a whole lot of nothing. Disgruntled and disappointed, we head back to Mayor Valemont's to meet up with Velanna and Jerin. Maker, do I hope they had better luck than we did.

**oOo**

They did. As I listen to Jerin describe the cave in Hafter's Grove and the signs it was occupied by someone with the Taint, my stomach flips. When Velanna shares the results of her conversation with Ezekiel Farrow, the flips turn into knots.

"This sounds more like a _person_ got tainted and nobody caught it, but they've retained enough of their mind to isolate themself so they don't infect anyone else."

Jerin shakes his head. "Owen was adamant, the wounds on the sheep they lost were darkspawn claws. Not teeth, not a knife or a dagger, but _claws._"

"So... human-level intelligence, carries the Taint, doesn't want to hurt _people_, but has no qualms killing animals for food..." It hits me with the force of a physical blow, and my eyes go wide. "We're dealing with an Awakened darkspawn."

A/N: To quote a certain storytelling dwarf, "Well. Shit." This is gonna be fun. 8D


	23. A New Development

23\. A New Development

They all stare at me for a minute, no one entirely sure where to go from here. I can practically _see_ the wheels turning behind Jowan and Velanna's eyes as they try to figure out _how_ this happened, and _why_ it took so long for something to show.

Jerin's the one to break the silence. "What exactly _is_ an 'Awakened darkspawn', if y' don't mind my askin'?"

"Oh, that's right, you weren't a Warden yet when we had that fun little adventure," I mutter. "Short version? Some creature called the Architect found a way to create a ritual very similar to the Joining, only using Grey Warden blood to free darkspawn from the Old Gods' song and give them free will. Some of them didn't like that, went crazy, and attacked us, because the Architect needed Grey Wardens. So I guess they figured they'd wipe us out to keep him from allying with us, or using us or whatever. But this was what, two years ago?"

"Closer to three, I think," Jowan chips in.

"Fine, almost three. I just don't understand how or _why_ an Awakened would lay low for two and a half years only to stop caring now. It's weird."

"Very," Velanna agrees. "I wonder if it's injured. You know, it was stealthier and more careful about its movements before, but now is hurt and desperate and doesn't care as much?"

"That's... a possibility," I allow. The only other thing I can come up with is that it _hasn't_ been wandering for two years plus, it's newly awakened, but I _really_ don't want to go there unless we have to. "But I guess we can't really know without findin' and askin' it."

"Wait, they _talk_?!" Jerin demands, utter disbelief in his eyes.

"Part of being Awakened," I nod, smiling thinly. His reaction isn't that different from mine when I first encountered one at the Vigil. "They can talk, and strategize, and basically do anything a human foe can do-think, learn, outwit you."

"Now there's a comfortin' thought..." he mutters, running a hand over his face.

"Hey, we've beaten a whole _army_ of these things," I point out. "I think, between the four of us, we can handle _one_."

"I hope so," Jowan mumbles. "It sounds like a tricky devil from what we've learned."

"Let's just... stay positive, shall we?" I give him a pointed, raised eyebrows look and poke him under the table where Jerin and Velanna can't see. "It's still a darkspawn, which means we can still sense it. Shouldn't be that hard to track."

"Except that if we can sense it, it can also sense _us_, so it'll be able to get away," he counters, ignoring the poke.

"So we follow. It won't get away from us; it can't."

He leaves unsaid the excellent point that it's avoided us so far, instead asking, "So... next move?"

"Well, if it's just one darkspawn, and we won't be looking for multiple sources, we could just stake out that cave, see if it's still using that."

"You mean... just stay out in the woods?" His nose wrinkles in distaste.

"Oh, that's right, you don't like camping," I tease.

"I don't mind camping," Jowan corrects. "I just don't enjoy sleeping outdoors as much as _some people_ do." This time, I'm on the receiving end of the poke to the ribs.

"Aw, was someone spoiled?" I needle, grinning at him.

"Nah, I just had an actual _bed_ the first two decades of my life," he rejoins, raising an eyebrow.

"Would it be a terrible imposition to ask you to stop flirting so we can continue planning our next move?" Velanna interrupts, tone sweet but eyes sharp.

I clear my throat, Jowan cough sheepishly, and we return to the matter at hand. "So, we need to find out if the darkspawn is still living in the cave. Two of us can wait in the woods for that, and the other two can continue investigating the various sites and other caves in the area-"

I'm interrupted by the arrival of Mayor Valemont, who bursts in through the door and promptly almost collapses in relief. "Oh, good, you're here..."

I frown at the man's disheveled state. "What's wrong? Did something happen?"

He nods, actually wringing his hands as he tries to collect himself enough to reply coherently. "Th-There was another sighting."

The four of us are on our feet fast enough we almost knock over the table.

"Where?" Jerin demands.

"The mill," Valemont stutters out. "It went after some of the more remote storage bins. One a' the workers startled it and it ran."

"Alright, Mahariel, Velanna, you two head for the cave, since you've been there before and know the way. Jowan an' I have an in at the mill, so we'll go there, gather what information we can. You watch for signs the darkspawn is back in the cave. Best case, you can get eyes on it and we'll know what we're dealin' with here."

They both nod, Jerin looking like he wants to protest the predictability of the 'Dalish get the woods' assignment. But he keeps his mouth shut and trails Velanna out. Jowan and I aren't far behind. We split off our separate ways with nods of 'good luck' all around.

**oOo**

While the mill is closer in than this darkspawn has come before, it's still toward the outskirts of the town, and secluded enough I can see why it was deemed an acceptable risk.

The few workers and supervisors who hadn't left yet are all milling around, murmuring among themselves. Brady's standing near the edge of the crowd, not looking at all surprised when he sees us coming up the hill.

"Fancy meeting you here," he says wryly. "Betcha didn't plan on runnin' into me again so soon."

"Not so soon, no," I concur. "You sobered up fast. We only saw you a couple hours ago."

He shrugs. "They needed me to cover Dario's shift. Bastard overslept and didn't show _again_. And, well, let's just say Jasen was sick more often than not this past winter and leave it at I got bills to pay. That can sober a man up real quick."

I have to give him that. "So what happened?"

"Honestly, I'm not entirely sure," Brady admits. "Brenner was out in the bins, doin' random quality checks t' make sure ev'ryone was doin' their jobs proper, and then we hear yellin', then an awful loud thud, then nothin'. S' me an' Chambers go to investigate, find Brenner lyin' senseless, lump on her head an' _huge_ gash on her arm. But one a' the nearby bins had been torn open, so we weren't sure if whoever she bumped into attacked her, or just startled her and made her fall."

"Can we see?" I ask.

"I can show you the bin," he nods. "But th' foreman took Brenner in his office t' patch her up and isn't lettin' anyone in 'til he thinks she can handle visitors. Foreman's her brother," Brady clarifies when he sees the mild confusion on my face.

"Ah. Well, let's see what we can find from the scene of the... incident, then." I lace my fingers between Jowan's as we head out into the maze of metal grain bins. This should be interesting.

A/N: Not really much to say this week, this chapter fought me quite a bit. Oh, and also, I'm covering extra hours at work for a coworker who's on vacation again(different coworker, but it still equals extra hours for me), so next week's chapter might be short/late/skipped depending on how my writing time goes. Just wanted to give you a heads up.


	24. Connecting the Dots

24\. Connecting the Dots

Knowing where to find the cave was only half the battle. The other half was getting there fast enough, which didn't look like it would be happening. The rapidly dimming light was making it more difficult to find the best path, though Jerin supposed it would be worse for a shem. Finally, however, he and Velanna did reach the cave.

There were fresh tracks in the mud at its entrance. Velanna's fingers dug into Jerin's arm, making him wince.

"It's in there," she hissed as he tugged her behind the same stand of trees they'd used before.

"Are you sure, _emm'asha_?" the hunter whispered back. "Because I can't tell what those belong to; human, darkspawn, animal of some kind. Shouldn't we be sure first?"

Velanna smirked. "You're the hunter, _da'mi_. I figured I'll let you hunt."

Jerin fixed her with a flat stare. "While you wait back here to roast anything tries to attack me?"

"Exactly. It worked so well earlier. Why mess with a good thing?"

He sighed. "There are times you are the single most exasperatin' woman in the world."

"Only times? Mm, I must be losing my edge," she retorted sweetly, prompting Jerin to growl in frustration as he kissed her on the cheek and started off toward the cave at a stealthy pace.

**oOo**

_Interesting_ is definitely one word you could use for the scene we find. The polite word. The inadequate word. _Disturbing_ fits slightly better.

"Oh, damn," winds up being _my_ summation of things. The grain bins in question are ten feet tall and made of sturdy, almost inch-thick planks. The one involved in this evening's incident has a hole in it half the size of _me. _Obviously who- or what- ever tore this open was incredibly strong. They were also in a hurry and not worried about leaving a mess; some of the broken planks are scattered on the ground, some hang from bin, and some jut out like an angry, ragged line of teeth.

"Well, now we know how Brenner's arm got cut," Jowan mutter, nodding at the red that stains the broken ends of a couple planks from the latter category.

I wince as I examine the jagged break in the board. "That couldn't've been fun..." I scan the rest of the area. The other bins show no signs of violence, the ground is a mess of footprints, and the tracks leading away from the center of the mill operation are... odd. They aren't footprints, nor are they clear enough to be bootprints. It looks like someone wrapped burlap around their feet or something.

"Rahna?" Jowan begins hesitantly.

"Mm," I grunt, crouching to look at the tracks more closely, wishing in vain for Nathaniel. He's much better at this than me.

"I don't sense Taint."

I almost lose my balance as it hits me-he's right. There's not the faintest tingle of the vertigo I've come to associate with Taint. "Maybe it wasn't here long enough? Or if it was wearing gloves..."

"It still seems off," he mumbles under his breath.

"You're right, it does," I agree. "But darkspawn-especially Awakened ones-and weirdness seem to go together, so I'm not ruling anything out just yet."

"Covering all your angles?" he teases, nudging something with the toe of his boot.

"Yep. Whatcha got there?"

"Not sure." Jowan bends to pick it up, flicking loose hair out of eyes as he straightens. "Looks like maybe part of a buckle... or something like that. Here."

He holds it out and I stand to take it from him, dirt crunching under my boots as I close the gap between us. It does look like part of a buckle-a dirty, corroded, rust-pocked buckle. "Okay, I think we need to go insist on talking to Brenner. We need some answers only she can give us."

"You wanna tangle with the protective brother who happens to be foreman?" Jowan raises an eyebrow.

"It's not so much that I _want_ to as I'm gonna _have_ to. I understand painfully well wantin' to protect your family-emotionally, physically, and every way in between. But we need answers, and since she's the only one who was there, we have to talk to her. So I'm _willing_ to tangle with the brother. Not gonna enjoy it at all, though."

"When you talk to him, I'd start with the 'I understand protecting your family' part, and segue from there into needing to talk to his sister," he advises.

"Good plan," I concur. That was actually exactly what I'm planning to do. "Let's find Brady an' see if he can get us in."

Hand in hand, we set off to find our inside man in the still-milling crowd of workers.

**oOo**

The cave was empty. Jerin felt silly for his stealthy approach when there was no one here for all of three seconds before a more urgent fact took precedence. _There was no one here._

The hunter muttered a curse under his breath and gave a sharp whistle to let Velanna know it was safe to approach.

"Where is it?" she demanded upon entering the cave, looking around as if expecting their quarry to magically appear for her. "There are no recent tracks out of here, Jerin, _where is it_?"

"I don't _know_," he growled back. "I was hopin' y' could provide more light so we could, perhaps, search the place more thoroughly."

Shooting him a sour look, Velanna murmured the words of a spell and the head of her staff flared with light. With the cave thus illuminated, the two elves set about looking for clues where the darkspawn might have gone. Given how the muddy tracks faded out not far past the entrance and the walls all looked solid, it appeared to be a frustratingly short search.

Until Jerin found a fissure in the wall, one that would be a tight fit for a human, but he could slide through easily enough. "Velanna, over here!"

The fissure led to a tunnel, which quickly widened to an easily-traversed passage. The two of them shared a look of horrified revelation. "The caves are all connected."

Velanna swore viciously. "I thought the caves connected to the Blight-spread as convenient hiding places, but if they're _literally_ connected... We need to tell the commander."

"What, without at least tryin' t' follow it? It doesn't have much of a head start, Velanna. We could catch it, end this," Jerin argued.

Velanna stared at him as if he'd grown another head, or perhaps lost the one he had. "Are you serious? No one would know where we are!"

"So leave them a note, scratch a trail with your staff, but let's _go_!"

"No, Jerin, remember why we were the ones to get the cave? No one else knows where it is," she pointed out.

"Nonsense. I'm sure plenty a' th' shems in th' town know how t' find it. Come on, 'Lanna. We're givin' it more time t' get away."

With a huge sigh and an 'I'm going to regret this' look, Velanna caved. "Fine. She handed him her staff. "You start, leave a trail. I'm going to mark up the wall so they can follow, and then I'll catch up."

Jerin stole a kiss before acceding. "See y' soon."

Velanna nodded and waved him off, and they both set to work at their chosen tasks.

**oOo**

It was trickier than I expected to talk my way past the foreman. But I do manage to wheedle my way into a short conversation with Abigail Brenner. I'm hoping my definition of 'short' doesn't differ too much from her brother's. The woman I want to talk to is sitting in a back corner of the office when Jowan and I enter, hunched over and staring blankly at the bandages wrapped around her forearm, fingers working slowly in and out of a fist.

"Brenner? Can we talk to you for a minute?" I ask quietly. She looks like she's still in shock. "I'm Rahna, and this is Jowan. We wanted to ask you some questions about the monster you saw."

Her head comes up, wide, scared brown eyes meeting my gaze almost reluctantly. She murmurs her first sentence so quietly I can't hear her. When she sees me raise an eyebrow in confusion, she repeats herself. "Call me Abby. What didja want t' know?"

"The creature you saw, out in the grain bins, can you tell me what it looked like? Where it went?" I don't want to press too hard, but those are the answers I really need.

She surveys my black and silver armor, Jowan's clothes, with a dubious expression plastered across her face. "Why d'you care?"

"We're Grey Wardens, and we're pretty sure what you saw was a darkspawn," I reply, gently as possible.

Abby's quiet for a long moment, fingers twitching and fumbling together nervously before she nods. "That sounds about right. It looked... mostly like darkspawn we saw during the Blight. Just... maybe... a little more... human? Do they... look like that sometimes?"

"Sometimes," I confirm. "Not a lot."

She rakes a hand through her hair. "I... It startled me, more than anything. I was checkin' the bins for holes, or signs someone was stealin', or anything, came around a bin and _bam_, there's this.. _thing_ eatin' the grain. I scared it, too; it jumped and ran off. That's when I hurt my arm. It surprised me when it jumped up, so I pulled back, lost my balance and fell." She runs her fingers over the bandages. "It ran off through the woods, but I think it was headin' for the Farrows' farm."

"Well, that doesn't make sense," I mutter. From what we know, the cave in Hafter's Grove is closer, and its 'home base'. It doesn't make sense that the darkspawn would head in the opposite direction. But she doesn't need to know all our suspicions. I clear my throat. "Thank you, Abby. You've been very helpful. Oh, does this look familiar?" I hold out the broken buckle.

"No." She shakes her head. "Is that from the darkspawn?" I only saw it for a second. It did jangle when it ran away, though. Like buckles."

"Thanks." I pocket the buckle and head for the door.

"Do you want me to do something for your arm?" Jowan offers abruptly.

Abby raises an eyebrow. "You _do_ talk. And, do something like what?"

"I'm a mage," he explains. "I... I could could heal it for you, if you're worried about it affecting your work."

She nods eagerly and holds out her injured arm. "I'd like that. Please."

He smiles and sits next to her. "Now, it might feel a little weird. That's normal."

She smirks. "Weird is normal?"

"In this case, yes," Jowan nods, giving a small chuckle.

As I watch him heal her arm, I hope fervently that someone can help us find the Hafter's Grove cave. There's some new information we need to give Jerin and Velanna.

A/N: So, yeah, sorry about missing a week, but work did get crazy, and one of the family cars also chose last week to go on the fritz, which meant me also getting pressed into service as a taxi driver for Mom and the sisters on occasion. I think it's funny, I decided to have Velanna and Jerin come along on this mission because I felt bad about how long I'd been neglecting them, and I can feel them slowly taking over this story arc. I just love them, okay? XD Jerin was one of my favorite Wardens to run through DAO(in no small part due to the Courage of Zevran armor mod and ensuing near-invincibility :P) and I love the relationship dynamic he and Velanna have. They grouse and get sour with each other-and she does love to needle-but when it comes down to it, they do have each others' backs.


	25. Pursuit

25\. Pursuit

After talking to Abigail Brenner, it takes us almost an hour to find someone who both knows where the Hafter's Grove cave is and is willing to take us there. He introduces himself as Eddin, and he can't be more than fourteen or fifteen-prime age for doing reckless things like deliberately going to a darkspawn's lair. In keeping with that, he seems more curious than anything else, peppering me and Jowan with questions about darkspawn until I remind him we're trying to be sneaky.

After that he's quiet, simply pointed out which way we need to go, shortcuts through the underbrush, things like that. He proves to be a very good guide-good enough I start wondering if he's elf-blooded to be able to see in the dark so well. I have no idea if that's how it works, but I've never met a human capable of seeing in the dark like he can. I hold tight to Jowan's hand the whole time, helping him avoid walking into tree branches or tripping over rocks as best I can, and planning to tease at least a little about humans not being able to see in the dark. Despite my help, he does still trip a few times, barely keeping his feet each time, and I decide to save the teasing for tomorrow.

"Here we are," Eddin whispers, crouching behind a clump of trees and nodding toward a nearby cave. "Only cave in all a' the grove."

"Thank you," I whisper back. "We can manage on our own from here."

"Thanks, Warden," he nods, and vanishes into the darkness. Soon as he's gone, Jowan snaps his fingers, summoning a small flame, which he cradles in his palm.

"What are you _doing_?" I hiss, glancing toward the cave. There's no sign of movement, or light, or _anything_ from within but I'd really rather not be spotted. It would make this more difficult than it has to be.

"Just checking..." he mumbles back, rolling up one pant leg and gingerly probing his shin.

I giggle, watching him work. "You know bruises prob'ly won't show up this fast, right?"

"I'm more worried about one actually bleeding," he shoots back, looking relieved that that's not the case.

"Y'know, it amazes me sometimes how you can be such a baby about things like bruises and scrapes, but then take down a pride demon single-handed while pretty much bleeding to death without a word of complaint."

"A little mystery for you to solve," he teases. "But later. Right now we need to find Velanna and Jerin. Pass on what Brenner told us."

I nod. "That was good thinking, by the way; healing her arm. How'd you know she was worried?"

Jowan shrugs. "Working in a mill is a physical job, so it made sense she'd be worried about something like that interfering. Plus, I know firsthand how badly those injuries can hurt."

"Mm. Y' ready to get on with this?" I nudge, eyes still fixed on the dark mouth of the cave.

"Uh-huh. Why's it dark?"

"That is an excellent question, and hopefully one we'll have an answer to very shortly," I reply, snagging his sleeve as I begin edging toward the cave. If Velanna and Jerin are in there, we should have seen some sign of it by now. I'm beginning to worry what might have happened to them. Only one way to find out.

**oOo**

The passage had more twists and curves than his vallaslin, making Jerin very glad for the dirt floor and the long, winding track Velanna's staff had left along it. They would have gotten lost for sure without that.

"This is ridiculous," he muttered, batting aside cobwebs.

"You're the one who wanted to come down here," Velanna pointed out, brushing an insect of some kind off her shoulder.

"No, I mean, the darkspawn didn't have _that_ much of a head start. We should have at least seen _some_ sign of it by now. Tracks, or torn cobwebs, or _something_."

"Well, there I can agree with you," the mage concurred. "Even Awakened darkspawn aren't usually all that particular about covering their tracks."

"What if it didn't come this way?"

"Then we're in trouble, because there are entirely too many other options," she replied.

"Well, how much longer do y' want t' go b'fore we give up?" Jerin asked.

Velanna bit her lower lip and thought for a moment. "Five more minutes without any sign, and we can go back for the commander and her mage."

"You don't like him very much, do you?" Jerin commented, bemused.

"I don't like a lot of people," she deflected. "Especially shems. Now, do you want to spend our entire five minutes discussing racial biases, or do you want to find a darkspawn?" She pressed her lips together tightly and marched into the darkness ahead.

Eyebrows raised at her touchiness, the hunter followed. "Velanna, remember t' drag your staff so we don't get lost."

She grunted and pointedly dug the butt of her staff into the ground as she continued rapidly on.

"'Lanna, calm down. It was just an observation. I'm not intendin' t' take it anywhere."

"Well, good. 'Cause I wouldn't indulge you if you were," Velanna muttered. "Please... just... drop it."

"I'm trying to," he replied. "Consider it dropped." He watched the tension bleed out of her posture. "Let's turn left here and see what we find."

She nodded. "Sounds good to me."

What they found was a passage somewhat straighter than the previous ones, not that that was saying much, with far fewer cobwebs stretched across it.

"That's promising..." both elves muttered as a slight breeze reached them from somewhere up ahead. If they were nearing another exit, maybe there would be some trace of their quarry here, or maybe even the darkspawn itself. With that thought in mind, Jerin shifted almost seamlessly into a more stealthy gait, which Velanna imitated as soon as she caught on to what he was doing.

And sure enough, they hadn't gone far when Velanna hissed," There's someone up there."

"I hear them," Jerin whispered back, slowing his pace even more. He could feel the mage nearly vibrating with impatience, but part of being a good hunter was not scaring off your prey. They finally reached the last curve between them and the-approaching, Jerin realized-individual and rounded it with weapons drawn.

And nearly ran into the torch carried by the approaching figure. The elves swore, dodging back, and the figure yelped, recoiling instinctively as well.

"Wait, don't!"

Velanna almost dropped her staff. "_**James?!**_"

The youngest of the Farrow boys pushed back the hood of his cloak and gave a sheepish grin. "I can explain, I swear."

A/N: In which the author almost forgot elves can see in the dark(again. Seriously, why is that so hard for me to remember?!), Velanna's temper makes a reappearance, and we meet another of the Farrows. I love this family, okay? xD Also Velanna's... issues(for lack of a better word) with Jowan are A)not new, and B)to be explained later. How much later I don't know, but it will happen.


	26. Famous Last Words

26\. Famous Last Words

"So, explain," Velanna demanded, crossing her arms and not-quite glaring at the blond farm boy who stood before them.

James wedged his torch into a wall crevice. "I..." He hesitated, grimaced, ran his hand through his hair again. "I just wanted to help them."

"_Them_?" Jerin pressed. "Who do you by 'them'?"

"There's two of them. The... man didn't talk much and kept his face covered. But his friend explained that he has scars he's ashamed of, and his voice... well, it hurts him to talk. An' Ed's pa doesn't talk much on account of gettin' caught in a barn fire a year or so back, so I figured it made sense."

"Why do they need help?" Velanna cut in before he could ramble further.

"The girl had been taking care of gettin' them supplies, since she doesn't look so, y'know, scary. But she got sick, and he's been tryin' to provide for them without scarin' people, which means sneakin' stuff at night-"

"Stealing, in a other words."

James made a face at Velanna's accusation, but didn't deny it. "Only enough to survive."

"And does his... foraging have anything to do with the signs of darkspawn taint in the area?" Jerin asked, not at all surprised when James noticeably hesitated before answering.

"I dunno... maybe?" he mumbled, shoulders hunching defensively. He kicked at a pebble.

"_James_."

"Probably, alright? For all I know, his scars are from a darkspawn, an' maybe he has their taint enough to spread it..."

"James, we can't help you if you keep lying to us," Velanna said bluntly.

"Yes, fine, he's a darkspawn!" James blurted in frustration. "But he's different! He's not like the normal ones, the ones that... that killed my pa. And the girl wouldn't've stuck with him so long if he was all bad."

"Why _has_ she stuck with him?" Jerin interjected.

"I dunno, I didn't ask for their life stories or anything," James muttered. "Whatever her reasons, she's very... gentle. With him, with me."

Velanna frowned. "With _you_?"

He nodded. "Let's just say she's the first Dalish I've met-aside from you two-who didn't try to kill me on sight. Then again, you looked pretty ready just n-"

"What was her name?" Velanna demanded, face white in the torch's glow.

"Huh?"

"Her _name,_ James. Did you ever hear the Dalish girl's name?" She grabbed his arm and stared intently at him.

"Velanna, what-" Jerin began, but she held up one finger in an impatient silencing gesture.

"I didn't..." James sighed and bit his lip in thought. "Senni, Sera, something like that-"

_"__**Seranni**__?_" the mage supplied, fingers digging into his arm.

"Yeah, maybe... You're hurtin' my arm, an' I got work to do later, so maybe you could let go?" He pulled against her grip, and Velanna released him.

She was still pale, but something that looked like excitement colored her eyes. "Can... can you take us to her, do you know where she is?"

James eyed her skeptically. "Yeah, sure, I'll lead two _Grey Wardens_ to the elf girl and the harmless _darkspawn_ I found. I know how _that_ will end."

"She's my sister, you idiot!" Velanna snapped. "I've been looking for her for almost three years and if you know where she is, I need you to _**show me**__!_"

Jerin rested a hand on her arm, trying to calm her enough she didn't accidentally light James on fire. She shook him off.

"You two don't look like sisters," the blond muttered sulkily, rubbing his arm.

"And you resemble all of your brothers?" she shot back.

"Good point," he conceded. "Describe her... tattoo thing for me-" a vague gesture at her vallaslin- "and I'll take you to her." She did so in short order, and James nodded. "Alright, then. Follow me."

**oOo**

It took long enough to get out here that when we don't immediately find Velanna and Jerin, I refuse to turn around and leave without looking for them first. "I mean, you heard Eddin; this is the only cave in the grove. This _has_ to be where they were going."

"Then why aren't they here?" Jowan points out as she stand in the mouth of the cave, a cautious bloom of light emanating from his staff.

"I don't know, that's why I want to look around," I explain. "Maybe they wound up tracking the darkspawn and left a clue so we can follow them."

"Something like that?" He points at the arrow scorched into the wall.

"Yep, that'll do," I confirm, approaching the wall. "Velanna must've done this... Now, where are you pointing..." It doesn't seem to be aiming anywhere, except along the wall. Until we walk closer, the shadows shifting as the angle of Jowan's staff light changes. _That's_ when I see the fissure in the wall, just wide enough to slip through. "Oh, damn."

"What?" One of Jowan's eyebrows arcs in confusion, until he sees the small space. "Ah. Well, if they were following a full-size hurlock darkspawn, you'll definitely fit." I punch his arm. "Ow!"

"Okay, but _how well_ am I gonna fit? What're the chances we get stuck? What if we can't find them? What-"

"Rahna, Rahna, _breathe_." He goes down on one knee so we're more eye level, cupping the side of my face with his free hand. "Deep breath, in and out. Just focus on me."

I follow the instructions, pulling in several deep breaths as I concentrate on his face. _Girl could get lost in those eyes if she let herself..._ I let myself, and it helps. Gradually the encroaching claustrophobia fades away. I brush a kiss against his cheek. "Thanks, love."

"Don't mention it." A lopsided grin. "I need you to be the fearless leader."

I laugh weakly. "That may be trickier than usual this time."

His thumb rubs against my cheek. "I have faith in you." He kisses my forehead as he stands and takes my hand. "Besides, you've got me. What could possibly go wrong?"

I giggle, this one sounding more real. "Famous last words, right?"

"I think I'm offended," he teases.

"Don't be," I return, eyeing the narrow gap. "I'd say the same thing to anyone."

"Aw, and here I thought I was special..."

I know _exactly_ what he's doing with this steady stream of banter, and I appreciate the distraction. But we have to go through that hole in the wall sooner or later. Might as well get it over with.

"C'mon. I think you're skinny enough, you shouldn't have a problem," I rib. He just makes a face at me as the two of us inch through the fissure.

We do both fit without too much trouble, and I'm greatly relieved by two things once we're through: the narrow tunnel doesn't stay narrow for long, and there's a clearly visible furrow trailing down the passage, probably from Velanna's staff.

"Well, at least they'll be easy to follow," Jowan remarks glibly. "No need to worry about getting lost."

"Thank the Maker for small blessings," I snark.

We follow the trail in silence, for the most part, though I can tell Jowan is both fascinated and perturbed by the realization all the caves are probably connected. To our surprise and dismay, the furrow ends abruptly just before the passage veers off in two different directions.

"You want to split up?" Jowan asks, eyes on the ground to look for clues.

"No sodding way," I shoot back. "Let's just... pick one and see where it goes."

The one we pick doesn't go far before emptying into another cave, with a similarly tight squeeze to exit. We backtrack to check the other one, but it splits in three not far past the original Y, and I have no desire to get _lost_ underground. I'm not happy about conceding defeat, but the claustrophobia's coming back with a vengeance so concede we do, and exit through the cave to wait and see if they reappear. Hopefully, unscathed.

A/N: So. There's a twist. *cough* One that we will further explore next week. Leaving Seranni's fate as a big ? in Rahna's game is the one thing that made me almost bring Velanna instead of Anders to Drake's Fall, but I really wanted him, so Velanna's gone all this time not knowing what happened to her sister. Now she can get some... closure's not really quite the right word. Reassurance? Just knowing Seranni isn't dead.

And Rahna is reminded once again that her greatest enemy is not the darkspawn or the Blight. It's tight spaces(thank you, Soris. Thank you ever so much =P). Fortunately, Jowan knows what to do when she starts having trouble.


	27. Seranni

27\. Seranni

The route James led them down was convoluted and confusing enough that Jerin finally gave in to temptation.

"How in the name of Mythal's tears do y' find yer way through without a map or trail markers of some kind?" he asked, more than a little incredulous.

"Believe it or not, some humans do actually have a good sense of direction," James shot back. "Also, Owen and I used to chase each other around in here. When we were kids. Trust me, one time gettin' lost in here is all it takes before you ensure it _never_ happens again."

Jerin grunted his acceptance of the explanation, and turned his attention back to Velanna. She still looked a little pale, eyes feverish with excitement. "Safe to say you're looking forward to this, huh?"

She nodded, brushing her fingers through her bangs. "_Three years_, Jerin. I've been looking for her for almost three years. Of _course_ I'm looking forward to it. She's my sister. I want to know how she's doing, where she went. Why I couldn't find her." She reached out and took his hand, linking her fingers between his. "I was actually looking for her when I, er, stumbled upon you and your friend."

Jerin felt a muscle in his jaw twitch at even the vague mention of Tamlen. He didn't want to think about Before. Adjusting to the Wardens was hard enough without dwelling on what he'd lost when he joined. _Tamlen. Hahren Paivel's stories. Cracking jokes and trading wild stories with the other hunters around a campfire. Maren drifting off with her head on his shoulder..._

He forcefully shook off the memories and raised Velanna's hand so he could kiss the back of it. "And I'm forever grateful that y' decided savin' my life was more important than trackin' her down."

"I'd lost the trail at that point anyway," she demurred, waving off his praise and peering at him suspiciously. "Are... Are you alright?"

Jerin nodded, giving her hand a squeeze. "Just a little envious, is all. You _found_ your sister, or, well, almost have. You get her back. But I can never get back my best friend, my brother."

"I am sorry, Jerin," Velanna murmured. "I would have tried to save him-"

"I know," he stopped her. "It's not your fault he was worse off than me, that he attacked you. I just miss him is all. Same way you've spent the last few years missin' your sister."

James stopped ahead of them. "Okay, this is the part where I need you to keep quiet so I can explain to them that you're friends."

"Sure," Jerin acknowledged, biting the inside of his cheek as Velanna squeezed his hand hard enough he could feel the bones pressing together. "Wouldn't want any misunderstandings." He held Velanna back a couple paces as the farmer rounded the curve ahead.

They heard the quiet murmur of voices, a startled feminine gasp followed by "Here?" and James trying to remind the woman in question that she was _sick_ and belonged in _bed_.

Apparently, she didn't listen, because an incredibly _pale_ figure came flying around the corner. "_Velanna_?!"

Velanna dropped his hand and lunged forward. "Seranni!"

The sisters slammed together in a hug that nearly knocked Seranni off her feet, and probably would have, if she hadn't folded her arms around Velanna's neck in a hug.

"What's this I hear about you being sick?" the mage demanded, releasing her sister in order to try and examine her.

Jerin felt a chill run down his back at his first glimpse of Seranni's face. Darkspawn taint marred nearly all of the visible skin, her sunken eyes muddied by its corruption as well. Gaunt cheeks and thin blonde hair completed the living example of a ghoul's progression. The only thing more surprising than Seranni having the Taint was that Velanna didn't seemed fazed by it.

"Velanna, it's nothing," Seranni was assuring her sister when he returned his attention to the conversation. "It's just a fever. I'll be better in no time. And _Lin'sila_ has been taking care of me in the meanwhile. As has James." Her clouded gaze flicked to him and she grinned. "But who's this with you, sister dearest? Finally started playing well with others? Or is he an exception to your rule?"

Velanna flushed, gaze darting between Seranni and Jerin. "He... He's a fellow Grey Warden, so I would have to play nice with him even if I didn't want to." A smirk lobbed in his direction. "Fortunately for him, most days I want to."

Just for that, he strode forward the few paces that separated them and kissed her soundly, ignoring Seranni's squeals. "And fortunately for you, most days I want to as well," he whispered.

Her hands lightly gripped his shoulders as she blinked at him, trying to recover her equilibrium.

"Wow, you actually left her speechless. I'm impressed," Seranni commented, earning a glare from her sister.

"Very funny," Velanna grumbled. "But there are far more important things to discuss than my love life. Like that." She pointed at the figure half-hiding in the shadows of the curving tunnel.

"What about him?" Seranni hugged her arms in against her chest, looking instantly defensive. "Like I said; he's been taking care of me. He's harmed no one. There's no reason for you to fear _Lin'sila_."

_Lin'sila_. An elven word, one that meant student, pupil. And the creature itself was certainly keeping its distance, lending credence to her words.

"Seranni, it's a _darkspawn_! How did you even come to be traveling with it? And _why_?"

"I found him not far from the human city, shortly after your commander killed the Architect." A reproachful look. "We both lost our purpose with him dead. And Velanna,_look _at us. D'you honestly think anyone would have allowed even me within ten feet? We both knew what it meant to be outcast. So we decided to travel together until we found a new purpose." Seranni doubled over in a coughing fit, and both Velanna and James instantly moved to help her. She tried to wave them off. "I'm... fine."

"No, you're not," James argued. "You need to lie down. You can keep talkin', but I warned you what would happen if you used up too much energy." He didn't even wait for her to protest or Velanna to back him up, just scooped Seranni off her feet and carried her around the bend in the tunnel. "You can follow, if you wanna keep talkin' to her."

"You bet your boots I want keep talking to her," Velanna muttered, eyeing the darkspawn with suspicion as she stalked after James and her sister.

Jerin couldn't honestly say he felt any more inclined to trust the creature, and waited for it to shuffle down the curve before he started walking, assuming almost a rearguard position as they all trooped down the tunnel.

A/N: Hey guys, sorry this is so late. My internet was out Sunday through Tuesday evening, and ffnet wouldn't let me log in until now.


	28. Tricky Situation

28\. Tricky Situation

I've been doodling intricate patterns in the dirt and watching Jowan play with fire spells for a worryingly long period of time when we finally hear the shuffle of footsteps and murmur of voices approaching. Both of us look up expectantly.

Jerin's the first one to wriggle through the fissure and come into view. He looks surprised to see us for only a moment. "I take it y' found th' cave an' the trail, then?"

"Yep." I nod, playing with a loose wisp of hair near my ear. "Couldn't figure out where you got off to, though..." The teasing comment I was about to make-along the lines of getting lost on purpose to find time away from the flat-ear and the shem-dies in my throat when Velanna emerges looking stunned. "Is everything okay?"

She nods, but slowly. "Fine. Everything's... fine. J-James can explain." She gestures vaguely over her shoulder as a lanky, towheaded human follows her out of the hole in the wall.

"If everything's fine, why do you look like you just ran full-tilt into one of the Vigil's walls?" I frown.

Jerin clears his throat. "I can answer that one. We found her sister."

My eyebrows rise for my hairline. "You found Seranni?! Where? And how? And-"

"It's a rather complicated explanation," James cuts off the flow of questions. "That's my house there-" he points toward none-too-distant twinkling lights- "I think we'll be much more comfortable discussing things there than out here."

Given the choice between 'dark cave' and 'indoors' for having the necessary conversation, it only takes about a second to make up our minds and follow James to his house.

**oOo**

It's late enough all his brothers are in bed, or so he tells us. The lights we could see from the cave are lanterns left in the kitchen windows.

"We do that if one of us is still out when the rest turn in for the night," James explains. "It's partially so we can find our way back if the weather's lousy and partly so we know we're probably gonna be gettin' interrogated in the mornin' regardin' where we were."

"And what're you goin' t' tell them?" Jerin asks as we gather around the table. "I assume they don't know that you're bringin' food an' water an' such t' an elf with the taint an' a _darkspawn_."

My eyebrows go up. "Yeah, I'm gonna need you to start at the beginning, please."

James chuckles. "T' answer Jerin's question first, I have a sweetheart in town. I'll just say I visited her-which isn't lyin'; I w_as_ visitin' her b'fore I went to check on Seranni."

"She's sick," Velanna supplies when I frown in confusion. "Not the Taint, something about the way the Architect manipulated it her, it hasn't gotten too much worse since the last time I saw her."

"Really?" That surprises me, but then, so did talking darkspawn and archdemon dreams at first. "And the darkspawn with her...?"

"Talks," Velanna confirms. "She said she found it near Amaranthine City not long after you defeated the Architect and the Mother."

Alarm bells are going off in my head. "This darkspawn, did it have a purple scarf or hood? And did it have a name?"

Velanna frowns in thought for a moment before nodding. "It did have a purple hood-like covering. As for its name, Seranni's been calling it _Lin'sila_. It's an elven word," she explains, tone only_slightly_ condescending, "It means student, pupil-"

"Disciple?" I interrupt.

She and Jerin trade a look. "That would be the closest word in elvhen, yes."

"I've met that one before," I inform her. "It's the messenger the Architect sent to warn us when the Mother was attacking the Vigil. It wasn't hostile, and fought alongside us to save the city, but I never did check to see what Constable Aiden did with it after the battle..."

"Apparently, he just let it go. Seranni and this Disciple have been traveling together for the past couple years. She was usually the one to get their supplies, but then she took ill." Velanna's hands fumble together nervously as she talks. "When she did, the Disciple had to start getting their food. Commander, the point when she got sick and when the blight reappeared in Honnleath coincide perfectly."

"So this darkspawn lookin' for food is what's been causing all the trouble here?" James asks pensively. "If I'd known..."

"If you'd know, what?" Velanna demands. "You wouldn't have helped them? Would have just let them die?"

"No, I-" he sighs, eyes on the table rather than the bristling mage. "I... don't know..."

"What he would have done is less important than what we're going to do now that _we_ know," Jowan speaks up before she can go off on the young farmer.

"Yeah. I understand your concern for Seranni, I _really_ do, but Velanna, the blight's already killed two people and a handful of livestock," I point out. "We need to figure out some kind of solution that doesn't involve continuing to endanger the people of Honnleath. Especially danger from the very thing we're sworn to protect them against."

"How?" Velanna demands, spine rigid with worry for her sister. "How are you going to do that without harming Seranni?"

"Well, we can start with them stayin' in the cave. _Both of them_. If James knows how to find them, he can bring food, water, and anything else the may need. Beyond that..." I yawn. "We'll sleep on it and decide in the morning. It's gettin' really late."

"D'you have a place to stay?" James asks.

That's when it hits me that, no, technically, we don't. We went straight to Mayor Valemont's when we arrived, and we've been working all day-longest day _ever_-none of us thought to see about getting rooms somewhere. "Uh, no, actually. What're the chances of findin' a room in town at this hour?"

"Better than you might think," he laughs quietly. "The only rooms are the ones above Mum's tavern, and she stays open pretty damn late. But we have a couple a' extra beds here you could use if ya want."

"A couple really is all we need," Jerin mutters, scrubbing his eyes with the heel of his hand.

"Makes sense for tonight, at least," Jowan agrees around a yawn.

"It looks like we'll be taking you up on that," I grin, feeling my own exhaustion more keenly now that I'm focusing on it.

"Alright, then." James stands, motions for us to follow, and leads the way upstairs to the spare rooms. The bed isn't much-barely big enough for two people-but Jowan and I are too tired to care. We tumble into it, snuggle close together, and are both fast asleep in moments.


	29. Simple Pragmatism

29\. Simple Pragmatism

When morning comes, I'm still stumped. It's a tricky enough situation even without the stick through the wheelspokes that is Seranni being here.

After staring at the wall for almost an hour, counting the warps and knots in the unpainted boards, one hand running absently up and down the arm Jowan's draped over me, I finally sigh and wiggle free to climb out of bed. Jowan-as always-is so deep asleep he doesn't even realize I'm gone, at least not beyond rolling onto his stomach almost immediately.

I smile slightly as I move to sit in the chair by the window-the only furniture in the room besides the bed. I need something different to stare at while I think, and the view of the treeline this room affords will do nicely. The chair creaks slightly as I settle into it and hug my knees into my chest.

The Disciple is not intentionally hurting people, it never has. On this count, at least, the Architect was right and successful. A _peaceful_ darkspawn. However-and this is a _big_ however-it still spreads the Taint. Still blights crops, animals, land, _people_. My mind goes to the widow I talked to yesterday, eyes red as she struggled to keep her voice level, tried to be strong because she _knew_ her children could hear us. Her husband will never come home again. Because he was tainted while helping clear the infected land.

My long ago words to Nathaniel echo in my mind. _"If only a fraction of them don't stay in the Deep Roads, the Taint will spread with them... I don't want to see the population of Thedas turned into ghouls."_

If Seranni's taint really isn't spreading and _she's_ not blighting the land, maybe we need to kill the Disciple. I _hate_ this part of being a Warden. Even if it _is_ a darkspawn, killing innocents is not something I enjoy doing.

_But if it's spreading the Blight by its mere presence, is it truly innocent? _a voice nags at the back of my brain. _And it's a __**darkspawn**__. You're supposed to protect them world from them as well as the Blight, remember?_

_What if Seranni needs it?_ I retort mentally. _If I effectively doom her sister, Velanna will never so much as__** look**__ at me again._

_And how many lives is Velanna's cooperation worth? How many deaths are acceptable for one Grey Warden's sentimental attachment to her former life?_

_Maybe once Seranni is feeling better we can relocate them somewhere less populated, like the Anderfels, or Kocari Wilds, or the Frostbacks..._

_Or you could just kill the darkspawn like a Grey Warden should._

I curse under my breath, raking a hand through my hair as I stare at the trees. I wish Jowan hadn't stayed so quiet last night. I could _really_ use a less emotionally invested opinion. The rest of us care too much. For Velanna, it's _her sister_, Jerin wants Velanna happy, and I know all too well the lengths people will go to for family. I've _gone_ to those lengths, I can hardly blame Velanna for doing the same. Jowan's the only one out of the four of us without a personal stake in one outcome or the other.

"I hate this," I whisper to my knees. Pragmatically speaking, the Disciple is a darkspawn and is spreading the Taint, which has resulted in at least two deaths. It doesn't matter if it's doing so on purpose, as a Grey Warden, I have a responsibility to kill it. We gave it a second chance and it's still-however unintentionally-killing people.

But I'm_far_ too emotionally driven to make a strictly pragmatic decision. We'd have to find some way to either take care of Seranni-maybe she could come back to the Vigil?-or enable her to take care of herself before I could even _think_ about killing the Disciple. I need to get James to take me to visit her, so I can see how she's doing, in regards to both the Taint and her current illness. I know Velanna said the Taint hasn't spread since the Silverite Mine, but Velanna is the least unbiased source imaginable on this particular issue. I _am_ possessed of enough pragmatism to not just take her word for it.

Since that's about the only course of action I can settle on for _sure_, I decide to go see if it's possible to carry out right now. I know it's early, but this is a farm. Farmers are usually up early.

Sure enough, I bump into one of James' brothers at the bottom of the stairs. He greets me with a smile that crinkles the corners of his sky blue eyes. "Mornin'. Didja have a good night's sleep? I'm Colin, by the way."

"Rahna. Nice to meet you, and yes, I did, thank you. Would you happen to know where I can find James?" I roll up my sleeves and brush hair out of my eyes.

"He's out in the barn with Owen," Colin replies. "Prob'ly answerin' a slew of wuestions regardin' where he was last night and how he happened t' bring four Grey Wardens home with 'im."

I can tell from the look he's giving me that he's curious as well, and I figure it can't hurt to indulge him a little. "He... sort of bumped into us bumped into us on his way back from visitin' his lady friend. We were so caught up in our investigation we'd lost track of time."

"Even after it got dark?" He raises an eyebrow.

"Mmhm. Two of the four of us are mages," I explain. "They provided illumination."

"Ah, well, friendly piece of advice, Rahna; James will likely be a little cranky, bein' short on sleep an' Owen havin' subjected him to questionin'."

"Thanks for the warning," I laugh. "I'll get out of your hair now." I head for the barn, pulling my hair back in a loose braid as I walk.

When I reach the barn, it's very obvious Colin's warning was a wise one; I can almost feel the tension rolling off James, and his brother looks rather surly as well. "Time for a break?" I joke.

"That might not be a bad idea," James mutters, shooting a meaningful glare at Owen's back.

"Hey, you're the one who's been gentleman enough t' make Pa proud the whole time you've courted Maisy. D'ya _really _expect me to swallow some bull about you stayin' there far past dark-not to mention when her parents normally go to bed?" his brother fires back.

"C'mon, Owen, we didn't _do_ anything. Just talked." James almost angrily pushes up his sleeves. "Or are you callin' me a liar?"

"All I'm _sayin_' is it's about as likely as Pa risin' from the dead that you were there the whole time, an' I don't understand why where you_actually_ were is such a big damned secret!"

I garb James' arm as he begins to retort. "Okay, yeah, you two need some space to simmer down before you continue this conversation. James, walk with me."

He follows with only minimal resistance. "What did you need, Warden?"

"I wanna talk to Seranni," I inform him, releasing my grip on his arm. "Can you take me to see her?"

He nods, running a hand through his hair. "Why not? I need to take them food, anyway, if both of 'em hafta stay in the tunnels. And Owen at least is suspicious already, so sure. Let me get together some supplies and we'll be off."

It doesn't take him long to gather some basics that he's mostly sure his brothers won't miss, and then we set off for the cave entrance. James follows the wandering path through the tunnels that even if I _was_ good with directions, I would be totally lost. Me being_me_, I couldn't find my way out if all the lives in Thedas depended on it. But finally we reach a point where one last curve leads to a wider section of tunnel-a cave within the cave-where a dark, raggedly clad figure and a familiar-if paler than I remember-elf sit engaged in quiet conversation. They look up as we approach.

"Hello, Seranni," I greet Velanna's sister. "I need to talk to you."

A/N: Hey guys, sorry this is going up kinda late. I had to leave the house really early this morning and haven't had a chance to post until now.


	30. Just Checking

30\. Just Checking

The blonde elf stares at me for a few seconds, no doubt caught off guard by the abruptness of my arrival-not to mention my demand or request or whatever you want to call it. Then she nods, pats the ground beside her. "Of course, Warden. What did you want to talk about?"

I sit cross-legged next to her, casting a wary look at the darkspawn as I do. "Just wanted to see how you're doin'. Make sure you didn't just put on a happy face for your sister yesterday."

Seranni chuckles knowingly. "You wanted to make sure the Taint hasn't gotten worse, in other words. Wouldn't Velanna have sensed if it had?"

"Maybe. And maybe _if_ she did, she would ignore it. Velanna is a horribly biased source when it comes to you, Seranni. Not that I can blame her. Yes, I wanted to see if the Taint was worse, just to be sure. I really do want to know if there's anything you need, though. I know how the whole 'happy face for family' thing works; I've used it myself," I assure her, which earns me a laugh.

"I have done that before," she acknowledges. "But not this time. Truly, all I need is food, water, and to get over this fever." She shifts restlessly. "James says that both me and _Lin'sila_ have to stay in here. Why?"

I take a deep breath. I wish I didn't have to do this with an audience, but they both deserve an answer. "Because with you being sick and the Disciple having to forage for food, it's spreading the Taint. It's free of the Old Gods' call, maybe, but it's still a darkspawn. And I don't want there to be any bloodshed before I've had a chance to at least try and resolve things. We haven't told the mayor yet or anything, but people know there are Grey Wardens here."

"And the more concentrated your investigation seems, the more sure they'll be that you've found the cause..." Seranni goes even paler and looks over at the Disciple. "Is he going to be in danger?"

"It's possible," I nod, tracing patterns in the dirt with one finger. "That's part of why I think it's best you both stay here. The rest of why is we're already up to two deaths from the Taint, and I'd rather there not be any more."

"People are _dead_?!" she demands, eyes wide as she stares at the Disciple. "You said you were careful!"

"Do not be getting angry," it protests, raising one hand as if to ward off a blow. "This- I was careful! Only was taking from the edges of fields, flocks. Nowhere close to people. This one is not wishing harm on anyone!"

"The blight you carry tainted the land," I explain, gently as I can bring myself to, considering this _is_ a darkspawn. "That's why you have to stay in here. You can't infect Seranni and James will just have to keep his distance."

It's quiet for a moment. "Perhaps you should be killing me."

"No!" Seranni burst out, face flushing scarlet with the strength if her emotions. "You haven't done anything to deserve death! You're my friend! And-And I need you!"

It gingerly rests one hand on her arm. "No, you do not. You are being strong, and kind, and would be managing fine. And the James would be taking care of you." It looks over at James expectantly.

He nods. "Long as I can, anyway. My brother's already suspicious. I dunno how much longer you'll be safe here. Owen knows this place almost as well as I do."

"See? I _will_ need you if we have to travel," Seranni almost begs.

"This is not why the Father freed us," the Disciple replies, tone almost sad. "He was wanting to end the fighting between us and men. If I am still killing, than the Warden-Commander should be killing me."

"I'm not killing anyone, not yet," I interject before Seranni can protest again. I'm a little worried that getting so excited is bad for her, with being sick and all. "I'd really rather not do it at all, to be honest." _Duty as a Grey Warden be damned. There are other ways to protect people._ "For now, if you stay in here and James is careful when he brings you food, you can't get anyone else sick."

It still doesn't look too sure about this, but Seranni is relieved enough for both of them.

"Thank you, Warden," she breathes.

"With that settled, on to my other question. Namely, what have you been up to the past couple years?"

She looks at me quizzically. "Velanna didn't tell you? With how excited she was, I have to say I'm surprised."

"She just passed on a vague outline; you joined up with the Disciple near the city and you two have been travelin' since, nothin' more."

Seranni laughs. "Because there _isn't_ anything more. _Lin'sila_ and I are not adventurers, Wardens. We don't crave excitement or danger. All we need to be happy is companionship, food, and shelter." A dark smile. "We've actually made do without the last one before."

A piece clicks into place and I understand why she so vehemently opposed the idea of killing the Disciple. Once they move on from here, the darkspawn will be her _only_ friend. There's a reason she listed companionship first, and it makes me even more determined to find a way to resolve this with no more death. Of any kind.

"I bet you two are very close, considerin' your circumstances," I mumble.

She nods. "We're all that's left of the Architect's operation from the silverite mine. No one else understands. Not even Velanna."

It's a blink and you miss it moment, but she sways slightly, and I decide it's time to go. "Well, I should probably let you get some rest. I've bothered you enough for one day, and Velanna'll prob'ly want to come visit you after she's awake."

"Probably," Seranni chuckles. "Good luck with the rest of your day, Warden."

"Thanks. Rest up." I uncurl myself from myself from my sitting position and stand.

James is quiet as we leave, at least until we've covered enough distance the hidden pair can't overhear us. "You do realize I live on a _farm,_ right? My brothers are gonna need my help, 'specially with Ezekiel's arm busted. Owen's tryin' to do the work of two people-part of why he's so cranky. I can't keep takin' breaks to run you people out here. B'sides, every trip in there increases the chances of someone-probably Owen-findin' them."

I snort. "Good luck tellin' Velanna that. She'll probably storm off and try to find the cave on her own."

"I'm sufficiently warned," James deadpans. We're both silent the rest of the way back, each lost in our own thoughts.

I'm more than a little surprised when, upon returning to the farmhouse, I find all of the other awake-even if only just barely in Jowan's case. I chuckle and press a kiss to his temple. "Mornin' sleeyhead."

He just grunts and snags my wrist, tugging me around to sit in his lap.

I laugh as I let him. "I think somebody needs food. And then we really do need to talk."

A/N: Rahna fought me a little on this chapter. She doesn't like the tangled moral dilemma I've tossed in her lap. xD But she hasn't had to make any really, truly devastatingly hard calls during her time as a Warden. They all keep getting taken out of her hands by other people's actions(from Alistair killing the archdemon up through the peasant mob attacking. Even the Architect wasn't a particularly_ hard_ call to make), and I want her to face a choice between ruthless Grey Warden pragmatism and her own (mostly)merciful personality just to see what she does. She's not happy with me. xD Which means she and Jowan will probably get some fluff in one of the upcoming chapters. *giggle*


	31. At an Impasse

31\. At an Impasse

Even after everyone's eaten and had chance to really wake up, none of us are particularly eager to speak first. It's like we all know what _should_ be done, but no one wants to be the one who actually _says_ it. Especially considering Velanna has a personal stake in things.

Finally, I reluctantly accept that-as the leader-this responsibility falls to me. "So... if anyone has a solution in mind that _won't_ involve killing the Disciple, I'd love to hear it."

"Is that seriously what you're considering, Commander?" Velanna bursts out. "Leaving Seranni alone, to fend for herself?"

"Only because I can't see any other option," I reply. "Believe me, it hasn't _actively_ done anything wrong and I'm extremely reluctant to kill it, but it's still spreading the Blight. So, like I said, if you have suggestions, I'd love to hear them."

"What about helping them relocate? Once Seranni is feeling better," she points out.

"Okay. Do you know anywhere they could go where it's livable but not inhabited by enough people to worry about either a repeat of here or someone spottin' them and gettin' a mob together?"

She's quiet, obviously thinking hard.

"Benign or no, it's still a darkspawn," Jerin speaks up. "Wouldn't it be better t' make other arrangements for Seranni-maybe she could come back with us-and just kill it?"

"The one problem with that is since it's a talking, _sentient_ darkspawn, it and Seranni have formed a friendship of sorts. Think about it, Mahariel; she has the Taint. It may not be spreading in _her_, but I'd bet my favorite boots she could pass it to others. That means it's her _only_ friend. And her reaction to the idea of killing it was about what you'd expect," I point out, playing with my braid.

"You _said_ something to her?! With her being sick?" Velanna's head snaps up, eyes glinting with fury.

"No! I explained why both she and the Disciple needed to stay in the cave, and the Disciple was the one to bring up the option of killing it."

"See? It's even volunteerin'," Jerin mutters. "I say we kill it. A darkspawn is a darkspawn, an' just b'cause this one has better manners than most doesn't mean it's not still a threat."

Velanna glares. "And so, what, we should deprive my sister of the only truly understanding friend she has?"

"Look at it the other way," Jowan finally speaks up. "We should let more people die of the Taint just so Seranni can keep one particular friend?"

"No one asked you_, __**shem**__,_" she growls, glaring at the table.

"Velanna, I _asked_ for opinions," I remind her. "I want to hear from _all of you_. We need to work this out."

"Well, it's fairly obvious what _they_ want," she snarls, pushing angrily away to her feet and storming off.

" 'Lanna-" Jerin calls after her, then sighs and stands as well. "I'll go talk to her."

"Should we start to worry if you're not back in an hour?" I offer, only half-joking.

"Nah. I'll be fine," he shakes his head. "There's somethin' deeper botherin' her, an' I just need t' figure out what it is."

After he's left as well, I turn to Jowan. "Is that really how you feel?"

"I don't know how I feel," he admits. "It's a hard choice, no denying that, and I'm pretty sure it's going to come down to you to make it. You know I'll support you no matter w-"

"No," I cut him off, pinching the bridge of my nose. "Much as I appreciate knowing that you'll back me up, whatever I decide, right now, I _really_ need your honest, unvarnished opinion. I don't care what it is, I just need advice 'cause I don't know what to do!"

He silent for a long moment, thumb rubbing across the scar on his palm, before conceding, "Neither do I."

**oOo**

It wasn't hard to find Velanna; she was muttering to herself loudly enough Jerin could hear her long before he laid eyes on her.

She clammed up when he came into view, meeting him with frosty silence.

_Well, that's not a good sign_. He braced himself for this to go badly. "Velanna, what's wrong?"

She gave a harsh laugh. "Do you _really_ need to ask that? After what you said back there? Can't you care about her for my sake, if nothing else?"

Jerin winced. "I _do_ care! I want to help Seranni-"

"Then why push so hard to kill the only friend she has?" the mage cut him off.

"Because _it's a darkspawn_!" he retorted. "And you heard Tabris; the thing is _willin'_ to die! Oh, and last thing, if you'll recall-I said we should bring Seranni back to the Vigil with us! She'll be safe in the Vigil, and Grey Wardens are immune to the Taint-"

"The rest of the soldiers and staff _aren't_," Velanna pointed out. "She'd have to live in isolation and not have interaction-"

"She'd have that anyway," Jerin interrupted, cracking his knuckles. "She's always goin' t' have the Taint, she's always gonna need t' be careful around people so she doesn't get them sick. Wouldn't it be better for her t' live in a place where at least _some_ of th' people can visit, be around her, become her friends, without havin' t' worry about th' Taint?"

"Well, yes, but," Velanna hesitated, arms hugged around herself in a show of more vulnerability than Jerin had ever seen from her.

"But what?" he prompted, stepping closer.

"I can't let her lose anything else!" she burst out. "She's lost her clan, her friends, her health, even her _family_ because of me and my temper!"

Jerin blinked, momentarily unsure where to go with that. "But she hasn't lost all her family; she has you still."

"But I didn't protect her!" Velanna shot back. "The darkspawn took her, and... and I lost her for almost _three years_. It's my fault they were able to take her, and thus my fault she is... the way she is."

"You mean Tainted?" Jerin clarified bluntly.

"Yes. Tainted. _My choices_ have led to one of the best people I know becoming little better than a monster in the eyes of the world." She sighed. "I can't take away the one good thing she has in her life, _vhenan_. I **_won't_****.**"

He had to bite hiss tongue hard to keep from repeating his main concern. "I understand, _emm'asha_." _But it's a darkspawn_. Finally unable to take their distance, he stepped close enough to pull her into a long hug. Even as he felt her stiffen and relax, he had to wonder how they were ever going to settle this.

A/N: Oh, lordy, my kids are not making this easy. :P And Jerin and Velanna are definitely getting a lot more space than I was originally planning to give them, but this is a good thing. My plan for this chapter was to make it a bit longer to make up for not posting last week, but then all my glorious free time gotten eaten up by car trouble(Mom's, not mine, but I still had to play chauffeur) and other projects, and I barely got this finished in time, so sorry about that.


	32. The Little Stuff

32\. The Little Things

At an impasse and unable to come up with a firm solution we all agree on, we wind up going our separate ways for the rest of the morning. Velanna heads into the woods, claiming she's going to make sure the Taint hasn't spread off the farmland. Jerin was cajoled-I'm not entirely sure how-into helping with leather repairs. I have no idea where Jowan got off to, and I decide to stroll around the Farrows' fields that were tainted, see if there's any kind of pattern to the spread of it.

This winds up bringing me close to where Owen and James are working. Owen doesn't so much as bat an eye at my presence-not sure if he's ignoring me , or just _really_ focused on his work-but James gives me a smile and heads my way.

"So, got anything definite yet, Warden?" he asks, leaning against the nearest fence post and raking sweaty hair back from his forehead.

"Nah, not that quickly," I shake my head and sigh. "Maker, I thought this was going to be _easy; _an animal with the Taint, that I could just put out of its misery and save the day all in one go. But now there's _complication_s. Velanna's sister is here, the darkspawn technically responsible isn't _bad_ per se..." I trail off with a groan. "And of course, since Seranni has the Taint, we can't have her living on her own. If she can't interact with people to work or buy food, it would be as good as a death sentence."

James is staring almost contemplatively at his hands. "So, if... if her passing the Taint wasn't a concern?"

"Well, it would get considerably easier to figure this out," I shrug. "We could bring her home with us and she could live with us at the Vigil, or in Amaranthine... why?"

"I just... she didn't pass it on to me," he points out, half-shrugging and showing me his arms. Aside from his tan and the liberal spattering of freckles, there's nothing of note. No Taint, not a single hint of greying or corrupted skin. My head snaps up and I stare at his face. It shows first in the eyes most of the time, and his are clear and deep chocolate brown. No clouding, not bloodshot, none of the telltale marks of someone with the Taint. For the first time in this mess, I allow myself to hope just a little.

"How... how much have you visited her, touched her, been around her?" I demand, forcing myself to temper my hope with caution.

"Enough to worry about catching her fever," he replies. "So I think if I were gonna get it, I'd've got it by now."

Owen hollers something along the lines of _Get back to work, you lazy ass,_ and James grins, lightly slapping the fence post as he pushes away from it. "That'll be my cue. Talk to ya later, Warden."

I watch him walk away, trying to process what this means, and then bolt to the barn. I need to tell someone, and since I don't know exactly where either Velanna or Jowan are, that honor goes to Jerin by default.

"James doesn't have the Taint!" I announce as I burst into the barn.

He starts, then shoots me a quizzical look. "Was that a concern, Commander?"

"No, no, no." I tug on my braid. "He's been interactin' with Seranni a lot for almost a month an' hasn't caught th' Taint! She doesn't pass it to people!"

His expression brightens noticeably. "So she could live at th' Vigil? Without gettin' people sick?" He sets aside the harness he was working on. "I have to tell Velanna."

"Okay, d'you know where she went?"

"Not precisely, but I'm a hunter, Tabris. I know how to track. I'll find her."

"Shouldn't you finish first?" I point out, nodding at the half-repaired harness. He looks so torn I find myself offering "I'll take care of it" before I know I'm saying it.

"D'you know how?" Jerin asks, eyebrow quirking upward.

"I'll figure it out," I shrug. He looks unconvinced. "I'm a quick study and if it looks too hard, I'll leave it for you or Owen."

"Fine." Jerin starts to leave, then turns back. "Aren't y' glad I didn't take y' up on tha' bet?"

I snort. "_You_ should be the one grateful for that, Mahariel; I'm pretty sure thigh-high black leather boots look a damn sight better on me than they would on you."

He laughs. "Guess we'll never know, yeah?"

"Nope. I wouldn't give 'em up, anyway."

And eyebrow rises again. "Y' like wearin' 'em tha' much?"

"Yep." I grin. "And I like what me wearin' 'em does to my boyfriend even more," I add, purely for his reaction-and because Jowan's not around to go scarlet.

It's totally worth it. Jerin's face screws up and he waves a hand as if to shoo away the words. "That's a bit more information than I needed, Tabris."

"I know," I smile sweetly. "It's just fun."

He chuckles. "How does Jowan put up with you?"

I shrug cheerfully. "Lotsa practice. Now, didn't you have something you wanted to tell your girlfriend?"

"I did indeed. See y' later, Commander." And with that, he takes his leave, and I turn my attention to the half-repaired harness he left behind.

_Let's see what I can do with you_...

**oOo**

I'm still working at it an hour later, determined to make all the times I've pricked my fingers worth it-not to mention the crick in my neck-when I hear the door open.

"There you are," Jowan sighs in what I'm pretty sure is relief.

"Where'd you think I was?" I ask, amusement creeping into my voice as I peer up at him through wisps of hair that have escaped my braid.

He coughs sheepishly. "James may've gotten me worried you tried to visit Seranni again and got lost in the tunnels or something."

"Is this due to somethin' he said, or just you bein' a worrywart by nature?" I tease, rubbing at my neck with one hand.

Jowan bites his lip. "Little of both, but mostly the second one."

"C'mon, Jowan, don't you trust me to know my weaknesses by now?" I prod, grinning as I continue massaging my neck.

"Oh, I know you _know_ them," he says, circling behind me to start working at the tensed muscles. "You just have this habit of not letting them stop you."

"That's called being brave," I mumble, barely biting back a moan as he lets magic trickle into the already-divine backrub.

"Or crazy," he ripostes. "So, yeah, more than a little relieved you're in here rather than in _there._ Though I do have to admit surprise that you can sew."

I roll my eyes at the teasing note in his voice. "Well, Shianni did all the cooking; I had to get s_ome_ of the household workload-_OoohMakerthatfeelsgood_."

Jowan chuckles and kisses my forehead when I let my head fall back against his chest. "If you remembered to take breaks like a sane person, you wouldn't _have_ this problem."

I smile at the gentle, teasing rebuke. "Yeah, but then I wouldn't need one of these fabulous back rubs, and I enjoy them a lot."

"You can always just _ask_ me for one," he points out, kissing the tip of my nose this time. "I'm not gonna say no."

"Can't keep your hands off me, huh?"

Rather than blush, he just grins. "Nope. Is that better?"

It takes a second to realize he means my neck. "Oh, um, yeah. Thanks." I spin on the stool and reach to pull him in for a kiss, but he grabs my wrist and studies my hand. My fingers twitch and and instinctively curl in as if trying to hide all the marks from poking myself.

"Rahna..."

"Okay, so leather's a little harder to work with," I shrug, trying to wriggle free.

"Hold _still_," Jowan admonishes, pressing his palm flat against mine so all our fingers match up. There's a small, gentle pulse of magic, and when I-reluctantly-pull my hand back to look, the red dots are all gone.

"I... I thought you weren't s'pposed to bother with magic for the little stuff," I mumble.

He tips my chin up, smooths back a wayward lock of hair, and gives me that kiss I wanted before whispering, "Helping you is never little."

_Okay, ser mage, when exactly did you lose all the awkward?_ I can't help but wonder.

But he's already pulling back, giving me that lopsided sheepish grin I love. "We should probably see if we can find the others, shouldn't we?"

"Yeah," I agree. "I wanna see if Mahariel's found Velanna yet to give her the news."

"What news?"

I fill him in as we leave the barn, hand in hand.

A/N: So, that's a little bit of progress there. And some Rahna/Jowan fluff. I like writing Rahna/Jowan fluff(but you knew that already xD). Maybe next week we'll get some answers about why Seranni doesn't pass the Taint, and what Jowan was up to(well, actually, that one I know is getting answered in the next chapter).


	33. Getting Loud

33\. Getting Loud

Velanna and Jerin still haven't returned when Jowan and I check the farmhouse, so we settle on the front steps to wait.

The silence stretches long but comfortable, until my curiosity gets the better of me. "So, what exactly were you up to while I was waging war against leather stitchery?"

Jowan chuckles, absently running his thumb back and forth over my knuckles. "Talking to Ezekiel, actually."

"The one brother I haven't met yet? What's he like?" I wriggle closer, pressing myself against his side.

"Much quieter than James, but not gruff-quiet like Owen. It's... it's like he's los in thought."

"So, not as outgoing as Colin, either, then?"

"I haven't run into Colin yet, but if 'outgoing' describes him than Ezekiel's different from him, too."

"Well then, what did you talk about with the Farrow family recluse?" I joke, free hand idly toying with my braid.

"First of all, he's only being so reclusive because his brothers won't stop teasing him about how he hurt his arm," Jowan clarifies. "But, yeah, it was good talking to him. He's much more... scholarly than I expected."

"What, farmers aren't allowed to read?" I prod, shooting him a teasing grin.

"No, not at all, of course they are," he protests. "That's not what I'm saying at all. They just... usually don't choose to, is all. Or don't have _time_ to. So they're mostly like James; wonderful, friendly people with lots of practical knowledge, but less emphasis on 'book learning'. Ezekiel's in charge of keeping the books for the farm, so he has a bit more free time than the other. Free time he fills with books."

"In other words, he's all 'educated' and you enjoyed talking to him?" I'm still half-teasing, but I am genuinely happy if that is the case.

Jowan nods. "For the most part. There's something... off about his room. Nothing I can put my finger on exactly, just... _something_ in there felt a little bit wrong. Still, he has a lot of books, and he's been doing research into what non-Grey Wardens have written about the Taint, so it was a good conversation. Fair warning, though, there were some things he was asking about, I erred on the side of caution and told him I wasn't at liberty to say. So he may ask you."

"Thanks for the warning," I laugh, squeezing his hand. "I'll be prepared."

At that moment, the trees rustle and part nearby, and our missing two Wardens appear. From the way Velanna is beaming, rather than glaring daggers, I'm figuring Jerin told her. I raise an eyebrow at him and he nods in confirmation.

"So, ready to try an' figure out a solution, now that we have this new information?" I ask, reluctantly slipping my hand free of Jowan's and pushing to my feet.

Velanna nods. "It's still going to be difficult, but knowing she doesn't pass the Taint helps a lot, Commander."

Jerin shoots me a look that clearly shows he'll be even more adamant about killing the Disciple now. I can't really blame him, knowing what I do of _why _he's a Grey Warden in the first place, but it's going to make this conversation _very_ interesting.

"So, we discussing this indoors or out?" I ask, offering Jowan a hand up.

"Shouldn't we do outdoors? So they can't overhear us?" Velanna points out.

"Considering Ezekiel doesn't leave his room and the other three are all out in the fields, I think indoors is probably better, if we want privacy," Jowan counters, accepting the hand up. "Long as we don't get too loud."

"Yeah, 'cause that's such a problem with you," I snark.

He takes the teasing jab with a shrug. "I just know this topic gets... heated, for obvious reasons, so if there's a chance we'll get loud, then yes, outdoors is best. Otherwise, inside will give us more privacy."

I weigh the pros and cons of our two options-and the oods we'll get loud-before nodding. "Outdoors it is, then."

"That sure we're goin' t' be loud, Tabris?" Jerin teases.

"There's a good good chance of it," I acknowledge. "Enough for 'better safe than sorry' to apply."

He laughs. "No arguments here."

We're all quiet as we head for the clearing we used earlier. It's far enough away from the house and fields we won't have to worry about one of the Farrows overhearing something they shouldn't, but close enough it's not a terrible walk.

We've barely reached the clearing before Jerin clears his throat. "Well, I'll get this started by saying I'm even more convinced now that th' best course of action is killin' th' darkspawn an' bringin' Seranni back t' th' Vigil with us."

Velanna flinches, purses her lips, but doesn't say anything.

"Velanna? If you see a flaw in that plan feel free to share it," I prompt.

"Why, so they can gang up on me again?" she mutters sourly. "While it does make sense, given that she doesn't pass the Taint, why would she _want_ to come with the people who kill her only friend?"

"'Lanna, we can't, in good conscience, leave that thing wandering around!" Jerin shoots back. "It goes against ev'rything bein' a Grey Warden _means_. An' if we don't do it now, we'll wind up doin' it down th' road, in another town, after it's 'accidentally' killed a few more people."

Jowan sighs, rakes a hand through his hair. "Rahna, I... I have to say I agree with him."

"I _told_ you!" Velanna growls, desperation coloring her eyes. "I _cannot_ take anything else from my sister; I won't. She's lost enough as it is!"

"Velanna..." Jerin reaches to rest a hand on her shoulder, but she jerks away.

"What if it was infecting your clan?" I ask quietly.

"That's... that's completely different!" she protests, cracking her knuckles in agitation.

"Why?" I hate that we're essentially ganging up on her, but her reasoning is sounding more personal than pragmatic, and while I can't blame her for that, it can't be the way we make this decision.

"Because..." she flounders. "Because there aren't many of the People left, and humans are more widespread-"

"So, basically, humans are more _expendable_?!_**That's**_your excuse for why it would be different?!" I can't believe I'm hearing this. "You're willing to let people die to avoid hurting your sister's feelings because there's more of them than there are of you?!" I huff in disbelief and stare at her, hoping she'll contradict me, tell me I misunderstood her, that's not what she meant.

She doesn't. Instead she glares at me as if _I'm_ the one who doesn't have her head on straight and spits, "Why do you care so much about _shemlen_ anyway?"

Jowan's holding me back before I've even realized my hands have curled into fists. "Are you _serious_?! Velanna, you've known me long enough to know I don't care about _races,_ I care about _people_! It makes no difference to me if someone is human, elf, dwarf, qunari, I don't give a damn! And being willing to let people_-__**any**_people-die for the sake of someone's _feelings_ is not going to fly with me!" Jowan squeezes my shoulder and I take a deep breath, force myself to calm down. "We are not turning this into a race issue. I-" Red flashes across my vision at the unrepentant look on her face. "I can't do this right now. You three can keep talking, but I need to walk away."

So I do. I turn on my heel and walk away with swift, angry strides. I don't look back, and I don't slow down until I'm halfway back to the farmhouse.

A/N: Ugh. Contrary to appearances, I do actually like Velanna. Some. Especially after you get her approval up and she gets... softer. But with everything BioWare's given us about her relationship with Seranni and the fact _softer_ doesn't mean her feelings toward humans have done a 180, I couldn't really see her doing anything other than worrying about Seranni and her feelings first and everything else second. Which wound up making her sound a bit racist. I'm not happy about it, but she's refusing to budge from her stance no matter how much cajoling I throw her way. She's a stubborn muse. Grr.


	34. Ezekiel

34\. Ezekiel

I make it all the way back to the farmhouse, my temper only _slightly_ cooled down, before I run into a person. The lanky brunet is standing in the kitchen, trying and failing to open a jar with one hand.

"Want some help with that?" I offer, changing course to head in his direction.

"Sure," he nods, stepping back. He presses his hand against the bandages binding his opposite arm as I open the jar. "Thanks."

"Not a problem," I shrug. "I'm guessing you're Ezekiel?"

He grins. "What gave me away?"

"I met your mother yesterday. She mentioned five sons. I've met the other four, albeit briefly in a couple cases," I reply with a wry smile of my own. "Plus, the arm's kind of a dead giveaway."

"Heh. I guess it is..." Ezekiel concedes. "Do you have a moment to talk?"

"Sure. Jowan mentioned that you might be wanting to talk. I have some time."

"Alright, let me finish fixing some food, and we can talk in my room."

"Exactly how bad did your brothers tease about what happened for you to spend all your time hiding?" I raise an eyebrow in curiosity.

"Colin and James sometimes have trouble knowing when to stop," is all he says. "My room is the second on th' right when you reach the top of the stairs, if you want to head up and find a seat?"

"S'ppose I can do that," I shrug. "Unless you think you'll need more help?"

Ezekiel laughs. "No, I think I can manage. Opening the jar was the hard part."

"Alright, then." I meander through the house, making my way up to his room. Jowan's comment about something seeming off echoes in my mind, and makes me hyper-aware of my surroundings as I settle in a rather worn-out armchair. But despite that, I can't sense anything odd or wrong about this room. The window is well-positioned to let in light, one wall is covered in stuffed-full bookshelves, and the bed is still rumpled and half made, but it just seems like a normal bedroom. Obviously the bedroom of an introvert, but still completely normal. Not to mention rather cozy.

_Maybe Jowan was just being paranoid,_ part of my brain offers.

_Maybe. But paranoid about what?_ the rest rejoins. I can't come up with a good answer, and so just sit in silence, twiddling my thumbs, until Ezekiel appears. "What did you want to talk about?"

"Well, first off, did you find whatever or whoever has been spreading the Taint?" Ezekiel asks as he settles on the bed.

"Jowan didn't tell you?" I frown. I can't really see how letting him know that would be a problem. But then, I _am_ in a relationship with the most cautious worrywart in the history of Thedas.

"The gist of it was 'maybe'," he shrugs. "I got the sense he was playing it real safe with what he told a non-Warden."

"Sounds like Jowan," I laugh. "I love him, but he's an extremely cautious individual sometimes. We do think we've found the source of the Taint, yes. And we are currently working on ways to quickly and safely make it not a threat any more. Thank you, by the way, for what you told Velanna. It helped a lot figuring out what we're after."

"So you know what it is?" Ezekiel sets his plate aside and stares at me eagerly.

I nod. "It's called an Awakened darkspawn. They first showed up a couple years back..." I give him a brief rundown on what happened and why I think there's one here now-aside from the fact I talked to it-and then sit back and wait for his reaction.

"So... there are darkspawn that can _talk_?" is the first thing out of his mouth. Followed closely by "And not all of them are bad?"

"Well, they're not all bad in the sense not all of them have ridiculously high kill drives," I explain. "But even the peaceful ones spread the Taint, unfortunately. The one causing trouble here-we believe-was one of the higher ranking ones who wanted peace. We spared it after the Battle of Amaranthine, and it must've been wandering around 'til now."

"Mm." He silent for a few seconds, absently working the fingers on his bad hand as he eats a few more bites. "Shame you'll prob'ly have to kill it; it could be interesting to learn how a darkspawn thinks."

"It could indeed. But I don't think the Awakened ones are part of the darkspawn consciousness anymore once they've been awakened. They can't hear or sense or feel any thoughts but their own, and their thought process is vastly different when they're capable of reason." I stop myself as it dawns on me what just spilled out in front of someone who isn't a Warden.

As if sensing my chagrin, Ezekiel smiles reassuringly. "Don't worry. I'm good at keeping secrets. I'm just glad to know what it is I... ran into. For a while I was starting to doubt my sanity. A creature like a man but with a monster's face... One of the first things out of Colin's mouth was askin' if I was drunk."

"Well, now you know for sure." I frown as he presses against the splint on his bad wrist again. "You okay? That seems to be bothering you an awful lot."

"It just itches," he brushes off my concern. Then, after a noticeable hesitation, meets my gaze. "...And aches. Are broken bones s'pposed to do that?"

"I... don't know," I admit. "Jowan's a healer, an' so's Velanna. I could have one of them take a look at it."

Another pause. "Jowan would probably be better. Velanna and I got off on the wrong foot and I don't think she likes me very much," he mutters.

I snort. "Velanna gets off on the wrong foot with just about everyone. It's not your fault; she's just prickly. But I'll go get Jowan. Even if pain is normal, there might be something he can do to minimize it."

"That... would be nice," Ezekiel concedes, finishing off his food.

I dash back to the clearing, where my fellow Wardens are still debating the issue at hand, decree a fifteen minute break, and drag Jowan back to the farmhouse.

"Rahna, what's the big deal?" he mutters, actually hurrying to keep up with me.

"Ezekiel's wrist is really bothering him, so I told him you could take a look at it, see if there's anything you can do."

Jowan sighs. "You know good and well broken bones are the one thing that largely have to heal on their own. I dunno what I'll be able to do..."

"Just _try_," I encourage as we make our way up the steps.

And so he does. I peruse Ezekiel's bookshelves as Jowan begins unwrapping the bandages, figuring they probably _don't_ want an audience.

Until Jowan clears his throat. "Um, Rahna, you might want to see this."

"What?" I spin around and approach, my heart dropping to my toes. "Oh, no..."

Right across the joint of Ezekiel's wrist cut two slightly-angled gashes, edges tinged a very familiar dark grey.

A/N: OH BOY. See ya next week. *runs away*


	35. Long Shot

35\. Long Shot

"What?" Ezekiel's gaze flicks back and forth between my face and Jowan's. "Obviously this is bad, but-"

"Ezekiel, that is _darkspawn taint_.**_Bad_** is not a strong enough word for what this is," I correct. "Did you leave anything out when you were talking to Velanna?"

He coughs sheepishly. "I didn't exactly leave it out so much as... tweaked it."

"_Ezekiel_."

"Alright, so, I told her that when I bumped into the... darkspawn, it startled me, I jerked back and fell and that's how I broke my wrist." He rubs the back of his neck with his good hand. "That's not quite what happened. I did bump into it, it did startle me-and vice versa-but the reason I fell was because it grabbed my arm. I jerked away hard, lost my balance, and fell. Put my arm back to break my fall and landed on it at a weird angle. It was a nasty break, and I was so rattled and runnin' on so much adrenaline I didn't even feel it until an hour or two later, so I didn't even think about the possibility..." He looks up at me. "I'm in trouble, aren't I?"

"Yes," I reply. "Big trouble. Why'd you lie?"

He shrugs with one shoulder. "Dunno. Pride, maybe. _Tripped and broke my wrist because I saw a monster_ got me enough grief. Admitting I panicked would've been even worse."

I sigh in irritation. "Well, congratulations, you salvaged some of your pride. Now you might _die_. An' not a pretty death."

"Rah_na_!" Jowan scolds, shooting me a look.

"What? He might! I'm just bein' honest!" I protest.

"No, you're being _blunt_," he retorts, gaze dropping back to Ezekiel's wrist. "b'cause you're annoyed at him. Just 'cause he made a dumb mistake doesn't mean he deserves that."

"Fine, fine. Sorry." I shoot Ezekiel an apologetic smile. "Today's been one long exercise in ruffling my feathers." I look back to Jowan. "Can you tell how far it's spread?"

He's quiet for a moment, one hand glowing faintly with magic as he runs it along Ezekiel's arm. "That's strange..."

"What is?" Ezekiel and I demand in unison.

"Ezekiel, how long ago did this happen?" Jowan asks.

"Mmm... three or four days. Why?"

"It doesn't seem to have spread more than halfway up your arm," the mage replies. He hesitates. "Um, I know this looks bad, and you probably won't like the solution, but since the Taint hasn't spread all that far, theoretically, we could... remove the tainted part and you should be okay."

"You mean cut off my arm?" Ezekiel clarifies, raising an eyebrow.

Jowan coughs. "Well, yeah, but only part of it, and it's that or you die. One hundred percent going to happen."

"Well, when you put it like _that,_" Ezekiel mutters, then lets out a wry chuckle. "Owen will be so _thrilled_ to inherit all the leather repairs on a permanent basis." He looks at Jowan questioningly. "Given how bad this can be, I'm assuming the sooner it's taken care of the better?"

Jowan nods. "The longer you wait, the further it's going to spread. Of course, I do have to warn you that there is a _chance_ it's already spread and I just can't sense it. In that case, amputating your arm isn't going to help at all."

Ezekiel looks up at me again. "He always this cheerful?"

I laugh. "Believe it or not, this is an improvement. He used to be much worse."

"Excuse me for wanting to be honest," Jowan mutters.

"Oh, don't look so disgruntled, sweetheart," I tease, tugging lightly on his ponytail. "You know I love you, but you _are_ sorta fatalistic sometimes."

Ezekiel shifts, staring at his arm. "Do you think we should tell the others? My brothers, your friends?"

"I think we don't have a choice," I reply. "I mean, we chop off half of your arm, I think they're gonna notice."

"Good point," he acknowledges. "That would be hard to miss."

"Oh, and if we get Velanna in here, she knows a spell to help with slowing the spread of the Taint," I add, wishing I'd remembered that earlier. "She used it to keep Mahariel alive for a couple a' weeks before we made him a Grey Warden."

Jowan shoots me a meaningful look and I bite my tongue. That's a little too close to secret stuff we aren't supposed to share with the general public. "It could keep things under control. Y'know, until we can take care of it." I really don't know why I'm having so much trouble talking about this, it's not like I'm new to this kind of thing. But I _am_ having trouble with it, so I clear my throat and mumble something about tracking down Velanna as I head for the door.

**oOo**

Velanna is a lot harder to find this time, given the whole _fifteen minute recess_ thing. But I do find her eventually, in the stables of all places, perched on a stool and staring thoughtfully at the pair of horses closeted and happily munching at some treat or other.

"That was a fast fifteen minutes," she mutters when she sees me, straightening in preparation to dismount her perch.

"That's not why I'm here," I correct. "Though you will still need to get down, sorry. Ezekiel's wrist was giving him trouble, so I had Jowan take a look at it, and... Ezekiel has the Taint. I know you know that spell, the one you used to save Mahariel, and was hoping-"

"I'd use it, to save Ezekiel, too?" she finishes for me, sliding off the stool.

"Yeah," I nod, cracking my knuckles.

"Will it be worth it?" she asks. "I mean, I kept Jerin alive because I knew he was skilled warrior and it would make sense for him to be a Grey Warden. Otherwise, the Taint was advanced enough in him, I would have simply given him the mercy of a quick death."

I raise an eyebrow at how calmly she admits that, but stick to the matter at hand. "Well, Jowan couldn't sense any corruption outside of the injured arm and even that is all below the elbow. I was hoping you could slow it or contain it somehow so it doesn't spread before we can... amputate."

"Will that _work_?" Velanna raises an eyebrow.

"In theory," I shrug. "If the corruption really hasn't spread past his elbow, cutting it out should be possible. And then Ezekiel wouldn't _need_ to join the Wardens. Not that I think he would, anyway."

She sighs. "I'll see what I can do. That spell is very draining. But if it's only a small area..."

"It is. Come on." I know better than to physically tug her after me, but I do gesture for her to follow.

She does, if slightly reluctantly. "Let's get on with it, then."

I can tell she still has doubts, but she's willing to give it a try, and that's good enough for me.

A/N: Okay, I really hate to do this, especially with where things are right now, but I need to take a week or two off from writing cuz of some rl things. Nothing bad, so don't worry, I'm just going to be insanely busy and won't have enough time to write. I've been trying to make it work, but the chapters keep winding up shorter than I want them to be and things are still slipping and I'm stressing out. So I'm just going to take a break and hope things will be back to normal on schedule.


	36. Figured You Should Know

36\. Figured You Should Know

Velanna's spell works exactly as it's supposed to, though she warns that it's a temporary fix at best. With the Taint in Ezekiel's arm contained, for now, we shift focus to figuring out the best way to remove the Tainted part.

It's best, we all agree, if it can be done without the services of a traditional-civilian-doctor, to avoid the risk of someone else catching the Taint. That means doing it ourselves, since the same can be applied to not letting any of his brothers help. Since Jowan is both the better healer between the two mages and the least squeamish at the sight of blood, he gets to be in charge by default. He seems surprised when I admit that-outside the battlefield-I am _not_ good with blood, and in the context of _removing_ a _limb_, I'll be _no_ good.

So I volunteer to go back into town, get us rooms, maybe explain to Dev and Micah what's going on. Minus the _James helping a darkspawn_ part. That's his secret, and I'm not spilling the beans.

"What if I need help?" Jowan asks, looking less than comfortable with the idea of being in charge without me around as a safety net.

"You have Mahariel and Velanna," I point out. "And I'm pretty sure they'll listen to you."

He still looks less than sure, but doesn't protest further. Part of me does feel bad about running out on him, but the rest of me keeps chanting _amputated limb, lots of blood_ over and over in my head, and I can't do it. I make sure to specifically inform Velanna and Jerin to do whatever Jowan needs them to, _without_ questioning-which earns me a disgruntled snort from Velanna-but then I'm out of here.

A little voice whispers in my head as I hurry toward town, hard as I try to ignore it. _Coward_.

**oOo**

It's a nice day, and the walk into town is pleasant enough; though I do find myself reaching as if to grab someone's hand every few minutes before remembering I'm alone.

Dev's tavern looks plenty busy as I approach, and the woman herself barely has time to shoot me a frazzled smile of recognition as she serves up drinks.

"Can I get you anything, Warden?" she asks over her shoulder, setting mugs in front of a pair of tired-looking mill workers.

"Not to drink, no," I shake my head. "I'm too much of a light-weight. But my friends an' I will need rooms. James told us you're the best an' only place to go."

"That boy..." Dev chuckles. "He's the only one who had trouble decidin' which life he wanted 'tween the farm an' tavern. I think a part of him still feels guilty for choosin' the farm, b'cause everyone who meets him mentions how he talks this place up." She frowns slightly "Where'd you stay last night, then?"

"The farm," I reply. "We didn't conclude our investigation for the day until real late, James apparently started an... acquaintance with two a' my Wardens, and he offered t' let us stay there."

The frown turns into a fond smile. "That does sound like James. There's four of you, aye?"

"Yep, and, um, we... could manage with just two beds, if you get my meaning," I joke, hoping I'm not blushing _too _much.

She actually laughs. "Don't worry; the inn's not that full. We can set ya up however you like. We don't really get a lot of travelers out this way. So you can pretty much have your pick." She winks. "I can even do a separate room for each couple if y'like."

"I think I might take you up on that," I sigh, knowing money's not an issue here, really. "Some of us might prefer bein' at least sort of alone with our thoughts after today..." My good mood at least partially dissipates when I remember the other reason I needed to talk to her. "Dev, there's actually somethin' else I need to talk to you about."

"That sounds ominous," she murmurs, catching the attention of the blonde working the opposite end of the counter. "Is it somethin' quick, Warden? 'Cause I can leave things in Carmela's hands for a few minutes, but she's new enough I don't want to overwhelm the poor girl."

"The tellin' I can do pretty quick," I reply hesitantly. "You might need some time to process it, though."

"Well, now you have to tell me, just to get it over with." Dev murmurs a few words to Carmela, who nods, looking only slightly nervous. "Is it one of my boys."

I nod. "Ezekiel's broken wrist... the circumstances of it being broken led to him contracting the Taint." She goes white as a sheet, and I rush to the next part. "However, it doesn't appear to have spread out of his arm, and one of my mages knows a spell for slowing it down. She's using that to contain it until they can amputate. It's not ideal, I realize; a farmer with only one arm, but if Jowan's right and the Taint hasn't spread yet, at least he'll be alive."

"I... thank you for telling me, Warden. Don't s'ppose there's much of anything I can do, is there?" she asks slowly.

"Not really." I shake my head. "We just figured you deserved to know what was going on, him being your son and all. They're actually takin' care of it right now, so just... pray really hard the next couple days that Jowan was right and the Taint didn't spread, and that his arm heals up easily." Mentally I adds that _that's_ gonna be the easy part-two mages with healer's training, infection is low on the list of things to worry about-but I don't tell Dev that. Because I'd have to follow that with admitting how high the risk is that the Taint will still spread. That she might lose a son in addition to her husband. And that's not how I want to end this conversation. So instead I assure her, "Jowan and Velanna are both very skilled mages and very good at healing spells. Ezekiel's in good hands."

She still looks worried, but squares her shoulders resolutely. Alright, then. I trust you, Warden, so if you say they're good enough to get the job done, I believe it. Let's get you set up with rooms, and then when you go back to collect your fellows, you can find out for me how it went."

"Agreed," I nod.

It doesn't take long to get the lodging arrangements worked out, and then I set off back to the farm, hoping if I walk slowly enough they'll be done by the time I get there. I want to get a status report, not catch them in action. So I settle on a pace best described as a mosey, and mentally cross my fingers as I hope for the best, in more ways than one.

A/N: Hey, guys, sorry for being later than I expected getting back. The rl stuff took longer to resolve than I thought it would.


	37. Bad Blood

37\. Bad Blood

I'm prouder of myself than I probably should be when my timing turns out to be perfect. I get back to the farm just in time to catch Jowan pulling on a clean shirt; hands pink from being scrubbed clean and shoulders tight with still-fading tension.

"So, how'd it go?" I ask cautiously. His face isn't betraying anything except weariness, which is understandable.

"Well enough, " he shrugs, rolling up his sleeves until they sit just below his elbows. "Couple points were sort of touch and go, but it's done and Ezekiel is still alive, so I'm considering in a success."

"Knew you could do it," I whisper, tucking wayward strands of hair back behind his ear before tugging him down for a kiss. "An' Velanna and Mahariel cooperated an' everything?"

Jowan nods again. "Velanna didn't seem particularly _thrilled_, but neither of them complained or questioned or anything. It was especially helpful to have another mage there. Particularly since she's good at healing spells _and_ can sense the Taint."

I realize I still have one hand around the back of his neck, bending him down to my level, and let go so he can straighten. "Speaking of the Taint, is he clear?"

Jowan actually smiles. "For as we can tell. Neither Velanna nor I could sense any in him after we were done."

"Good, that's... good," I mumble, incredibly relieved. "I promised Dev I'd let her know when we came back, so it's good that everything went well."

His smile fades, and something flickers in his eyes. "Rahna..."

"What?" I frown.

"I think... I'm going to stay here. The rest of you can go stay at the inn, but just in case there's complications or something, I want to be here. I mean, we _cut off his arm_. Even if that itself went well and we can't sense Taint in him any more, there's still a lot of things that could going wrong. It could start bleeding again, or it could get infected, or-"

"I get it, I get it," I cut him off. "Do... do you want me to stay, too? Help out if something goes wrong?"

Jowan kisses my forehead, chuckling lightly. "After your confession earlier about how you are with blood not on the battlefield, that's an extra sweet offer, and I do appreciate it, but I'll be fine. Since there isn't any more Taint to worry about, one of the other Farrows can help, if the need arises, which hopefully it won't. You take Jerin and Velanna into town, stay at the inn, argue more about the Disciple. I'll manage just fine."

He's convincing enough that I agree to leave him here when we go-albeit reluctantly. I trust him, I remind myself as I head for Ezekiel's room to check in on our patient. He's sleeping-or unconscious, I guess I wouldn't really be able to tell-but his color looks good and his breathing is even. That helps reassure me that Jowan is only staying as a precaution. Ezekiel is most likely fine and will stay that way. I'm just in love with one of the biggest worrywarts in Thedas. And I'll tell Devlin that when I see her. Roughly.

I find Jerin and Velanna on the back porch, both leaning against the railing and neither talking to the other. Apparently, the bad blood between them regarding the Disciple hasn't gone away.

"You two ready to head into town?" I ask, leaning against the doorjamb. Velanna starts before they turn around, making me wonder just how lost in thought she was. "Devlin's got rooms for us'n everything. It'll be more comfortable than the beds here."

"What about Seranni?" the mage frowns, picking at a hangnail.

"What about her?"

"What... what if her fever gets worse and she needs me? What if James can't get away to take them food?" Her eyes are raw windows into her heart. She's really worried.

"Jowan's staying to keep an eye on Ezekiel," I point out. "If anything happens that means Seranni needs a healer, he'll be here."

"I don't-" She cuts herself off, and the way Jerin tenses, eyes darting in search of an exit even as he places a cautionary hand on her shoulder, makes me think I won't like the rest of that sentence.

"You don't _what_?" I probe warily, pushing away from the wall.

A muscle in her jaw works for a moment as she weighs if it's worth it before the words erupt past her lips. "I don't _trust_ Jowan!"

"Why?" I grind out out between clenched teeth. I consider it a sign of personal growth that I didn't immediately fly into a rage.

"I could ask you the reverse," she fires back coldly, ignoring the way Jerin's grip tightens on her arm. "Why do you trust him so much?"

"The multiple times he's saved my life might have something to do with it," I snap, seeing red. "And I actually _talked_ to him and _got to know him_ rather than just judging him by his _race_!"

"You sure got to know him," Velanna mutters under her breath.

"Velanna, that's enough." Jerin tries to pull her away.

"I'm sorry, what?" It's a very good thing I'm not armed right now. "Think _very_ carefully before you continue _that_ line of thought." I shake my head. "On second thought, no. We're not having this conversation now. I _can't_ have this conversation now."

"Afraid he'll hear?" she says caustically. "That I'll hurt his feelings?"

"Velanna, you know what?" I sigh. "I get that you're upset that we seem to be ganging up on you regarding what to do about the Disciple, and I get that you don't like humans, but there's no reason to take all of that out on _him_!"

"This isn't about that," Velanna scoffs. "This is about you sleeping with a _shem_!"

"Which is none of your damn business," I growl, trying desperately to remain at least sort of partially calm and ignore the urge to strangle her with my bare hands.

"Just answer one thing for me, _Commander_." She practically spits the title. "Are you _trying_ to help breed our people out of existence, or do you just not _care_?"

"Is _that_ why you don't like him?" I laugh sardonically. "Damn have you been wasting perfectly good hate. Wardens can't have children, Velanna. Little fun fact Gabriel shared with me. _One_ Warden makes it hard enough, two makes it sodding impossible. Now, if you're done, or even if you're not, go get packed up to head for town. We can continue this wonderful conversation on the road if you insist, but we need to get moving."

She looks ready to continue arguing, but keeps her mouth shut and follows when Jerin tugs her toward the doorway.

My shoulders sag as tension bleeds out from them and the red fades my vision. No one's riled me like that since Zimri left. Muttering to myself, I stalk up to the room Jowan and I slept in to collect my stuff. Jowan's sitting on the edge of the bed, my already-packed knapsack next to him.

"Tryin' to get rid of me?" I tease, reaching for the bag.

He snags my hand and pulls me to stand between his legs so we're basically eye to eye. "Trying to get you off the warpath. No kids, huh?"

I wince as my hands settle on his shoulders. "How much did you hear?"

He shrugs. "Pretty much the whole thing. Velanna doesn't trust me, doesn't like that we're... together, and Wardens can't have children." He pauses, bites his lip as me meets my gaze. "Nathaniel know that last one?"

I nod, linking my fingers behind his neck. "I figured he and Vi deserved to know goin' in. But... the whole thing? And it doesn't bother you?"

"Which part? The no kids, yet another person who doesn't trust me, or someone not approving of my romantic choices?" A wry smile curves his lips as he rubs my arms. "I have a lifetime of experience preparing me for all three. I'll be okay."

"How?" I demand. "How are you okay with her not trusting you?"

"Rahna, I'm a blood mage who abused the trust of my best friend and the woman I loved. I've done plenty in my life to make caution warranted from people who don't know me. And honestly, I don't care what she or anyone else thinks about me. You like me and trust me, and so does Miri. You two are the only ones that matter to me."

"Not even Declan?" I remind him teasingly.

His brow tightens briefly in thought. "Declan, too. Though if I had to pick between him and one of you, you or Miri would win, I think. 'Cause I'm head over heels in love with you, and I've known her pretty much my whole life. Don't you need to get going?"

I roll my eyes at the abrupt reminder and kiss his forehead. "Guess I do." I kiss his nose. "I love you." I kiss him on the lips, fingers digging into his hair, before pulling away. "See you soon."

I shoulder my pack and head out the door, hoping-most likely in vain-for a pleasant walk into town.

A/N: So this got longer than I expected. Not complaining about that by any means, I'm just so used to chapters topping out at 1100. xD It's mostly due to Rahna and Velanna having a certain argument earlier than I planned. That conversation wasn't supposed to happen until the next chapter. Also, sorry this is going up late. ffn wasn't cooperating and I couldn't get in. xD


	38. Decisions

38.

Much to my surprise, given how hard she appeared to be biting her tongue before we left, Velanna is quiet once we get on the road. Angry-quiet, like she's fuming but doesn't want to set me off, but still quiet.

Until a little over roughly halfway. But even then, her choice of topic catches me off guard. "Wardens really can't have children, Commander?"

I shake my head. "Something to do with the Taint, I'm sure. It's probably for the best, though. Being a Warden doesn't exactly lend itself to a safe and stable home environment, you know?"

She shoots me a strange look. "You sound almost melancholy."

I shrug. "Your point?"

"Was... was that something you were looking forward to?"

She is getting surprisingly close to a part of of me I thought I'd buried a _long _time ago. "Never really thought about it much."

It's mostly true. _"I'll spend every waking moment learning how to make you happy..."_ Since joining the Wardens, at least, the thought of kids only crossed my mind once or twice, very briefly, during the Blight. But after my up close and personal look at just what being a Warden _costs,_ the idea of children was buried as far away from the light of day as I could put it and forgotten. Losing family, someone you love, is the worst pain I've ever experienced in my life. And the risk of putting a child through that is just too high as a Warden.

Velanna is staring at me as if she doesn't quite believe me, but lets it go. "So... this Devlin has rooms for us?"

"Yep. One for you and Mahariel, and one for, well, just me, I guess." I frown briefly as a thought strikes me. _I'm going to be sleeping alone tonight._ It's been months since I slept alone-since the trip to Antiva. The frown turns to a wry smile. _I guess I'll get to see how well I do on my own._

Velanna gives me a curious look, but doesn't press the matter. Jerin, on the other hand, arches an eyebrow. "You alright, Tabris?"

"Oh, fine," I assure him. "Private joke. Much as I hate to bring this up, did you get any closer to an agreement about the Disciple? Some kind of compromise that _won't_ risk dozens of innocent civilians?"

Jerin shakes his head. "We're both too stubborn."

Velanna mutter something in their language and kicks at a pebble.

He shoots her a skeptical look. "Stubbornness is exactly what it is, _emm'asha_. We both think we're right, and neither of us will budge."

"I am not going to be party to the murder of my sister's only friend," Velanna retorts. "I've already said, _repeatedly_, that I won't take anything else from her, _da'mi_."

I feel an eyebrow arch at the realization _Velanna_ just used a term of endearment in _public_. "And I've already told you-also repeatedly-that the idea of endangering dozens if not hundreds of people for the sake of _one_ is not going to fly with me."

"Yes, it's nice, properly heroic and sacrificial rhetoric," she grumbles. "But do you actually _believe _that, Commander?"

My laugh is sharp and bitter. "I was prepared to break the heart of the man I loved-along with several other close friends-in order to protect Thedas. Unfortunately for me, he beat me to the punch. So yes. Yes, I do believe it. With every fiber of my being. Stop trying to stall by throwing personal arguments in my face. If you can come up with a sound, logically supported reason to _not_ kill it _and_ a solution so that it lives and _isn't_ a threat to other people, I'm all ears. Anything else is just going to be us running the same arguments in circles." I am glad, for her sake and Seranni's, that we figured out her sister doesn't pass the Taint. Ghoul-ish ad she may look, Seranni won't infect other people, giving her a few more options for where she'll go. It's a small bit of good in an otherwise bad situation.

The blonde mage shoots me an irritated look, but just huffs and stomps a few steps ahead of me and Jerin.

"You're goin' t' hafta decide, Tabris," the warrior comments quietly. "Y' know that, right? She's never gonna change my mind, and I'm never gonna change hers, and you an' your mage seem set as well. Y' aren't gettin' a unanimous vote, one way or t' other. It's gonna be a call tha' you hafta make, _C'mmander_. "

I pull a face at the emphasis he gives the title. "Don't remind me."

"What else are friends for?" he jokes, running a hand over his hair as he watches Velanna. "She's goin' t' hate us."

"She already doesn't really like me or Jowan," I shrug. "So we'll be no worse off. But you... will you be alright?"

He kicks a small rock, his face unreadable. "I guess we'll find out, yeah?" His jaw tightens, but something in his eyes goes soft as he looks at the mage. "I just want her t' be happy, Tabris."

I smile grimly at the undertone confession. "That's the trick for a Warden my friend; daily balancing your happiness with the safety of the world at large. You don't always win."

"You sound like a world-weary veteran," Jerin comments wryly.

"I _have_ been a Warden a good bit longer than you," I reply with a shrug. "And I've already lost one person I loved to the siren call of duty. I guess I do know a little better than most what this job can require of you."

He's quiet for a moment. "What will y' do? If it asks a similar sacrifice of y' down th' road?"

I shudder, picturing a future in which I lose Jowan just like I've lost Alistair and Nelaros. "I... I'll cross that bridge _if_ I come to it," I finally reply. It's a cop-out, yes. But I don't know-and don't want to think about-what I'd do if anything happened to Jowan.

We make the rest of the walk to town in silence, each lost in our own thoughts. By the time we reach Devlin's inn and get to our rooms, I've made up my mind.

"We have to kill the Disciple."

A/N: Well, that decision took long enough to make. Velanna is not going to be happy. I hope there aren't any consequences from this...


	39. Right Call

39\. Right Call

"But you said-" Velanna protests, cutting herself off with a sigh that's more than half a disgruntled growl.

"I know what I said. But, honestly, with the time we've spent working on this with no success, I don't see a workin' solution bein' forthcomin'." I watch her eyes waver between anger an grief and can't help but regret the position I've put her in. "You don't have to do it, you don't even have to watch. Sod, I'll even tell Seranni you tried to talk us out of it every which way you know how. But I can't let a darkspawn continue to threaten innocent lives, even inadvertently."

"Because that's what _Grey Wardens_ do?" she snipes, tone full of bitterness.

"Because it's what _decent sodding people_ do," I snap back. "Somethin' is threatening innocents, we have the ability to remove the threat, so we do."

She throws up her hands and snorts in disgust before stomping out of the room.

"Y' want me t' talk to her?" Jerin offers, watching her go.

I shake my head. "She was already barely on speaking terms with me, so hatin' my guts is no great loss. I'd rather not sacrifice your relationship to the flames of duty if we can at all avoid it."

"And I do appreciate that. But she knows my feelin's on this, Tabris. I'm still gettin' an earful."

"Maybe this way we can stop it from goin' beyond an earful," I mutter.

"Doubt it, considerin' my offer still stands t'... do the deed." He rakes one finger across his throat.

"No." I shake my head more firmly. "This was my call, and I'm gonna do it. Can't be askin' someone else's conscience to be carryin' the weight of my choice."

Jerin shrugs. "If that's how y' want t' play it. Th' offer stands. Right up t' the moment of."

And with that, he exits as well, leaving me alone with my thoughts.

I sit on the edge of my bed for a long time, bracing myself for what I have to do.

This is one of those times I believe I have the worst job in the world.

**oOo**

Velanna was pacing when he entered the room, an agitated line back and forth from one wall to the other, muttering under her breath in their tongue.

"I don't envy Tabris right now," Jerin commented, mostly just to test the waters.

"Why in Mythal's name would you say that?" Velanna scoffed.

"B'cause she had to make a hard call, one that pits two major parts of who she is against each other, and she's pretty sure you hate her now."

"She's not entirely wrong," the blonde admitted, steps slowing. "Though _hate_ is perhaps a little strong. Furious would be correct, irritated. Hurt."

"Hurt?" That one confused him, he had to admit.

"She didn't so much recruit me to the Grey Wardens as I demanded to join," Velanna began. "I had high hopes of using their ability to track darkspawn in finding Seranni. Despite our regular disagreements and me being... well, _me,_ she really made an effort to be friends. Listened to my rants, defended me from the harsh words of my clan, gave me the book I've been writing the tales in... I know we're never going to be the best of friends like she is with Sigrun or Nathaniel, but I thought she understood what family means to me."

"She does." Jerin stepped into her path and pulled the mage into a hug. "Why do you think this is so hard for her? She knows exactly how hard this is on you. It's killin' her."

"But?" Velanna prompted cynically. "There's always a 'but'."

"I do think she's right," he said slowly.

"Of course you do; she's _agreeing_ with you!" she spat, pulling away and glaring at him. "This was what you wanted!"

"Yes, b'cause while your bias lies with protectin' your sister's heart, mine lies with killin' the monsters responsible for _my best friend_ dyin'!"

"Darkspawn didn't kill Tamlen," she snorted, crossing her arms.

"Maybe not, but their corruption did, _vhenan_," Jerin retorted. "Corruption that will exist as long as they do. An' it's already killed people here, remember? Forgive me for thinkin' that's a threat that needs removin'."

"And at what cost?" Velanna shot back, scowling hard at him now.

Jerin shook his head. "You know."

He watched something break in her eyes before the steel returned. "Very well." She spun away, dug out the book of tales, and sat on the bed with her back to him-rigid posture and the furious page-turning a clear indication to stay away for now.

Hating what this mission was putting her through, Jerin tamped down the urge to kiss her or something and instead settled for simply saying, "I'm goin' for a walk."

No reply. Which was pretty much what he'd expected, but it still hurt, he had to admit as he stepped out. _I hope this winds up being worth it._

**oOo**

It turns out my fears concerning difficulty falling asleep were well founded. I spend _hours_ after the sun sets tossing and turning and staring at the ceiling. While part of it may be the weight of the decision I made today, I know the absence of a warm body to snuggle-and the accompanying sense of security-isn't helping at all. In the end, I give up trying and slink out of my room to go for a walk. I can almost hear Jowan fussing about the danger in my head, and half-smile as I tuck my Antivan dagger down in one boot and another in the back of my belt before I grab my cloak. Anyone who tries anything with me will be very sorry very quickly.

The night air is cool when I make my way outside, and the streets mostly empty. Meaning there's little to no distraction from the thoughts buzzing through my brain. First and foremost: _If you're so sure this is the right call, why do you still feel guilty making it?_

_Because, as even right decisions do sometimes, it's going to hurt people. Velanna, Seranni... I'm going to hurt them, and they've already been though a lot. And I feel bad about that. Just not enough to change my mind._

Enough doubt worms at the back of my mind to make me uneasy, and I walk faster as I internally debate my motivation. Maybe I can wear myself out and I'll actually get some sleep when I get back.

A/N: Sorry it's a little short; with Christmas and all thrown in there I didn't have a lot of time to write, so I barely hit my minimum with this chapter. But that's better than nothing, right?


	40. Pulling Through

40\. Pulling Through

The slow approach of shuffled footsteps pulled Jowan's attention from the spell book balanced on his lap. "You shouldn't be up yet."

Ezekiel hunched his shoulders sheepishly. "Goin' stir-crazy in there. I guess all those days of self-imposed isolation added up. Can I just... sit out here instead?"

Jowan bit his lower lip in thought. The weather was decent, Ezekiel was healthy, and he could only imagine how boring the view had gotten. "As long as you actually just sit and let me or one of your brothers get you anything you need."

Deal," the lanky farmer smiled in relief as he awkwardly lowered himself into a chair, bobbling slightly before he remembered he only had one arm to use as a brace and compensated. "That's gonna take a while to get used to," he muttered under his breath.

"Oh, I'm sure," Jowan nodded, gaze drifting toward the road. Rahna and the others had probably made it to town by now.

Ezekiel noticed and grinned. "Miss her already? James gets that same look when he's pinin' for Maisy."

There was no point in denying it. "We work well as a team, so we haven't spent much time apart the last year or so." _Aside from her going off after Morrigan..._

"Oh, that's gotta be especially rough."

"It is. But it comes with the Warden thing that we aren't going to necessarily stay together all the time," Jowan shrugged. _At least this time I know she's safe._ It was a good point. But he kept it to himself and changed the subject instead. "How're you feeling? Obviously well enough to get out of bed, but beyond that."

"Good, I guess?" Ezekiel glanced down at what remained of his left arm. "I mean, it hurts a little, but isn't that to be expected? And I can tell you right now, I'm probably gonna wind up fallin' on my face a couple dozen times 'cause I'll go to catch myself with that arm b'fore I remember it's not there... But hey, I can still do the books with one hand, and maybe someday we'll figure out a way for me to do the tack repairs as well. 'Til then, Owen gets to keep fightin' them." He grinned. "I'm sure he's thrilled at the prospect."

Jowan couldn't help but laugh. "You should try sounding less gleeful when you tell him about it. But it's good you have a good attitude about it and that you're thinking ahead like that." Both were indications Ezekiel was going to pull through just fine.

"Heh, thinkin's about all I'm good for right now, might as well put it to good use," Ezekiel scoffed dryly, grin quirking the corners of his mouth. "I'm the brains of this outfit, anyway."

"Some could disagree with you on that, Zeke," James teased as he stepped out onto the porch. "Specifically Colin."

"'Cause Colin would think I'm serious. Did you need somethin'?"

"Him, actually." James motioned toward Jowan. "I need to borrow him for a bit. Owen's within earshot if you need anything."

"I'll be fine. And I'll stay right here," Ezekiel promised.

"Do that," Jowan nodded, grateful the farmer looked content enough to follow through, before he stood and followed James off the porch. "What did you need me for?"

"I was about to take some food to our, ah, friends," the blond nodded his head toward the caves. "Was hopin' you'd come along an' check on Seranni, see if her fever's doin' any better."

"Oh. Sure, I can do that." Jowan tugged at the end of his ponytail.

"Thanks. I know she'll get better eventually an' all, but it's been stickin' around like holiday guests. Long past its welcome," he clarified when Jowan shot him a puzzled look. "I'm just wonderin' if the Taint's makin' it harder for her to fight regular stuff."

"I'd think havin' some level of immunity to poison would make battling everyday illnesses easier." Jowan shrugged. "But I guess it could go either way."

"And that's why I want you to check on her," James replied, pausing briefly to pick up the bag of food for Seranni and the Disciple. "Just to be safe, ya know?"

"Better safe than sorry," Jowan murmured in agreement as they two of them headed toward the cave entrance. "Aren't your brothers going to wonder where you are?"

"Maybe. But it's better than goin' in the evenin' and havin' them wonder if I'm maybe bein' less of a gentleman with Maisy than I've led them to believe."

That was hard to argue with, and Jowan simply shrugged in agreement as they made their way into the tunnels.

**oOo**

Seranni and the Disciple must have heard them coming, as both were watching the tunnel expectantly when Jowan and James stepped around the curve.

"I was hoping you would come," Seranni smiled, tucking her hair behind her ear. "We're beginning to run low."

"Sorry," James said sheepishly, handing her the bundle of foodstuffs he'd been carrying. "We were, uh, occupied most of the morning."

Jowan sent him a sharp look, wondering why he didn't just tell her the truth. _He probably just doesn't want to upset her, given__** how**__ Ezekiel's arm was injured_.

"I do imagine farming is time-consuming work," she replied softly.

"And there's more of it right now since Owen's doin' Zeke's work so I have more of _his._" James' brow wrinkled briefly into a wince, which Jowan caught but Seranni missed.

"What's wrong with Ezekiel?" the elf asked, frowning in concern and setting aside the food.

"Oh, he, um, broke his wrist a few days back," James explained, clearing his throat. "Since you kinda need two hands for leather repairs, he's outta commission for a while."

"I hope it heals quickly..." she murmured, distracted from the conversation when the Disciple shifted uneasily. "What, _Lin'sila?_ Is something wrong?"

It shook its head. "...No."

Seranni looked expectantly back to James. "You brother's doing alright?"

He fumbled for a minute, looking very much like he wanted to glaze over the details, before sighing and running one hand through his hair. "He was. We discovered earlier today that it had... gotten infected."

The Disciple shifted again and Seranni's eyes narrowed. "_Infected_?"

"...with the darkspawn Taint," James finished reluctantly. "But the Wardens took care of it-" motioning toward Jowan- "and he should be fine."

"_Fine_? Outside of the Architect's experiments and the Grey Wardens, I've never known _anyone_ who contracted the Taint to be _fine,_" she retorted, eyes now wide with worry.

"It hadn't spread past his arm," Jowan interjected, taking pity on James as he floundered in his explanation. "We amputated it and the Taint seems to be gone. Neither Velanna nor I could sense it any more."

"That easy?" She half-relaxed.

"Apparently."

"I still feel like I should apologize or something..." Her worry trailed off in a coughing fit.

"Maybe when you're feeling better," James replied.

"Is that why he's here?" Seranni nodded toward Jowan. "I seem to recall mention of him being a healer." She winked at the mage. "Your girlfriend was bragging on you."

"Of course she was," Jowan sighed, smiling slightly. "And yes, that's why I'm here."

"Well, then. Let's get on with it. I'm just as curious as James how much longer this is going to stick around." She shifted forward and looked at him expectantly.

It didn't take long to determine that the fever was on its way out. "The cough might stick around a bit, since they usually do, but hopefully you'll be well on the way to recovered inside a week."

She brightened noticeably. "Really? That soon?"

"That soon. But only if you get enough rest."

"In other words, we need to be headin' back?" James grinned.

"Yes. I don't want to stay away too long anyway, because of Ezekiel," Jowan pointed out.

"And I probably should get back to work, b'fore Owen or Colin take me to task for slackin' off," the farmer conceded. After brief farewells, the two men headed back to the farm. Things were looking up, finally going smoothly.

Which meant Jowan was already trying to anticipate the next wrench in the works. They had an awful sense of timing, after all.

A/N: Yes, that wrench in the works would be Rahna's decision regarding the Disciple. Velanna was bad enough, I am _not_ looking forward to writing Seranni's reaction to that call. But Jowan is just generally pessimistic about things; if everything is going well, **_obviously_** something's going to go wrong soon. xD


	41. Hopefully

41\. Hopefully

My plan to wear myself out enough I'll fall asleep does eventually work, much to my relief. It's not as deep as usual, but sleep is sleep. It's better than nothing. As a consequence of my late night, I oversleep, and both Jerin and Velanna are awake when I finally drag myself out of bed, the latter still not speaking to me.

Jerin offers an apologetic half-smile and a shrug as he nudges a portion of the breakfast they ordered toward me. "Rough night, I'm guessin'?"

"Not used to sleepin' alone," I mumble through a yawn. "Though, hopefully there won't be any more of that for a while. We'll head back to the farm, ...deal with things there, I shoot a look at Velanna, but she's making a show of ignoring me. "And then we can head back to the Vigil."

"Barrin' a lack of complications," he prompts. "B'cause those seem t' like you an awful lot."

"Shh, sayin' things like that'll summon 'em," I joke, munching on the provided food. "Everything's gonna be fine. We'll be done in no time."

"Still, don't y' think we should stay for a couple extra days? Make sure nothin' more happens; no more Taint crops, Ezekiel's arm keeps healin'?"

"You make a good point," I admit reluctantly. "Far as Ezekiel goes, we'll see how he's doing when we get back to the farm. He's probably fine. I'm more hoping Seranni's fever broke."

"Feel guilty telling a sick woman you want to kill her best friend?" Velanna snipes.

"More like I don't want to force her to move if she's still sick," I reply, and the mage relapses into silence. _This is going to be a fun day._

"What time did y' want to leave?" Jerin asks. "Here, I mean?"

"Prob'ly soon as I've finished eating and we're all packed." I cautiously run a hand through my hair, but don't make it far before I hit knots. "I should also probably deal with this, so an hour?"

"Sounds good." He grins. "And at that rate, maybe Jowan'll even be awake by th' time we reach the farm."

I giggle and consequently almost choke on the biscuit I'm eating. "That would be nice."

I finish eating quickly and then head back to my room to pack and try to tame the rats nests taking over my hair. That part does take a bit longer, but I eventually triumph. Hair pulled back in a loose but tangle-free braid, I pick up my pack and meet the others in the hallway.

**oOo**

It's a nice enough day, we don't _hurry_ back, but at the same time I don't want to dilly dally. I want to get this over with. I can almost see the thundercloud growing over Velanna's head, and it helps reinforce my decision to have her take Seranni off somewhere they can't see or hear when I execute the Disciple. That word feels wrong even just in my brain. Most of the people I've killed have been in or immediately following combat. I don't think I ever _executed _anyone. Vaughan was straight-up murder-that I still don't regret-and Loghain I let Alistair fight. _This is a mess._ I sigh and focus my attention deliberately on walking.

We're still a good ways out from the farmhouse when we're spotted. One of the Farrows is sitting on the front porch-probably Ezekiel. As we get closer I can see that I'm right, but he obviously hollered we were back or something, because by the time we reach the porch he's been joined by both Jowan and James. I smile and nod to the latter before tackle-hugging the former.

Jowan laughs as he hugs me back and kisses the top of my head. "How'd you sleep last night?"

I groan and bury my face in his chest. "Horrible. Awful. Not much at all."

"Well, that makes two of you," James deadpans. Jowan starts to protest, but James shoots him a look. "My room is next to yours. I heard all the tossing and turning."

"Oh, are you the one I heard walking around somewhere after midnight?" Ezekiel chips in.

"Yes," Jowan sighs. "So, I didn't sleep well, either. Must be something about the sleeping arrangement..."

"Must be," I tease, tipping my head back to grin at him. "We'll have to fix that."

"Agreed." He bends to kiss my forehead, but I tip my chin back further and catch it on the lips instead.

But, good as it is to see him again, even after so short a time apart, we have a mission here. A goal. Well, several, actually. So I turn to Ezekiel. "How are you doing? Still clear?"

"Still clear," he confirms. "Sometimes it feels like that wrist still hurts, no matter how many times I remind myself it's _gone,_ but he tells me there's still no trace of the Taint. So there's really only the typical healing process to worry about."

"Good, I'm glad," I smile. If he's healing well, it's one less thing for both us and his brothers to worry about. "Hopefully, there won't be any complications."

"Hopefully," he agrees. "You probably have Warden business to discuss, so I'll let you have the porch."

"Thanks," I nod, watching him stand slowly, carefully, making an obvious effort to balance himself properly.

"Nearly went head-first into the railing yesterday, 'cause I over-corrected," he explains when he catches me. "It's tricky."

"I believe you," I mumbles as we wait for him and James to make it inside.

"Well, between to stalling job and Velanna's face, I think I know what you decided," Jowan says once it's just the four of us.

"Maker, am I that easy to read?" I make a face. "Or is it just 'cause you know me so well?"

"The latter," Jowan and Jerin both reply.

"Once someone knows your tics, y' are rather easy to read," the warrior finishes.

"Good to know," I grunt. "But, yeah, I had decided to go with executing the Disciple."

Velanna's scowl deepens.

I dart a warning look in her direction. "We haven't come up with a good, do-able solution that won't endanger other people. So I feel this is the only solution."

Jowan winces. "That's not going to go over well."

"I know. But that's my choice, and my problem." I glance at Velanna and Jerin. "Either of you know the way well enough we won't have to bother James?" Both of them shake their heads. "Right, then. I'll be right back." I head back into the house to borrow James for what's hopefully the last time. I really want to get this over with.

A/N: So just as a heads-up, badly as I want to finish this arc, I'm not sure there will be a chapter next week. My hand got caught in the door at work(one of the steel and glass, fast food restaurant type doors. FUN). It's not broken or anything, just bruised and really sore, so I'm not sure how much writing I'll be able to get done.


	42. Never, Ever Easy

42\. Never, Ever Easy

Seranni's initial surprise at seeing us 'so soon'-which makes me think Jowan and James visited yesterday-quickly shifts into wariness when she sees her sister's grim expression. "What's going on?"

"She's had a rough day," I reply, bending the truth just a little bit. "We wanted to see how you were doing; Jowan told me he thought your fever was gonna break soon."

"I do feel better," she says slowly. "A bit stronger. Hopefully we'll be able to move on soon." She's hinting, digging, trying to get an answer for the question she's afraid to ask and I dread having to answer.

"Seranni..." I hesitate, insides in a knot, almost hating myself. "We can't let the Disciple leave here."

Understanding flashes through her clouded eyes and she starts shaking her head. "So, what, we have to live in this cave for the rest of our lives?"

The denial writ large across her face makes this a thousand times harder. "That's not what I'm saying. _You_ don't have to stay here. The Disciple does."

"No. _No_. You don't- you _can't_." Her eyes well with tears and I graduate to _actually _hating myself.

"Seranni, people are _dead_," I say gently, as if that'll help. "People with _families_ are dead and gone because of the Taint it spread. Their lands are damaged, livelihoods are threatened, I _can't_ let that continue, no matter how much the alternative hurts." I brace myself and say the words. "I have to kill the Disciple."

She doesn't say anything for a long moment. Her eyes brim with tears and I can see her jaw tensing, but almost a full minute goes by before she quietly whispers, "No..."

Her soft, broken tone is worse than if she'd flown into hysterics and I instinctively reach for Jowan's hand. He notices and links his fingers between mine, giving a gentle squeeze for encouragement.

"It is the right decision she is making," the Disciple says, resting one hand comfortingly on Seranni's shoulder.

"I can't lose you," she protests, turning to look up at the somber darkspawn.

"The Architect was wishing for peace with humans," it says gently. "If I am harming that, it is best for the Grey Warden to be killing me."

"But..." she lets it trail off as she stares up at the monster who is currently her only friend in the world, tears rolling down face.

"James can take you outside, so you don't have to watch," Jowan speaks up. "If you want."

James starts at hearing his name, but nods, running one hand through his hair. "I'm perfectly willing to do that, if you want, Seranni."

Another long silence, before she nods reluctantly. "That would probably be best. Velanna, will you come with us?"

"Of course," Velanna agrees. "Anything for you."

Seranni swallows hard, hugs the Disciple even harder, whispering something in elvish before she lets go. She wipes at her tears and starts down the tunnel. Velanna rushes a few steps to join her, and James follows the two of them out, catching my eye with a look of support as he does.

"James," I murmur in an undertone. "Maybe take them on a nice, slow loop 'round the far side of the farm. Give us at least twenty minutes so we can, um, clean things up."

"And if one of my brothers sees us?"

"_If_ they do, I'm sure you'll figure something out."

He doesn't look so sure, but shrugs and leaves with the Dalish women all the same.

"Be doing it quickly, Warden," the Disciple says softly.

"I wish I didn't have to do it at all," I mutter. "But since I _do_, I will do it as quickly as possible. I just want to make sure they've really left. So Seranni doesn't see."

After another minute or so passes, I take a deep breath, squeeze Jowan's hand tight one last time, and pull out my sword. I wish briefly that I still had Vigilance. A dragonbone blade would make this so much easier. _Damn the Crows._

Jerin clears his throat. "Tabris, would it maybe be better t' do this elsewhere? I mean, if Seranni's goin' t' sleep here t'night, we prob'y shouldn't be soakin' th' ground with her best friend's blood."

"An excellent point," I concede. "Let's go down another tunnel."

"There is a dead end not far from here that you could use," the Disciple suggests.

"Where?" I ask, and it leads us to the 'cave' in question. It really isn't far; I probably won't get lost returning to the living space.

When we reach the alternate location, the Disciple kneels, a deep, slow breath hissing out between its teeth. "As I said, be doing it quickly, please, Warden. And... you will be taking care of Seranni?"

"Yes." I look at my sword, at the back of the creature in front of me. "I promise."

_Maker, I wish I didn't have to do this._ But nothing involving the Architect has been simple or easy, so it's not really surprising that this is staying true to form. And, in a fun little twist, my time as a Warden has more than prepared me to know how to kill a darkspawn as quickly as possible.

I take a deep breath of my own, step forward, and drive my sword through the Disciple's back. It gives a choked grunt, a wet cough, and then slumps to the ground.

_It's done._ For all my worry and doubt and the crisis of conscience, it was extremely easy to do-almost scarily so. I stare at the corpse for a long moment, sword hanging at my side and dripping blood. _This is the only darkspawn in my life that I'll ever regret having to kill._

"Rahna," Jowan says softly, resting a hand on my shoulder. "We should burn it. So the corruption doesn't sink into the ground."

"Go... go ahead," I nod dazedly, turning my back as flames engulf the dead darkspawn. I feel... hollow. Jerin wordlessly hands me a rag, and I take it with a nod, wiping blood off my blade before I sheath it. All three of us are silent as we make our way back to the portion of the cave system that served as home for Seranni and the Disciple.

Now there's nothing to do but wait until they come back. And try not to let the guilt overwhelm me.

A/N: For such a short chapter, this took a ridiculously long time to write. I needed every single day of the extra week. I was determined not to give Rahna an 'out', so to speak; no last minute 'Oh, we can do X instead' or Jerin stepping in and insisting on killing the Disciple instead. She had to do it. And it was both easier and harder than I imagined it would be. Now we get to deal with the fallout/repercussions. Fun!


	43. One More Night

43\. One More Night

We wind up waiting long enough that I'm getting antsy, but I suppose it's my own fault for telling James to give us at least twenty minutes. He has no way of knowing it didn't take anywhere near that long. When we finally do hear approaching footsteps-just a few seconds before I asked Jerin if he could find the way out-it's only one set. I look over at Jowan, who just shrugs. A few seconds later, James rounds the bend in the tunnel alone.

I raise an eyebrow. "Where are Velanna and Seranni?"

He gives me an _I told you so_ look as he replies, "Talkin' to Ezekiel."

Oh. "He came back out?" When we set off, he was still in the house, trying not to eavesdrop on 'Warden business' conversation.

"Apparently. And Seranni wanted to talk to him, because she think it's her fault somehow about his arm, so there was no talkin' her into just wavin' and continuin' on our way when he saw us."

"Prob'ly better this way" I point out. "You ignoring him woulda made it look a lot more like you were hidin' something. How much of the truth did you tell him?"

"For now just that Seranni's a traveler who had been scarred by the Blight not long after the Battle of Denerim," James shrugs as we start back out of the tunnel system. "And that she's Velanna's sister. How much more he learns I figured should be up to you ladies."

"We'll figure it out. For now, can we just get out of here, please?" I try to keep my voice level as I ask, but from the sympathetic look Jowan gives me, I don't do a good job.

"Sure," James nods. "Right this way. I'd think a Grey Warden would be used to bein' underground."

"I am. Just 'cause I'm used to something doesn't mean I have to like it."

"Good point," he concedes as we wind our way through the tunnels.

There are very few feelings I relish more than the sun on my face after being away from it for a while, and I close my eyes in enjoyment as the warmth and light wash over me when we step out of the cave entrance.

Jowan lets me enjoy it for a minute-he knows what it means to me-before nudging my shoulder. "C'mon, Rahna. Don't we have things to do..."

"Right. Of course." I nod and toy with the end of my braid as she start for the farmhouse. My somber mood is washed away by a grin at the sight that greets us as we get closer. Ezekiel is sitting in one of the chairs on the front porch, smiling widely as he converses with Seranni, who's perched on the railing, one arm wrapped around a support post, the other gesturing animatedly as she talks. Velanna is leaning against the side of the house, trying not to smile and looking for all the world like a reluctant chaperone.

"...and she never asked me to keep an eye on her children again," Seranni concludes as we move within earshot. "The stains came out eventually, of course, but we was too worried I was a bad influence."

Ezekiel chuckles. "You _hardly_ strike me as the kind of person who deserves such a label. It's not your fault children get into everything."

She shrugs. "There were plenty in the clan who disagreed with her. It's not like I gained a 'reputation' or anything." Her face goes somber when she catches sight of us. "Is... is it done?"

I just nod, and her jaw clenches as tears sheen her eyes.

"What?" Ezekiel frowns in confusion. "I feel like I missed something."

"I was... traveling with a friend." Seranni explains shakily. "He, unfortunately, was... more affected by the Taint than I was, and it had reached the point where there was only one solution. With the Wardens being here, the Commander graciously _volunteered_ to handle it, as they can't contract the Taint."

Understanding flashes through blue eyes as Ezekiel leans forward. "I'm sorry for your loss."

"Thank you," she sniffles, wiping her eyes.

"Well, if our business here is now concluded, shouldn't we be leaving?" Velanna speaks up, pushing away from the wall.

"We can't do that to Seranni, first of all," I point out, surprised she of all people would forget. "Asking her to move on immediately after losing a friend." I glance at her. "Unless you _want_ to be moving on quickly."

She shakes her head, tucking her hair back behind her ears. "I don't mind sleeping in our cave again-"

"You've been sleeping in a _cave_?!" Ezekiel interrupts. "Why would you..."

"Not many people want to rent me a room," Seranni points out with a grim smile, gesturing at her face.

"Well, I don't want to _rent_ you a room, either," the farmer mutters. "But we have a couple extra bedrooms if you'd like somewhere more comfortable t sleep."

"That... that would be lovely, thank you." She smiles, almost shyly, as if unused to the kindness. Which, in her situation, may actually be the case.

"What about us?" Jerin mutters to me in an undertone. "We've already checked out a' the room in town b'cause you'd planned to move on right away."

"We'll figure somethin' out," I whisper back, playing with my braid.

"Something wrong?" Ezekiel asks.

"Just tryin' to work out our own lodgings for the night," I explain. "I had been hopin' we'd be on our way earlier in the day than this, so we checked out of the inn already."

"You can stay here, too," he points out. "Seranni gets first choice on the bedrooms, but we can fit ya somewhere. Mum used to do it all the time before she left us the farm and moved into town."

"I think we'll take you up on that," I nod.

"An' _we'll_ let you an' Jowan have th' other room," Jerin adds.

"We will?" Velanna raises an eyebrow.

"Aye, we will. B'cause you an' I don't hafta be touchin' t' fall asleep."

I can't really argue with that.

"Well, if I'm sleeping here, I'll need to go get my things," Seranni says, carefully slipping off the railing.

I catch her arm as she descends the steps. "Seranni, I just want you to be prepared for this; your things are all that's left."

She squints for a second before it sinks in and her eyes widen in surprise. "You destroyed all his things?!"

"We had to," I murmur. "We realized while waiting for James that they might carry the Taint as well."

I can see the haertbreak and commonsense warring on her face. "A memento would have been nice, but I... I understand."

"I'm sorry," I whisper, meaning for far more than denying her a keepsake.

And she knows it. "Apology accepted," she whispers back before continuing toward the cave to retrieve her things.

It takes a moment to sink in that she went alone.

A/N: Not much to say this time, except wheee, yay, we finally get to go back to the Vigil next chapter.


	44. Plans Change

44\. Plans Change

When Seranni returns from gathering her things, she takes the smaller of the two extra bedrooms, promising me that it's fine, there's plenty of room for one person. This means Jowan and I got the same room we shared two nights ago. Also, from the look of things, where he slept last night.

As if to prove right everyone who ever claimed the two of us need each other to fall asleep, we're out like doused candles the second our heads hit the pillows, me snuggled in close to his chest.

The night is uneventful, blessedly free of darkspawn dreams for both of us. When morning comes, I find Seranni's beaten me to the kitchen. As has at least one of the Farrows from the quantity of breakfast food waiting on the table-eggs, baskets of warm rolls, fruit, a kettle full of porridge, it looks like they're prepared to feed a small army.

"James remembered about Warden appetites," Seranni comments as I stare at the abundance of food. "We made sure there would be enough."

"I can see that," I mutter, almost dazed by the quantity as I take a plate and bowl and start down the line of foodstuffs. "How early were you up to get all this done?"

"Pretty early," she concedes. "But he needed help, and I've turned in to a bit of an early riser."

"Well, I'm sure everyone will be grateful, whenever they wake up." I sit down across the table from her, and both of us eat in silence for a few minutes.

"Warden, can I run something by you?" Seranni asks quietly as she finishes her meal.

"Of course," I mumble around a mouthful of egg. "Somethin' wrong?"

"Not really, I just... I know Velanna was thinking I would come back with you to your base in Amaranthine-"

"The Vigil," I supply.

"Yes, thanks. But I've been mulling this over all night, and... I think I want to stay here." She looks almost sheepish as she finishes, as if afraid I'll jump down her throat about that being a stupid plan. "I wanted to get input from a... less biased source before I say anything to my sister."

"Wise decision," I laugh. "Far as staying here... why? Not anything more or less than simple curiosity; why stay here instead of coming with us?"

"Fewer bad memories here, no worries about my sister being overprotective, the Farrows seem nice..." she stops herself and shrugs. "Three out of four Farrows seem nice. And I'm willing to give Owen the benefit of the doubt because it was a short conversation where he wasn't entirely awake."

"He is the grumpiest of the four," I say, "but nice enough once you get past that. Occasional bouts of surliness, but he's not like that all the time. You sure you're not staying because you feel guilt about Ezekiel's arm?"

"...Maybe a little," she concedes. "But it's mostly the other reasons. James and I are friends, I had a good time talking to Ezekiel, and Colin I only met briefly but he seems nice, too. And I really like the idea of _no overprotective Velanna_. I love her, but she worries about me too much. Especially now."

"It's a sister thing, I'm sure. And she already lost you once, I can't really blame her for not wantin' that to happen again," I reply, absently showing food around on my plate. "But I see your point. Ultimately it's your call. But if you decide to stay here, be very careful about how you phrase it when you tell your sister."

"Oh, that's the plan," she chuckles.

"Plan for what?" Ezekiel asks as he enters the kitchen, running his hand through his hair. It doesn't do much to fix his serious case of bedhead.

"How to tell my sister I don't want to return to the Vigil with them," Seranni begins hesitantly.

"Where were you goin' instead?" he probes, biting his lip in concentration as he prepares a plate, waving off offers of help.

"I-I was hoping..." she clears her throat. "Maybe I could... stay here? With you and your brothers?"

Ezekiel drops his plate on the table with something less than grace, eyebrows arching in surprise. "Why?"

"I like it here, and I figured you might want someone to do housework, and I can help while you adjust to that-" she gestures at his missing arm- "and I don't eat a lot and you wouldn't need to pay me, but if you don't want-"

"Seranni, _slow down_. First off, I just woke up and you kinda caught me off guard, so I'm sorry for being blunt. Second, I'd have no problem with you staying, and I'm pretty sure James would feel the same if you asked him. I'm more surprised that you would _want_ to than anything else," he explains.

"Oh. Well, I do."

"I can see that," he smiles. "Quite clearly, in fact. The four of us will need to discuss it, and you sound like you need to tell you sister? But I for one would be very okay with this."

Seranni's smile rivals the sun. "Okay."

**oOo**

Knowing that at least one of the Farrows is 'on her side', so to speak, seems to make it even harder for Seranni to wait for Velanna to join us. When the mage finally appears, hair pulled back in the usual bun and looking overall about as put together as Jowan _isn't_ when he drags himself out of bed, Seranni practically squirms in her seat waiting for her sister to prepare a plate and sit down.

"What has you so excited this early?" Velanna asks with a pointed look at her sister. "You're usually not even fully awake yet."

I shoot Seranni a look of my own; one that reminds her to be careful with what she says here.

"So, I had an idea yesterday that I spent the night mulling over..." Seranni explains her thoughts gently but in enough detail to show that she really has thought this through. "...and I know you were thinking we would be together after things were settled here, but I'm a big girl, 'Lanna. I like it here and if they'll have me, I want to stay."

Velanna's face is hard as she stares at her half-eaten breakfast. "Well, if this is what you really want, I'm not going to force you to change your mind," she mutters, pushing away from the table and stomping off.

"Velanna!" Seranni follows after her, the two of them conversing heatedly in elvish before they make it out the door.

**oOo**

I don't know what Seranni says to her sister-or Ezekiel and James to their brothers-but when we leave shortly before lunch, it's the same four of us who came. And Velanna keeps looking back at the blonde figure waving a cheerful goodbye from the front porch of the farmhouse.

A/N: Okay, so we finally got through the Honnleath arc. And it only took, what, twenty chapters to cover two and a half days. I feel so accomplished. /sarc I spent roughly half of the arc trying to decide whether or not to have Seranni go back with them. There were pros and cons and such for both, but when I really got into figuring out what her motivation would be for either, I got this sense she wanted to stay(I think she feels more guilty about Ezekiel then she let on to Rahna). So stay she did. Now, unfortunately, I probably won't be posting a chapter next week. I am so sorry I keep doing that with this story, but I'm trying desperately to get things finished for multiple Valentine's Day challenges/celebration of X pairing/that sort of thing. Being that we're down to the wire and three of them aren't finished yet, I need the extra writing time to get them done. If by some miracle I finish those things and have enough time to write a chapter, I will. But it doesn't look promising.


	45. As Well as It Could Have

45\. As Well as It Could Have

The walk back to the Vigil is uneventful and boring. Velanna spends the majority of it sulking, and Jerin, in turn, spends the majority trying to cheer her up. His success is limited. She's _really_ upset that Seranni wanted to stay in Honnleath. Jowan and I simply give her a wide berth, which she doesn't seem to mind. She hasn't spoken to me more than is strictly necessary since I killed the Disciple.

Our return is nothing special; a cheery smile from Sigrun and friendly waves from Declan and Vhiané as they spar.

"That was quick," the dwarf comments as Velanna and Jerin vanish into the keep.

"It was a surprisingly easy fix this time," I admit, leaning back against Jowan's chest.

"What, no complication?" she jokes, spinning a throwing knife so the point bites into the fence post. "Has the universe finally decided to be kind to you?"

"I wish, but no. The 'problem' was the Disciple, who was traveling with Seranni. I had to kill it, and Velanna is no longer speaking to me because I killed her sister's best and only friend."

Sigrun winces. "That sucks, boss. Where's Seranni?"

"Stayed in Honnleath. The _other_ reason Velanna's pissed at me."

"But that's not _your_ fault," she frowns, digging at the fence with her knife.

"_Thank_ you," Jowan mutters. "I've been trying to tell her that."

I roll my eyes at them. "And I _know_. It's just easier for her to direct all her anger one place, so I'm bearing the brunt of it for both things. I don't mind. She didn't really like me much as it was, so better this than her hating Mahariel or something."

She grins. "You're such a willin' martyr."

I shrug. "Whatever it takes to keep the peace. Did Nate come back from the city?"

Sigrun's grin shifts to a knowing smile. "Yeah, but be careful if you try an' track him down, boss. Vi came back with him. Somethin' about wantin' to see what might potentially be her new home..."

I raise an eyebrow. "_Really_, now?"

"Why's that surprising? Aren't _you_ the one who offered that option?" she points out.

"Yeah, and I'm completely fine with them takin' it, I just... the wedding isn't for a couple more months, I wasn't thinkin' she'd be worried about that yet."

"She hasta know where she's gonna live so she knows how to decorate," Sigrun reminds me gleefully.

"Ah, yes. That makes sense... Well, I have a report I need to go write, and you looked like you were enjoying watchin' _them_-" nod toward Declan and Vhiané- "so I'll let you get back to it."

"Gee, thanks, Commander," the dwarf winks cheekily and turns her attention back to the dueling warriors.

So, when you say_you_ need to write up a report..." Jowan begins as we head toward the main keep.

"I mean we," I confirm cheerfully. "C'mon, love, you know your handwriting's a thousand times better than mine."

"More like two thousand," he mutters teasingly. I slap him on the back of the head and he grins. "What if I just write it? It'll give me an excuse to hide for a couple of hours, and lets you track down Nathaniel and Violet, which I know you want to do, so why not?"

I'm extremely tempted to take him up on it. "Team leader's s'pposed to handle the report, though..."

"You're the commander, you can delegate," he counters, hauling open the door so we can step inside. "Plus, all your reports are in my handwriting anyway, so it's not like anyone would be able to tell the difference. _And_ I was there too, so I know what happened just as well as you. Maybe better, since I'm the one who stayed with Ezekiel."

I sigh and make a face at him. "Fine, fine, fine. Your logic is undeniable and overwhelming." I tug on his shirt collar until he bends down so I can kiss him. "Go write me that report please." I lower my voice to a whisper. "I'll thank you later."

Jowan grins and steals another kiss before straightening. "Looking forward to it."

My only response to that is a knowing wink as we go our separate ways.

**oOo**

As it turns out, no knocking is necessary. Nate and Vi are in his room, with the door half-open and Honey wedged between them, in pure doggy heaven thanks to the doubled belly rubs. "Well, looks like you've passed the most important test, Vi. His dog likes you."

Both of them look up and smile. Nathaniel gives Honey an extra affectionate scratch under the chin as he greets me. "Welcome back, Rahna. Everything went well for you, I trust?"

I shrug and lean against the door frame. "Well as it could. Good to see you again, Vi." Despite my light tone, I catch the look Nate is giving me and know I'll be getting more thoroughly questioned later, alone.

"And you, Commander," she smiles. "Did you need Nathaniel for something? We aren't in the middle of anything important right now, so if you need to steal him away for Warden-related business, I'm sure Honey and I would manage just fine."

I glance at Nathaniel, but he's not giving me any kind of _yes, please, I need a break_ looks, so I shake my head. "Nah, that's okay. I just wanted to check in let him know I'm back, see how things were going for you two."

"Feeling nosy?" Nathaniel teases.

"_Curious_, Howe," I correct, making a face at him. "The word you're looking for is curious, and yes. I am. But you know this about me."

"One of the benefits of a simple wedding is the ease of planning it," he replies, smirking in a way that makes me think he's being vague on purpose because he knows it drives me nuts. "And there was actually something I wished to discuss with you, if you have a moment...?"

I nod. "I'm free."

"Excellent." He leans over to kiss Vi on the cheek. "This won't take long."

She smiles as his standing prompts Honey to roll over, her chin resting firmly in Vi's lap. "I don't think I'm going anywhere anytime soon," she assures him, scratching between the mabari's ears. "You'll know where to find us."

Nate chuckles. "That I will. Rahna?"

I push away from the door frame and we start walking.

"Seriously, Nate," I begin, soon as we're out of Vi's earshot. "You know I need more details than 'simple means easy'. Spill."

"First off, there isn't much _to_ spill," he replies with a sigh. "The guest list is smaller than most parties my parents held, neither of us much cares for things to be lavish or elaborate, so we don't want anything fancy."

"You are the weirdest noble I have ever met," I comment as we turn down an empty hallway.

"I'm... fairly certain that's a compliment."

"It is. But what did you want to talk about? You said 'first', so I'm assumin' there's at least a second."

"There is. Violet is very seriously considering the idea of living here after we marry. Running her father's store single-handed is proving an overwhelming proposition to her, and since Albert is looking to expand, she's thinking about selling to him. I told her I'm sure you wouldn't mind her living here, but she wanted me to ask anyway."

I snort, running my hand along the wall. "Of course it's fine. Void, you can have your pick of the rooms. Even mine if you want 'em. I sure don't need all that space, an' I can just bunk with Jowan for all I care." _We sleep in the same bed most of the time anyway._

Nathaniel grins. "Much as I'm sure neither of you would mind that in the slightest, I couldn't possibly. And this is not from wanting to refrain from inconveniencing you so much as not wanting my father's ghost that close as we start our life together."

"I can understand that," I nod. Given that he grew up here, there's memory and history attached to certain places that the rest of us don't have. "You can have your pick of the other rooms, then. Anything else you wanted to talk about?"

"I admit, I find myself curious as well. Mostly regarding '_As well as it could have'_. So now I'm going to need _you _to "spill", as you put it."

"I knew you were gonna ask about that," I sigh.

I still tell him everything.


	46. Love & Mabari

46\. Love &amp; Mabari

I don't know if it makes things better or worse for Nate when Vi goes back to the city. On the one hand, no more teasing wolf whistles from Sigrun(and me) whenever they walk by, and it means all the wedding planning is basically done-which is a good thing, considering it's only a couple months away. On the other hand, he misses her terribly and is _lousy_ at hiding it, which Sigrun teases him about almost as much as she did about Vi's presence.

He spends a lot of time on the archery range, figurative storm cloud over his head, or "scouting" the woods with only Honey for company. Much as I enjoy the extra provisions these jaunts provide, after a few weeks of The Grumpy One being even more grumpy than usual, I follow him down to the archery range.

One eyebrow arches at the number of arrows already embedded in the bullseye. "How're you gonna fit any more in there, Nate?"

He eases out of the shot he was about to make, sparing me a quick glance before nocking the arrow once more. "Rahna, I know why you're-"

"You're moping," I cut him off. "I know you love Vi, and she had to go back to help Delilah, but _sod_. If you miss her this much, you could've just stayed with her."

"No." He shakes his head. "We agreed."

The arrow thuds into the bullseye, making the ones around it quiver from the impact.

"Agreed to what, not see each other for two months before the wedding?" I frown as he nocks another arrow. "That seems a little... extreme."

"It's for the best," Nathaniel shrugs as he draws back the bowstring. "It helps minimize... temptation."

The arrow flies, just barely catching the edge of the bullseye.

"Temp-" My eyes widen involuntarily. making me sort of glad he's not looking at me right now. "You mean you two haven't-"

"I wanted to court her _properly_, Rahna," he cuts me off, finally turning to face me. "And, it turns out, this is what we both want. To wait. Until we're husband and wife."

"And that's fine," I shrug. "Sorry if I sounded like it wasn't. I just figured you would've... _**y'know**__,_ by now..."

Nate grins as he unstrings his bow. "And it took you and Jowan how long...?"

I wrinkle my nose at him. "Alright, alright, I get your point. Can we maybe change the subject now?"

He chuckles. "Please."

"I think Fade developed a sweet tooth while I was gone. He tried to sit in my lap to give me welcome home kisses, and I swear he weighs at least ten pounds more than when I left," I comment, watching Nathaniel approach the target to reclaim his arrows.

"That, or Sigrun and Declan are perhaps... less resistant to the puppy eyes than you and I are," he points out, carefully removing his arrows from the target.

"That's true..." I muse, rocking against the fence, which creaks as it takes more of my weight. "Puppy eyes are very hard to resist."

Nate chuckles, sliding the last of the arrows back into the quiver. "Did you know Brandel has apparently picked up on the fact Mal can't _see_ puppy eyes, and learned to work around it?"

"No, I didn't." I push away from the fence so we can walk back to the keep together. "How's he work around it?"

"Lays his head in Mal's lap and whines. But very softly. You have to be sitting next to them to hear it."

"They are smart dogs," I mutter. "Is Vi gonna be able to resist if Honey tries anything like that?"

He shrugs. "Eventually. Maybe not at first, but she'll get there. And I don't mind if she spoils her a little. Given the odds on us having children, the dog may be all she gets."

"Mmm." It's all I can think of to say. I'm painfully aware of the odds myself. "Was that something you wanted?"

Nate's quiet for a long moment. "Not desperately, no. But... it would be nice. Especially for Violet, considering there will be times I have to leave for extended periods."

"Good point," I mutter, pulling open the keep door.

"Rahna, don't look so gloomy," he chides, almost playfully. "Children may be a long shot, but it's something both Violet and I are aware of. And she still-enthusiastically, I might add-agreed to marry me. It's not a dealbreaker, we'll be perfectly happy either way. So stop worrying about me. You're getting as bad as Jowan."

I snort and roll my eyes. "Please. I'll _never_ be that bad. I love the man to bits, but he has worrying down to an art form."

Nathaniel laughs. "Can't really argue with you there."

"Planning to argue with me elsewhere?" I tease.

"If necessary. For now I'll just repeat that you don't need to worry about me and then the two of us can get on with the rest of our day. I'm sure you have a lot to do, don't you, _Commander_?"

I punch him lightly on the arm. "Alright, fine, I can take a hint."

"Can you? Sometimes I doubt."

Just for that, I hit him harder, grinning when he winces and rubs his arm. "That was a love tap, Nate. Now I'm gonna go on with my day and let you get on with yours."

"Thank the Maker," he mutters, and I stick my tongue out at him, but we're both smiling as we go our separate ways.

**oOo**

All plans to do official Warden business things are driven from my mind when I enter my office. Jowan's perched in the window seat, knees drawn up and intently reading a two-page long letter.

"Goin' through my mail now?" I tease, making him jump.

"I'll have you know this one's mine," he retorts, half smile tugging at him lips. "Miri's apparently very bored in Kaiten, especially since they assigned Gabriel elsewhere."

I wince. "Oooh, that's gotta be hard for them."

"It is. Hence her writing me long, rambling letters about nothing in particular because he's not there to talk about her day."

"Makes you realize how lucky we are," I comment as I cross to sit next to him. "Aside from those few months I was here and you were in Kaiten, we've gotten to stay together."

"I think you have the words _Hero of Ferelden_ to thank for that," Jowan says, pulling his knees in closer to his chest so I don't sit on his feet. "That and the fact the Blight happened just a couple years ago. They want you ready if more trouble crops up, so they're going to leave your garrison alone."

I shrug. "Don't really care what the reason is, just that I've gotten to keep you. Did Miri have anything special to talk about?"

He shakes his head. "Drills, patrols, nothing exciting. She misses me, misses Gabriel, life is boring."

"Boring means no darkspawn to worry about, though," I point out.

"True. And _I_ like things that way. But she's more like you..." He hesitates, bites his lip. "Can I tell her? About us?"

I raise an eyebrow. "You mean you_haven't_ yet? I dunno whether to be touched on insulted."

"Neither, really," Jowan shrugs. "It's more me wanting to tell her in person so I can see her reaction than any statement of my feelings about our relationship."

"Jowan." I grin. "I was teasing, love. I'd think, by now, you'd have figured out I do that a lot."

"Not so much 'figure out' as remember you do it," he counters.

"Whatever. And yeah, you can tell her. But I wanna see how many different versions of 'I knew it' and 'I told you so' she manages to work into her reply. 'Cause you know she's gonna be even worse than Sigrun."

"She definitely is. And deal."

The two of us decide to forego 'Warden responsibilities' for the next couple hours and cuddle instead. It's a much better use of our time.

A/N: Been awhile since I've written one of these 'interim' chapters where nothing terribly exciting happens and there's no over-arching problem that needs to be solved. I'm with Jowan; the break is nice. Hopefully(for Nate's sake as much as mine), I'll get to the wedding either in the next chapter or the one after. I need these cuties married already.


	47. The Fun Never Ends

47\. The Fun Never Ends

As is usually the case with me involved, things don't stay boring for long. Just a couple days after my conversation with Nate, I come down to work on morning paperwork and find a tow-headed young man sitting in one of the extra chairs in my office.

I blink a few times, grateful that-for once-I decided to dress fully for doing my doing my paperwork. Usually this trip to my office is made in one of Jowan's shirts, no pants, and bare feet. "Uh, hi. Can I help you with something, ser?"

He jumps to his feet and bows, almost apologetically. "Sorry for my comin' so early, Commander, but we couldn't wait any longer. Somethin's been gettin' at our sheep. And the cows. An' this mornin' I found it had lamed one a' the horses. We were tryin' to not be a bother, but-"

"You never have to worry about that," I wave away his concern. "When you say 'something' d'you mean 'darkspawn' or something else? B'cause if it's somethin' else you're better off talkin' to Varel."

My visitor bites at a hangnail and fidgets with his hands for a second before sighing and answering, "Both, actually?" He sees my look of confusion and hurries to explain. "It's definitely an animal. We've lost things to bears, wolves, darkspawn b'fore, so I know what each looks like. The sheep and cows I-I think were wolves, and the horse it looked most like a bear... But they leave this... this rot in the wounds. It has a sick smell to it an' turns your stomach like bad milk."

"Okay, okay." I hold up one hand. I still haven't eaten breakfast yet, and have no desire to lose my appetite. "As soon as people are up, I will get a team together to hunt down whatever's plaguing you." It's probably blight wolves, maybe a bereskarn. So, a walk to wherever his farm is, track down the animals, kill them all, and come back. Shouldn't be too hard. "What's your name and where's your farm?"

"Ewan, Ewan McClaren. Our place is out by the Turnobles', if y'know where that is?"

I grimace and nod. "I do. Fought darkspawn out that way." _After they'd killed the whole family._

"Thank you, Commander. My folks've been worried sick about this an' t'day was just the last I could take of it. That's our livelihood bein' chipped away at." Ewan stands, moves toward towards the door. "So you'll be by later today, then?"

"Some of us will, yes," I nod, already trying to figure who would be best to send or take.

"Right, then. Thank ya." He bobs his head in an awkward almost-bow and takes his leave. After he's gone, I close the door, flop into my chair, and stare at the paperwork on my desk without really seeing it. _So, who gets to go hunting?_

**oOo**

The first person to come to mind is Nate, figuring he could use the distraction. Also, he's a fellow early riser, so I'm guessing he's already awake for me _to_ ask. Sure enough, I find him sitting on the stairs up to the battlements, Honey hovering mere inches from his elbow, her eyes locked on the plate in his hands. As I approach, she whines softly and headbutts Nathaniel's arm, earning a low chuckle as he tosses her his last piece of egg.

"And here I thought you were worried about _Vi_ spoiling her," I tease.

Nathaniel turns, greets me with a smile. "Good morning, Rahna. Did you need something, or are you just here to chat?"

"Little of both, actually," I admit, leaning against the railing. "I do have something to ask you, but regardless of your answer, I have something... related I wanna pick your brain about."

"Alright. Ask away." He looks up at me expectantly, setting his plate on the ground for Honey to lick clean-which she does with gusto.

"You wanna help me hunt down some blighted animals that have been hasslin' a farm?"

Nate blinks, cocks his head. "Go on..."

"From the sound of it, most likely a pack of wolves and a bear that were corrupted at some point," I elaborate. "I don't know how long they've been blighted, but it seems the McClaren farm is the only one they've bothered."

"And you're asking me because..." he raises an eyebrow.

I can't help but grin as I list off the reasons. "Of my trackers, you've been a Warden the longest, so you'll be able to sense the Taint the best, I don't want you getting soft, and I figured it couldn't hurt to offer you a distraction. Occupy part of the six weeks you have left to go."

The eyebrow arches higher. "Hunting Blight-corrupted wolves and possibly a bereskarn? Are you trying to get me _killed_ before my wedding, or merely maimed?"

I roll my eyes at the dry sarcasm in his voice and somehow resist the urge to tug playfully on the loose ponytail he's pulled his hair into. "Neither, and I'm slightly offended at your lack of confidence in our skill, Nathaniel Howe."

"It's not lack of confidence so much as knowing things tend to go sideways for us," he shrugs. "Who else were you going to bring?"

"Jowan and either Declan or Vhiané, I guess," I reply. "I've fought bereskarn before, and I want a warrior along for this."

Nathaniel laughs. "I'd recommend Declan. Poor man's going crazy from boredom. I think Vhiané is more accustomed to long stretches of nothing exciting, but Declan's getting restless."

"Hmm. You'd think a former templar would be used to stuff like that..." Part of me can't help but wonder if that ties back to his quitting lyrium. _How long does withdrawal last, anyway?_ "But sure. You, me, Jowan, and Declan. Feel better about our odds?"

"Told you it's not the odds I'm worried about. But yes, I'll come."

I grin and plunk down next to him on the steps. "Great. So, since there's a bit of time until normal people wake up, let's talk tracking. What's gonna be the best way to do this?"

We spend the next couple hours strategizing and discussing the best way to go about tracking our prey while we wait for other people to wake up.

**oOo**

Jowan and Declan are both happy to come along, though Jowan can't resist teasing me about not letting things just be boring for a couple months.

"It's part of why you love me," I tease back. "Like part of why I love you is how much _fun_ I get to have wakin' you up in the mornin'." I tweak his ponytail.

He rolls his eyes and snarks, "Oh, yes, that part's _so much_ fun," as he reaches for his staff.

I beat him to it and old it behind my back. "New rule: you have to give me a kiss first."

Jowan laughs softly at my impish grin and reaches over my head to grab the staff. "Is that so?"

"Mmhm." I tighten my grip.

"Well, then..." He bends and kisses my forehead, whispering, "You didn't say _where_-"

I grab the front of his shirt with one hand and pull him in for a real kiss. "You know what I meant," I mutter as I hand him his staff. "Let's go. Nate and Declan are prob'ly waitin' for us by now..."

"And who's fault is that?" Jowan asks playfully as we leave the room.

I don't give him the satisfaction of an answer-beyond tugging him down for another kiss.

A/N: Ugh, this chapter actually fought me a fair bit. Very annoying. Hopefully the rest of this arc will cooperate better. And not take too long. I really wanna write a certain wedding. :3


	48. It'll Be a Breeze

48\. It'll Be a Breeze

It's almost a whole day's walk out to the McClaren farm, a walk that passes uneventfully. Declan is very obviously happy to be doing something outside the the Vigil's walls, Jowan and I joke about the similarities, superficial as they might be, between this and the trip to Honnleath, and Nathaniel is his usual quiet self, keeping an eye out for trouble as we make our way down the road.

Ewan is waiting on the front porch of the farmhouse when we arrive, and his shoulders visibly sag in relief when he sees us. "Oh, good, you made it. My parents went into the city for the day, and I was hopin' you'd be here by the time they got back. Just t' set their minds at ease, y'know?"

I nod. "Makes sense. And hopefully since we already have a good idea of what's _causing_ this, we can track it back to the source and put the animals out of their misery fairly quickly."

"You seem awfully optimistic," Ewan comments, looking a tad surprised.

I shrug and nod toward Nate. "He's a really good tracker, and we're a very good team. I've also come across tainted bear and wolves before, so I know how to fight them and win. We should be okay."

Jowan elbows me in the ribs and mutters, "Don't sound so cocky."

I just roll my eyes. "It's not cockiness if it's _true._ Gabriel and I handled a bereskarn just the two of us-" _okay, plus one summoned wolf_\- "so I think with _four_ of us this'll be a breeze."

"Well, the sheep pens are around back, if you want to start there," Ewan shrugs, gesturing toward the side of the house to sort of point us in the right direction. "I need to start workin' on dinner. I promised I'd have it ready by the time they got home."

"Alright," I nod. "We'll know where to find you if we have questions."

Ewan goes inside, and the four of us head in the direction he indicated. We haven't even made it all the way to the pens when Jowan winces and shakes his head as if trying to be rid of a nasty headache.

"You alright?" I frown.

He nods, rubbing his forehead. "I... I can already hear it."

My eyebrows arch upward. "It's still that strong? There must've been a lot of them..."

"There were," Nathaniel confirms grimly, kneeling to examine the tracks dug into the mud. "I'd say anywhere from six to ten wolves, plus the bereskarn."

"Well, that's just _lovely,_" Declan mutters, rubbing the back of his neck. "I'm gonna be wishin' I'd worn the heavy armor, aren't I?"

"Quite possibly." I follow the line of tracks with my eyes. "D'ya think we should just follow these, or look to see if hte bereskarn's seem to head to the same place? So we know what we're walking into?"

Nathaniel shakes his head. "Tainted creatures always seek out their own. Whether they be darkspawn, or ghouls, or animals. I'm quite sure that when we find the wolves, the bereskarn will be close by."

**oOo**

He's right. The wolf tracks lead us on a long, meandering route through the woods that border the McClaren property, but they eventually vanish into a cave.

Jowan rubs at another headache. "There... Rahna, there's a lot of them in there."

I toss him a concerned look and rest my hand on his arm. "Are you gonna be okay? I haven't seen it get to you like this in years."

"It's... more concentrated. There being more of them makes it stronger. I'll push through. You need me." He covers my and with his, squeezes gently, before we follow Nate and Declan into the cave. _Toward_ the buzzing at the back my skull.

"Do we have a plan?" Declan whispers. "_Kill ev'rythin'_ is all well an' good, but close quarters like this, if we aren't careful we could wind up hurting each other as much as our quarry."

"I did have an idea," Nat murmurs, pausing to look back at me in the dim light. "It's... slightly crazy, but it could make this a good deal easier if we can pull it off."

"I'm game," I shrug. "I like easier, and crazy has never bothered me."

He gives a tight smile. "Do you remember that... ability you taught me? Calling animals?"

"Yeah, but Nate, if we do that, we just run the risk of them getting tainted and turning on us, too."

He shakes his head. "That's not what I was thinking. Do you think it would work on tainted creatures?"

"What, like, get the wolves to help us take down the bereskarn, and then deal with them?" I mull it over. "It's possible, I guess. It _would_ make this easier. And the Blight would make them more susceptible to a Warden's influence... We can try. How many d'ya think you can control and still be able to concentrate on the fighting?"

"Two or three? Depending on how easily influenced they are, maybe four?"

"Alright, so that's the plan; kill the berskarn and any wolves Nate and I can't control first, then worry about the rest."

"Sounds good," Declan nods, and we resume our way into the cave.

Any hopes that the animals would be asleep are dashed as we step into the wider cavern and a low growl dances along the wall. The downside of the Blight connection is they're more aware of us, too.

_So much for that_. I sigh. "Light it up!"

Jowan obliges, stepping to the side so he doesn't hit _us_ before sending a fireball splashing against the far end of the cavern. The bereskarn and a couple of the blight wolves are inside the impact zone, and they-along with the dried grass of the the bereskarn's bed-catch and blaze. The smell makes my eyes water, but at least there's more light. Even if I don't like what it's showing me. There's _at least_ ten wolves in addition to the berskarn. No way Nate and I can control that many, but we can still try for our best. Which we do, in the initial chaos following the fireball. Declan's sword rasps free of the sheath, Nate fires off an arrow-which pierces the throat of one crouching wolf, Jowan starts summoning something big, and I pull out my blades as I focus on snagging as many of the wolves as I can. I feel two of them bend and fight briefly before they turn and leap at the bereskarn's throat. I stretch a little further, simultaneously skewering a wolf that makes it too close, and gain sway over another one.

The next few minutes are pure chaos of roars and battle cries and blood, all underscored by the sick stench of burning fur anf flesh. The bereskarn is huge, even for its kind, amd several of the wolves serve as little more than distraction so Declan can get in close enough to do some real damage. Slowly but surely, between us and the bereskarn, the wolves are whittled down until there's only four left-two each for me and Nate. I'm grateful I was right about the Blight connection making this easier, because I'm more than a little rusty.

"Rahna, look out!" A flash of magic flares in tandem with Jowan's warning, but his spell isn't enough to slow the bereskarn as it charges me. They're a terrifying sight, and I fight down a wave of panic as it gets way too close for comfort.

Fortunately, Declan isn't far behind it, and I don't have to dodge for long before he interposes himself between it and me. It got in one good hit, raking its claws down my arm, but I'll survive.

The real problem proves to be the few seconds of distraction caused by the pain. The few seconds that are all it takes for my control to slip from one of the wolves. Confused and riled an cornered, it lunges for the first thing it identifies as a threat.

Nathaniel.

Even as I wheel and charge toward the wolf, all else about the fight forgotten, I know I'm going to be too slow.

_"Are you trying to get me __**killed**__ before my wedding, or merely maimed?"_ echoes in my head-alongside my own cry of panic-as I watch the wolf's claws rake down the side of Nate's head with enough force to spin him partway around before he drops.

For the space of a couple heartbeats, I can't breathe. The air won't go into my lungs, and the sickening thought I'll have to tell Vi I got someone else she loves killed lodges in my mind.

But only for the pair of heartbeats before Nate gets back up.

I sigh in relief, breathe a prayer of thanks even as I reach the wolf and drive my sword down through it's back, pinning it to the ground while I cut its throat.

It whimpers and flails briefly before going still, upon which I pull my sword free and turn to Nate. "You okay?"

He nods, despite the blood streaming down the side of his face. "Well enough to fight." He gestures at my arm. "I could ask you the same."

"And I would answer the same," I riposte, returning my attention to the fight when I hear Declan grunt in pain as the bereskarn slaps him away. "Let's end this."

"Couldn't agree more." He underscores the words with a pair of arrows fired at the bereskarn's haunch, both of which hit, distracting it from Declan.

The opening is just what he needs, and as the tainted bear rears and roars in pain, Declan cuts it open from belly to throat.

_And I thought burning fur smelled bad._ I gag as the corpse folds in a heap, swallowing bile and focusing on the three remaining wolves. With four of us and them still muddled by me and Nate, it's not hard. Once they're dead, we drag all the wolf corpses to pile around the bereskarn and Jowan sets the whole thing on fire. We move almost as one away from the acrid sting and out to the clear, twilight air.

I shoot Jowan a sheepish grin. "Told you it'd be a breeze."

A/N: So, yeah. That got interesting. :D And long. But I wanted to get the whole fight in one chapter so there was no evilness this time around.


	49. Fallout

49\. Fallout

Jowan meets my comment with the only proper response-an _extremely_ sarcastic 'Uh-huh' paired with an impressive eyeroll. He then gently tugs on my uninjured arm. "Come on, let's get back to the farmhouse so I can at least sort of patch you lot up."

I give him a quick once-over as we walk. "You're okay?"

He nods, raking loose hair out of his face. "Yes. For once I managed to avoid almost getting myself killed. And I was being careful with my spells, so I still have plenty of mana left to use for healing."

"You're still taking care of Nate first," I mutter, kicking at a pebble. I don't know if I'll ever get that image out of my head.

"I figured you were gonna say that," Jowan smiles, sliding his hand down my arm to link his fingers with mine and gently squeeze.

I don't let go.

**oOo**

We arrive back at the farmhouse just as an older man and woman pull up in a small wagon pull up in a small wagon, the back full of bundles and the horse pulling it not looking particularly worn out.

"Can I... help you folks with anything?" the man asks, frowning as he scans the bloody mess that is three quarters of our party.

"Would be nice if we could borrow your front porch while we patch ourselves up," I reply. "We're Grey Wardens. Ewan contacted us about your, um, _animal problem_. Which shouldn't be a problem anymore."

His face brightens noticeably. "Oh, well, thank you all. You sure ya don't need anything? Th' tall one looks 'bout ready to drop."

I slant a glance toward Nathaniel and see that he's right. Nate's not looking too good. Just stubborn enough to try and tough his way through it until he passes out. "Just the temporary use of your porch, like I said. Our healer's got everything he needs."

"Nonsense," the woman declares, hopping lightly down from the wagon. "If you took care of those beasts, you've been a bigger help than we can put into words. You can use the front room while I see how Ewan's comin' with dinner. And then you'll stay and eat with us."

I smile. "Ma'am, I appreciate the offer, but I can't ask you to feed us. Grey Wardens are, um, surprisingly big eaters."

She waves me off with a grin, taking a couple of the bundles from the wagon. "Please, darlin', I've raised seven boys, an' two girls with appetites t' match. The four of you don't scare me any. And it's the least I can do. C'mon, follow me."

Not really having a suitable argument, I shrug and do as she says, catching the amused grin Jowan sends me. I just roll my eyes at him.

"Front room's in there-" she gestures to a doorway- "but one more thing: m'name's not ma'am, it's Allison. Husband's Daniel, and hopefully dinner will be ready soon." And with that she's off toward the kitchen, leaving me at least a little breathless.

"Meet your match, Rahna?" Jowan teases, leaning his staff against the wall.

"Is that how I come off?" I ask, mildly surprised.

"A whirlin' dervish a' energy an' goodwill? Yeah. More often'n not," Declan grins as he drops into a chair. It quickly turns into a wince as he jostles probably-cracked ribs. "Mm... But don't worry; that's a compliment, boss."

I'm too tired to remind him of my feelings on that title-plus, from his grin, he used it on purpose-and so I just plunk onto the sofa, twisting sideways so I don't get blood on anything and start trying to work off my armor. "Nate, here, come sit by me, so we risk as few pieces of their furniture as possible."

He doesn't give any indication he heard me, feeling gingerly at the gashes down the side of his head with bloody fingers.

So I increase the volume and try again. _"__**Nathaniel.**__"_ This time I wait until he looks at me. "If you're out of it enough t' not hear me, 'specially from this close, that's too much blood loss for you to be remotely okay. Sit."

Nate half-smiles as he obeys. "Don't tell me you're feeling guilty, Rahna."

I don't answer, slightly surprised he was able to pick up on that. But, then again, the man_is _one of my best friends and an expert at reading nuance. Surprised is the one thing I _shouldn't_ be.

His smile drops, replaced by a look of concern that flickers every so briefly into a wince as Jowan starts to work on healing his injuries. "Maker, Rahna, don't. It's not your fault-"

"Isn't it?" I cut him off, raking my hand through my hair and biting back a yelp because that's the clawed up arm. "I _am_ the reason you were here in the first place."

"I came because I wanted to," he corrects. "If you hadn't asked me, I would have found out and probably requested to join you."

"Nate, I... I almost got you _killed _less than two months out from your wedding," I protest.

Nathaniel shakes his head, then bites his lip and holds still when Jowan makes a _tsk_ sound at him. "Rahna, I'm a grown man. If I didn't want to come-if I thought it was too much of a risk-I would have said no. You were very clear that that was an option and I chose not to take it. This is _not_ your fault. In any way, shape, or form. Stop blaming yourself, or I'll be forced to sic my fiancee on you when we get back."

I manage a wobbly grin at his light-hearted threat. "Okay, I'll give you that one. But my concentration slipping is-"

"Something that just as easily could have happened in the reverse, had the bereskarn come after _me_. In which case I would be the one engaging in self-flagellation and you would tell me not to because it wasn't my fault and you'd be fine and what's one more scar; they're sexy anyway, or something like that."

I laugh and slouch against the back of the sofa. "Maker damn it all, Nathaniel Howe, you know me entirely too well. I will also concede that point."

I've been watching Jowan throughout the conversation, as his expression shifts through concentration to relief to something I can't quite read. He mutters something under his breath as Nate shows just how well he knows me. When whatever it was doesn't get a reaction out of the archer, Jowan catches my eye as he raises one hand and snaps his fingers right next to Nathaniel's ear.

He doesn't so much as flinch.

_Oh, balls._ "Nate?"

"Hmm?" He looks at me expectantly and raises an eyebrow.

"I need you to trust me for a second, because this might seem weird at first." _And I'm desperately hoping I'm wrong, in which case it'll seem even weirder. _I shift so I'm kneeling on the sofa.

"Of course," he says slowly. He's kind enough to leave unspoken that I do seemingly weird stuff a lot and he's used to it.

I lean forward and cover his right ear with with my good hand. "Can you hear me?"

Nathaniel frowns. "Barely. Why are you whispering?"

_Not wrong. Dammit. _I take my hand away. "I wasn't."

I see the exact second the pieces click. "Ah."

"We... We can prob'ly at least sort of fix it, right?" I look at Jowan hopefully.

He shrugs. "Maybe? Over time? I've done all I can for tonight, especially if you want me to be able to take care of you and Declan as well."

"Do that," Nathaniel nods, pushing off the sofa. "I'll go ask Allison if there's somewhere to wash up." He flashes a dry smile. "I doubt she wants me at the dinner table looking like this." With that, he leaves the room.

"Rahna first," Declan says, breaking the spell of silence as he settles back into his chair, hand pressed against his side.

"No, Dec, you-"

"I'm not bleedin'," he points out. "B'sides, there's only so much magic can do for broken bones, anyway. Better he takes care a' you first, boss."

"Fine, I sigh, scooting forward to perch on the edge of the sofa as Jowan helps me with the last couple straps on my armor I couldn't manage one-handed. "I think they look-ow-worse than they-_OW-_-are."

"Liar," Jowan mutters, curving one hand gently under my arm as he starts summoning a healing spell. "Fortunately, however, I share your opinion on scars."

"At least they're sexy?" I whisper, and he nods.

"Much as I don't like the reminder of how close you come to dying with alarming frequency, physical manifestations of how tough you are _are_ rather attractive."

"Flatter," I tease, tickling his elbow with my fingertips.

"Rahna, unless you want the spell to go wrong, I would suggest _not_ doing that," he chastises, arm reflexively jerking away.

"Aye, and I"d not mind it ya stowed the flirtin'," Declan pipes up.

"You heard the man," Jowan grins. "Behave. At least through dinner."

"Heh, no promises," I snort as he finishes. "I think I'll go find Nate, see about cleanin' myself up."

Jowan shoot me a knowing look. "Make sure he's okay?"

"Maybe something like that," I hedge. "He's my friend and I'm... concerned."

"He's also a more private person than you," he points out. "If he doesn't want to talk about it, don't push too hard." He grins. "You might get yourself uninvited to the wedding."

"Well, we can't have that. I know you were lookin' forward to seein' me in a dress again," I deadpan. "In all seriousness, I promise not to push too hard. See you at dinner."

"Mm-hm." He nods as he moves to help Declan.

I tug him back to steal a quick kiss and then go to find Nate, dearly hoping he found the washroom. I _really_ want to get clean.

A/N: I am a mean mama. Honestly, though, this is better than what I was originally planning to do. And like Jowan said, they might be able to fix it, at least some. Or Nathaniel will be mostly deaf in one ear. It'll probably slow him down about as much as being blind in one eye has hampered Rahna(in other words; not much at all).


	50. Happily Ever After

50\. Happily Ever After

I'm not in the least bit surprised when we finish dinner and Allison insists we spend the night, citing everything from the lateness of the hour to the fact she has several empty beds we can sleep in. She's right about how late it is, and a bed sounds better than a bedroll-especially to Declan, who's still sore-so we don't exactly protest loud and long. And so we spend a restful night, free of dreams of any sort, and leave in the morning after a truly farm-sized breakfast.

The walk back to the Vigil is quiet and uneventful, much like the walk _out, _though I do catch Nathaniel brushing his fingers against his new scars once or twice. When we get back to the Vigil and can have a truly _private_ conversation, I really want to talk to him.

**oOo**

That opportunity doesn't come until several hours after we make it back to the Vigil. There are several issues that demand my attention as Warden-Commander, and when I finally do get free, I have to track him down. It's not very hard. Much like various corners of the ramparts are _my_ retreat, the archery range is his. He isn't shooting when I find him, though; all his arrows are already lodged in the three hay-backed targets, in and immediately around the bullseyes. Nate is sitting on one of the rough-hewn benches by the fence, meticulously restringing his bow.

He doesn't look up, but as I sit next to him comments, "The old one was getting worn."

I glance at the discarded bowstring coiled next to him. It_is_ beginning to fray in a couple places. "That's not what I was gonna ask."

"I know. But what you were going to ask, we don't need to discuss."

"Are you sure?" I nibble at a hangnail. He did this grateful but brushing me off thing at the McClarens' too.

He nods, finally looking up at me. "Rahna, I'm fine. There's no blame to be assigned, and I can guarantee when I tell Violet, the worst that will happen is she'll fuss over me a bit."

I smirk. "And you won't mind that at all, will you?"

Nate shakes his head and smiles. "Can't say I will, no. But Jowan's currently holed up in the library, surrounded by stacks of books, trying to find the best way to minimize the damage. Internally, at least. I think the scars are here to stay."

"Oh. Good. Not the scars, the tryin' our best to make it better." I look over at the targets and their bristling crop of arrows. "Doesn't seem to've messed up your aim any."

"Even if it had, I would've adjusted," he shrugs. "Like you did."

I grin and nod a concession as I scratch the edge of my own scar. "Okay, yeah, I hafta give you that one. Just promise you won't be shy about askin' for help if you need it?"

"I promise," Nathaniel acquiesces as he stands. "I _could_ use some help collecting the arrows, if you don't mind?"

I sigh as I push off the bench. "I just walked right into that, didn't I?"

"Yes. Yes, you did."

"So, you getin' excited or nervous or anything 'bout the wedding yet?" I ask as we carefully work arrows out of targets.

"Just impatient," Nathaniel chuckles.

"It _does_ seem like a rather long wait, considerin' how head over heels you two are for each other," I agree. "Any particular reason?"

"Aside from the ridiculous amount of planning involved in even a _small_ wedding?" He slides the arrows he's collected into his quiver. "That was her parents' anniversary. It's also, interestingly enough, Delilah's birthday."

"Aw, how sweet," I laugh. "Your birthday present to her will be the fruition of all the hard work she put in to get you two t'gether."

He roll his eyes and snorts but doesn't say anything.

"Don't worry, Nate, I'm sure it'll be here before ya know it."

**oOo**

I'm more right than I realize. Given the circumstances of my own attempted wedding, I really don't understand anything about how they work when they're for love rather than arranged, planned carefully with the date known in advance instead of happening in a rush of bright colors and giddy excitement.

But I'm a fast learner, and I roll with it when Nathaniel leaves to spend the last week prior in the city. It's only a few days after _that_ Jowan, Sigrun, and I leave as well. We're serving as the Warden representation at the wedding, so we can leave a decent garrison at the Vigil. Just in case. I use the travel time to mull over a few things I've been thinking about for a while now, decide they're all good ideas, and wind up sleeping better than I have in weeks, snuggled close against Jowan's chest.

When we arrive in the city, Vi is too busy to give us more than a distracted-but still warm-hello before bustling off to deal with Wedding Things. Delilah is more than happy to play the hostess, however, Eli balanced on her hip half the time. The other half he's napping or I've borrowed him. He loves it when Sig and I make faces at him and blow raspberries against the bottom of his feet. He also likes to try and pull of Sigrun's tattoos, which makes _her_ laugh. And Delilah is happy for the freedom to help her giddily nervous best friend prepare for the "most exciting day of her life".

**oOo**

The day of the wedding finds me delightfully less tense than I was about Anora's. This is probably due to knowing bride and groom both very well, and the fact it's significantly smaller. I am, however, planning to wear the same dress. It still fits, and I don't exactly wear fancy dresses for a lot; why bother with a new one? Maker only knows the next time I'll need it.

True to form, Jowan doesn't drag himself out of bed until almost lunch-and then only with _much_ poking and prodding. He grouses a little as he slouches at the table, but I kiss his temple and hand him one of my sweet rolls.

"You're feeling gen'rous today," he mumbles as he bites into it.

"It's a special day," I shrug. "But if you don't want it, I'll take it back."

"No, no. Thank you." He eats the rest of it in two bites and looks more awake, tilting his head as he looks at me. "Your hair looks nice like that."

I laugh, one hand edging toward the messy bun. "Sweetheart, I haven't done my hair yet." I curl a loose wisp around my finger.

He shrugs, even though his face shades ever so slightly pink. "Still looks nice."

"You're biased."

"Extremely," Jowan concurs, grinning as he reaches for an apple. We slip into companionable silence as he finishes eating and I do my hair. Today is causing an understandable mix of emotions and feelings, but the primary ones are easy to identify. I'm excited and want everything to go well. Nate and Vi deserve a happily ever after-or at least as much of one as a Warden can get.

**oOo**

Despite the knot in my stomach that always expect things to go wrong at weddings, it goes off without a hitch. Unless each of them fumbling at one point or another in their vows because they're too busy grinning like idiots at each other counts as a hitch. It doesn't to me; just an excuse for me and Sigrun to tease Nate mercilessly for quite a while. But that can wait. Because Vi's beaming like the sun, which is fitting: Nate looks about as happy and content as a cat in a sunbeam holding her hand. Their entwined hands mean I can't tackle-hug Nate like I want to, so I settle for an enthusiastic sideways embrace instead.

"Congratulations, both of you," I grin, immensely enjoying how happy they look. Unbridled joy is a new look on Nathaniel, but I like it. "Vi, could I borrow your husband for a minute? There's something I need to tell him, just very quickly, and then I'll give him back."

Vi laughs as she lets go of Nate's hand. "You've always brought him back before, Commander. I trust you to do so again."

Nathaniel brushes a quick kiss against her cheek before he follows me. "Won't be long, love."

"That's what I like to hear," she teases, before Delilah seems to materialize out of thin air to drag her into a hug and start a joyous, rapid-fire conversation.

Nathaniel gamely follows me into one of the chantry's side rooms. "Alright, what's so important?"

"Your wedding present," I reply, twisting the worn golden band on my ring finger. "Well, part of it. Part's wrapped an' with the others, but this can't really be wrapped and I wanted to tell you first..."

"Rahna, what did you _do_?" He raises an eyebrow and crosses his arms over his chest.

I fix my gaze on the gleaming gold around _his_ ring finger rather than meet his eyes. "It's not so much something I've done as something I'm _going_ to do..."

_"__**Rahna**__._"

I sigh, move to rake one hand through my hair, but stop so I don't wreck it. "I'm gonna step down as Warden-Commander an' recommend you as my replacement."

His breath catches. "Can you _do_ that? Either of them?"

"Dunno, but I'm going to," I shrug.

"Your idea of a wedding present is to give me a job that will stick me behind a desk?"

"First off, how stuck behind a desk have I been the past couple years?" I point out. "Second, I'm givin' you a job that will make it harder for them to reassign you out of Amaranthine."

"Ah." Nate chuckles. "You are a devious little minx, aren't you?"

"Yes, I am," I grin. "Obviously, I won't step down until you an' Vi get back from your honeymoon, but after that... it's all yours."

"You're not planning on leaving me, are you?" he frowns.

"'Course not. You'll just be the boss." I giggle. "Though I'd lay money Sigrun still calls _me_ 'boss'. It's more a nickname than a title at this point."

"I'm not taking that bet."

I laugh. "Wise man. I knew it was a good call. I'll let you get back to your wife now. Enjoy your happily ever after."

"If I can pry her away from Delilah," he replies wryly.

"Hey, you're the one who decided to marry your sister's best friend."

"Very true. Rahna?"

I pause halfway to the door. "Hmm?"

"Thank you."

"You're welcome, Nate," I reply around a grin. I leave him to find his wife as I track down _my_ better half. As expected, Jowan's hiding in a corner, but greets me with a hug and a relieved smile.

"There you are," he murmurs, pressing a kiss against my hair. "Everything okay?"

"Just fine," I nod, snuggling in against his chest. "Needed to talk to Nate. You havin' fun?"

"Well,_now_ I am," he says wryly. "Sigrun went to bother someone else, and you're here."

"Hidin' in a corner is your idea of fun?" I tease, looking up to shoot him a smirk.

"It is when you're with me." He steals a kiss.

"Ah, excellent point." I kiss him back, then wriggle in closer. "Jowan?"

"Mm?" His hand captures mine, fingers rubbing over calloused and scarred knuckles.

"I love you."

I feel him chuckle softly against my hair. "I love you, too."

We fall silent, simply watching the ongoing celebration, and I smile. It may have taken a few extra tries to find, and be more than a little unorthodox in nature, but if _this_-the Wardens, my friends being happy_, __**Jowan**__-_is my happily ever after?

I'll take it.

A/N: Annnnd we're done. And I don't just mean this fic. My original plan with Rahna was to take her all the way to her Calling, but between changing life circumstances for me, and the fact DAI called into question if the Warden will even have a Calling, and I decided it was best to end things on a happier note than "Rahna and some friends go to the Deep Roads to die". I've also started to feel like writing her was more of a chore than something fun, and I love her too much to continue doing something that will make me resent her. I need a break. A nice long one. I will write her more one-shots for sure, and there's at least one more (hopefully shorter) multi-chapter thing I want to write her, but I need a couple months off first. Thank you so much to everyone who's stuck with me and my girl through all five years, I greatly appreciate your support, even if I'm lousy about replying to comments. :)


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